Bachelor Party?

Well, I'm to be married this summer and have yet to decide on a bachelor party, and to be honest, I'm not sure if I really want one.

I'm not exactly Mr. Social, so I've never really liked hanging out in large groups and my invite list is 14 people. More than half of these people live out of state, some halfway across the country, and a couple of them I don't really even know. I'm thinking a big "party" is going to be something I won't really enjoy. There's going to be my fiancee's family and my family involved, so no strippers or drink-till-you-puke events. I did think of a few ideas I may like to do, but there's some sort of logistical issue with everything I can think of. Plus, the group is so big, and the personalities diverse enough, there will be people who won't enjoy themselves no matter what we do.

I'm starting to get pressured in to picking something and it sounds like people are expecting something big. I'm not worried about it, really. I don't really care if I have a party or not. I'm not a huge party goer, but I've always liked just hanging out with a few people and having some beers. I'm starting to think everyone else is more worried about this thing than I am.

Is it okay to say no bachelor party? Maybe give an option to hang out for a few beers sometime in a low-key setting without all the pressure of a "party"?

 

I've heard of couples who have opted to do something as a couple rather than separately. The invite list usually involves her close friends and his close friends. No family, except maybe those who are in the bridal party. A few suites at a nice hotel are procured, a good dinner and a club later. They get smashed, make a lot of silly and inappropriate toasts, and all take a cab back to the hotel for the after party.

I've haven't heard any complaints.

 

I've thought about a baseball game, but there's a couple non-sports guys, and one who's a big rival fan. While my team plays his team on a weekend, I've heard from others that you don't want to be there for one of those games. Fights and general obnoxious fans all over the place (and knowing the guy in my party, he would be one of them) tend to ruin a relaxing good time for the rest of us.

Golf has entered my mind as well, and I do seem to remember being split up for other bachelor parties. Best ball isn't a bad idea, especially since there's at least one complete non-golfer in the group.

I'm thinking just hanging out and grilling with some beer, but I live in a condo and we'd all be hanging out in the parking lot. And I don't want to volunteer someone else's house for it.

The other thing is when I start to get pressured into something like this, I tend to push the other way for no other reason than to rock the boat. It's like a knee jerk reaction, and many times, I may actually have wanted to do it in the first place. But, when I have all these people saying do this, my reaction will be one of "nope, screw you, I'm doing what I want". I also have classes plus a full time job, so this isn't exactly my #1 priority at the moment.

Guess I'll keep thinking, I've been given a time limit of another week.

 

Good point, Borla. What say he?

 

My best man is my father, who lives halfway across the country.

 

Dad. The sentimental pick.

Stay home, rent pornos, and get drunk?

JK. What's your budget for this bachelor party? I mean, could you afford to say, go to Las Vegas like Plan9 did?

 

He's invited, but it's always up in the air if he can make it out. While I'm sure he would make every attempt to make it, the way my family works, we wouldn't really know until he's physically on a plane.

As far as advice on what to do, we're too much alike. I'll get the same default answer I usually give ; "I don't care, do whatever you want".

My family (myself included) can be too laid back at times lol.

 

Would you prefer to forgo a bachelor party? It's not like you have to. It doesn't sound as if anyone would be disappointed if you didn't have one. What does you fiancee say?

 

My son's bachelor party began early in the morning with a round of golf. Then into Chicago for a Cubs game. Then a casino (but not very long) on the way home.

It was everything he wanted to do.

The key being it was what HE wanted. Find something you like and do it. Maybe just dinner at your favorite restaurant, or go to a club that has live music, or a comedy club. Bowling. Miniature golf. Whatever. It is your party.

 

No real interest in Vegas. Even if I was, I don't think it would be in the budget. We're fairly low key around here. The girls are doing a baseball game and I thought about doing a joint one for that.

I also have another idea involving a vintage motorcycle race I already plan on going to. Perhaps I could just turn that into a bachelor party.

 

If everyone hasn't already figured out, I'm pretty indecisive. I usually can't make up my mind until it's too late and end up doing nothing. And more often than not, I'm okay with that too lol.

 

Damn! Beat me to it!
--- merged: Mar 5, 2012 at 9:27 PM ---

Your fiancee probably loves that about you right now.

I give her a year and she won't find it so endearing.

 

The guy who organised mine took us go-karting, then onto a pub for a few beers. Nice and relaxed, everyone pays for themselves and one hell of a hangover to follow.

My brother (for his) had dinner with just me, our other brother and our dad at a Belgian Beer place - I *think* we went close to drinking the (considerable) menu