Adoption...

I'm a huge supporter of adoption, I think its perfect to give someone a home to live in that they wouldn't really receive it otherwise. Its not that I wouldn't have a child from my own seed but I would definitely would adopt a child as well as one of my own. More specifically, I would adopt a special needs child in the way of blind, deaf... etc. Although this is all future plans because I would need to have a partner in crime for such a decision. Moving beyond that restriction, and having a partner thats receptive to adopting or fostering a child... I've talked about this before with an ex and we both agreed it would be something good to do. I would be up for the experience and I know its something I would have to put a lot of time and effort into but I think the reward is totally worth it for the child.

I really don't know anyone that has been adopted, I know my uncle (that I really don't know) has an adopted son because he has three daughters and wanted a son. And it seems (from what my grandparents say) that the kid is pretty good and that he was adopted at an older age, so it seems to be working for them which is awesome and I want to continue the trend with the family. I do have an old friend that I was somewhat "close" to but not so much anymore... she was adopted and her mom was a drug addict and the friend had some attitude problems, more so anger problems. She found out she had a sister as well which she was excited for but I digress, it didn't seem to outwardly affect her but maybe psychologically it created some anger which was projected outwardly. I thought I was more of an escape of someone to talk to, she lived in Washington, at the time, I was in Ohio.... at the time I was an angry person as well so we'd blow off steam that way as well... I do see the anger as a potential challenge and the eventual discussion of telling them that they're adopted might be a challenge as well.

I'm curious what everyones experience is on either side of the story... whether being adopted, adopting or giving up a child for adoption. Also, has anyone adopted a child from another part of the world? I was thinking of adopting from China for a special needs child.... but thats after exploring any options for a child locally. What about becoming a foster house? I'm really looking for personal stories from experience... What other considerations should I have that I haven't looked into already.

Here's the link that prompted this thread....
Russia Passes US Adoption Ban - Yahoo! News

its not totally related but I do like the level the Russians are going to to retaliate to the US, really classy...

 

Two of my nephews are adopted, both privately through a lawyer; the older boy's birth mother lived for a short time with the adoptive parents before he was born and my sister-in-law was a birth coach for one (I forget which). Both were brought home as newborns and have known from the first of their origins. Only one ongoing problem came about: The birth grandfather of the second boy wouldn't "let go", sending letters, gifts, etc. until my brother-in-law threatened him with charges of harassment and/or stalking. I don't know if either has "issues" regarding their adoptions, although the older boy is a quiet loner who has never worked or gone past the 11th grade, despite his extremely high intelligence.
My husband and I started the adoption process many years ago with our eyes on Korean adoption. It's a long, drawn-out process to say the least. After your application and references are reviewed, you have one or two "home studies", in which social workers visit your house, interview you and maybe friends or neighbors. Even with private adoption, you still have to go through home studies. The first agency we went to did not want us going through any fertility treatments while working with them. It was 1988 and, during the Seoul Olympics, South Korea suspended all US adoptions, so along with the agency's other restrictions, we didn't pursue it. A second agency, Holt here in NJ, had no such stipulations and, after the suspension was rescinded, we worked with them until I got pregnant. Korean adoptions from application to baby in arms can take up to two years (all your reports go back to the agency in Korea for review and approvals) and the babies are not newborn-the youngest someone might get is 5-6 months old by the time they arrive. Babies that are not healthy might come quicker, but not be much younger.
Korea didn't require the adoptive parents to visit the country but other countries might, most notably in Central and South America. It's a very expensive process as well. Every application, every home study, every step requires payment. Then there are lawyers and possibly more social workers after the child arrives. Twenty years ago it would have cost us about 10 grand; I have no idea what it would be now.
The best thing for anyone thinking about adopting is to study, study, study. Find out everything about whatever country or region you're considering in terms of their laws and traditions. If you go the agency route, some may have introduction nights that you would attend to find out how things go, talk to other parents and ask questions of the representatives of that agency.
If you want to adopt a child with special needs, I would seriously consider volunteering somewhere that caters to those children. See what you're capable of handling, what your patience level is and it will tell you in your heart what you want.

 

My good friend from College was adopted from Java. She's very well adjusted and always knew she was adopted. She's javanese, her parents are white and her sister is black (also adopted). E has done some things to connect to her roots and culture in Java, but has never visited. I don't know if she's ever really wanted to.

I want to adopt and have always thought that even before knowing that it may be my only option to be a mother. I have "problems" in my reproductive area. Not totally out of the question, but very unlikely. Also add in that I shouldn't carry a child with the MS medication I am on as it is pretty harsh. I'm not even going to think about trying to use science to help me produce my own minions when there are so many children out there without an overlord like myself.

It has crossed my mind to take in a child with a disability but don't know if I could with a disability of my own. My mother was a special education aide and I volunteered in her classroom. I do have a special place in my heart for children with Down Syndrome and Autism. If I met a child like this that needed me, I would probably take him or her in.

 

My brother kind of has special needs, he is deaf but I never saw it as a problem. He was always my brother and we were always getting in trouble and I never perceived him as any different than I. But thats because I was raised in a competitive family... He excelled at everything he wanted to.

Haha.... minion and overlord....

I have thought about Autism, Down Syndrome... etc and I wouldn't think it as something that would bother me as well... my old roommate (now neighbor) takes care of a Autistic boy for the last 10+ years and I've put in time to help her when I lived with her and I've seen the effort that is needed, plus the options that are made for people who raise kids with special needs. Which is one of the reasons why I think I could be more equipped or mentally prepared for such an undertaking.

 

I used to have an aunt who had a baby out of wedlock. At 18 months she was forced, through pressure, to give the baby up for adoption through the church. Part of the rules was, that if she saw her daughter and new family in church, she was to blank them and keep on walking. No contact. It helped to break her. Her daughters new parents took the child to Ireland, and she came back here when her birth mother had been found dead in her apartment - been there for three months - psych out patient.
Her daughter had to find what her life had become after she was dead. The child was not given up willingly. One hopes things have changed with the times......
No offence, but when people tell me they are adopting dogs from Greece, Spain, Ireland etc, I think they should be helping those already here, already in need, there are so many, why import more and leave another native dog to get the needle in the arm because pounds are full etc. I know they dont do that with kids, but taking a child from care means you are freeing a place for another child who needs it.
Perhaps you could ready yourself by learning sign, then you would be, perhaps, the best qualified suitable home when a child comes up who needs one. Are there other skills that might come in handy that you could pick up? Could you bear it that sometimes those with the greatest most urgent needs are often not long for this world? Sad world. Nice that a villager is looking around for a child/children who may be in dire need of help.