Because I never knew this was even possible....

Hello, long time lurker, but I finally decided to post.

I have looked all over the internet for someone in a similiar situation to mine to no avail, maybe you can help. Long story short, my GF (3 years with 6 month interlude) is not giving me any. She is not religious, she is not conceited or has a problem with her sexuality. What's more, she's into recieving... a lot. She has no problem with fondling, backrubs, neck massage, handjobs or oral sex, as long as she's not the one doing any work. She has no problem touching me either but will not stand to take my clothes off or jerk me off or anything. She had no problem at all half a year ago, but things have cooled off after that.

A little bit of context is in order. Our relationship hit a rough patch halfway through last year. I'll admit I was a whiny crybaby drama-queen and managed to get myself dumped. I kept going at her when we went into a just friends stage (needless to say all sex stopped after that) and sort of started seeing other people. Not really, we never actually really stopped seeing each other. Come December I decided to get my act together and get back with her.

Things sailed smoothly. I stopped being the codependent self obsessed wussy she was dating before and have become a much more enjoyable person to be with. Our relationship has soared to new heights and we're very happy together right now... except for that one little thing. A few weeks after we started dating again. she started letting me massage her, rub her back and all the rest. Just that she would never return the favor. Its been almost a couple of months now of the same thimg. I finally confronted her about it and she answered that she doesn't know why she does that. It just isnt in her.

Make no mistake, I love her, I really do. I was an ass to her before and after we inmediately broke up and if I incurred in changes, it was beneficial to everyone around me, me included. She feels the same way, not just because she's told me so, but because of the way she acts around me.

So what is it? I really don't get it, she feels really confident when recieving but totally shuts down when it's about her giving? Is this a trust issue? I just have to wait it out?

 

I've got no advice other than "ask her". If you want us to read her mind, that's kind of impossible.

 

I will cut to the chase: Have you spoken to her about this? The first step to figuring out what's going on with her, is to speak to her about it. Actually speak rather than interpret her feelings through her actions.

 

I think it's very simple. She's lazy.

 

Just keep being a good doormatboyfriend and everything will work out.

 

Have considered asking her about maybe adding another woman to the equation?

You know, one that'll tend to the flagpole in your pants that she is currently ignoring.

...

Canned Tilted Forum Project Relationship Advice (w/ Smoke Flavoring):

Adult relationships involve two big things: compatibility and communication.

Compatibility is where you each do the things you like together. Like having sex.

Communication is where you work things out that are different. Like having sex.

If you aren't compatible and communication can't change it, it's time to move on.

People evolve over time but you should never count on them changing for you.

...

A long time ago--way back before Twitter--I was in a relationship with a great girl. She was smart and athletic and had some rockin' tits and snorted when she laughed (major keeper). But she wasn't very inspired in the bedroom. I wanted to fuck her raw all the time, she just wanted to watch Ghost and maybe enjoy some missionary in the dark once a month. Despite the fact that we were good friends and compatible partners otherwise, the sex thing made it very difficult to be happy together long term.

Get some, go again.

 

And thus ends tonight's reading from the Book of Crom.

You get the relationship you make, quetelet. Hang around. I hear women hit their sexual peak sometime in their early 40's.

 

I have to agree with everyone else. Talk to her. Communication is the key to any relationship

 

It's not just communication, though. It's acknowledging that talk can't always fix everything and that sometimes you need to take your business elsewhere instead of trying to reinvent the wheel.

Many of us spent time in relationships trying to talk through things because the idea of throwing it away seemed wasteful; we were proud of what we'd built even if it wasn't making us happy.

The hardest part about new relationships is making that decision. "Can this person and I quickly adapt to each other?" If not, I think it's best to move on to someone that is more compatible.

Life is too short to waste time in an unsatisfying relationship when something as simple as a handjob 3 times a week can keep you happy. Somewhere there's a girl out there that will jerk you off.

I'm on a couple of forums and I keep running into the same theme: Dudes in relationships where they're unhappy because they're not getting even close to the one-a-week scrotum-emptying.

 

Just from your word choice and sentence structure, you're clearly coming at this from a submissive-doormat role, which is not at all attractive.

She dumped you, you chased her down and clung until she took you back. That's not attractive. Until you fix the balance of power, you're (not) fucked.

 

Plan9 is right, sitting around waiting and being the "marter" never works out. It has to be a give and take. If you try and talk, and she has no answer's thats kind of your answer right there. If she doesn't know why, she's not interested enough in how you feel. You can sit and wait, but theres a 99% chance it isn't going to change. better to figure this out now then to hold on to a hope and end up with kids and still waiting, then not only are you miserable, the kids will eventually be too.

 

martyr: Martyr - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

I know this feeling. When someone is not interested enough in how I feel. Crushing to the soul.

Moving on... ​

 

...

Rereading the OP has left me with a few questions:

How did we not scare this guy away? He's got balls.

How did this guy manage to miss Reddit, SomethingAwful, Yahoo! Answers (LOL!) and every other forum on the web?

During the 6 month break, was she boning anybody else? And what about you? Were you making voodoo dolls and listening to Every Breath You Take or what?

Has anything else changed in her life other than your mangina status? It is not my intent to insult you but it seems like you went from fuckbuddy to cuddlebuddy.

Again, during your "break," was she squeezeboxing another customer? And do you share serious commitment titles like boyfriend/girlfriend with your friends?

What did you do to change and did she acknowledge it? Do you feel like she still considers you fuckable?

But blowjobs speak louder than words. And breakups are a sign to hit the gym and bang new people.

Waiting is a bad idea. Don't do that. She either puts it in her mouth or you're moving out, Billy Joel.

Those are her options. Life is too short to post on forums about not getting laid by your girlfriend.

 

Plan9, the ID of TFP since 2005.

 

2005? Which dipshit are we talking about?

 

I agree with all my much-more experienced brethren above. You've become her cuddle-bitch, not her man. Man the fuck up, grow a pair, get yourself some strange pussy.

 

Have you always talked like this or just since you got married?

I feel like old Lucifer was more like Martian.

You know, ruthless but so smooth.