Gun Humor Thread

[KirStang]

Figure I'd start a thread about gun humor.

I'll start with:

You know you're a gun nut when....

1.) You get excited talking to friends about free float barrels.
2.) You get mad when people say "clip" instead of "magazine."
3.) You revel in pointing out movie firearm inconsistencies (THAT AIMPOINT'S ON BACKWARDS!...see below)

4.) You sit in front of the TV idly doing mag changes.
5.) You can quote Heller verbatim.
6.) You remember calibers and zero distances but not family members' birthdays.
7.) You participate in John Moses Browning vs. Gaston Glock debates.
8.) The LAPD came to your house for more firepower during the North Hollywood Shootout.
9.) You drooled at the 20mm NTW-20 in District 9.

Feel free to add more gun humor.

[KirStang]

Re SHTF AR15:

SHTF when a tornado hit my neighborhood and we spent 6 hours chainsawing our way 200 yards to the pavement. Didn't need to fight a running gun battle to get that done, a Stihl Farm boss served better.

I don't see the Japanese having shootouts looting shops.

Katrina, 150,000 people jumped in their SUV's and motored up the pike until they ran out of gas. It's the few left behind who had some problems. That was downtown. The rest was pretty quiet except for those illegal gun searches.

Americans are currently digging out of some violent storm damage in NC, haven't heard of running gun battles there. What they need are chain saws, propane powered cookstoves, lights, and generators.

SHTF guns? Send yours, they desperately need them, right? Not. It's a fantasy situation, Americans don't have a friggin clue. The knowledge of real SHTF died with the last Civil War veteran. If you don't CCW, SHTF really doesn't fit in your day.

Got an action plan to deal with a random workplace shooter, natural catastrophe, or bombing, fine, please relate how an AR you carry daily fits in. The End Of The World As We Know It isn't a highly likely prospect, and guns aren't the first choice of response in a lot of cases.

Drunk drivers kill more people than guns. If we all carried an AR, would that stop? Wearing your seatbelt would do more.

SHTF is an internet fantasy. Life comes at you where you can't do anything about it.

[KirStang]

You're named after a .45ACP SMG and commented in my Gun Humor thread.

I like you, new guy.

[citadel]

Where's the quote in post #2 from?

[KirStang]

Originally Posted by citadel

Where's the quote in post #2 from?

Colt vs DPMS - Page 2 - TheFiringLine Forums

[citadel]

Originally Posted by KirStang

Colt vs DPMS - Page 2 - TheFiringLine Forums

Adorable. I guess people living in Darfur aren't in a SHTF situation then?

[KirStang]

Therein lies the distinction....they're in Sudan...

You'll likely use your beans and bandaids long before you use your bullets. That was the point.

[citadel]

A few gems from the Simpsons:

Moe : Yeah, so last night I was closing up the bar when some young punk comes in and tries to stick me up.

Sideshow Mel : Whatever did you do moe?!

Moe : Well it coulda been a real ugly situation but...I managed to shoot him in the spine.

*crowd claps and cheers*

Moe : Yeah!! I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp!

and

Homer: Oh, I don’t need anything like that… yet… Just give me my gun.

Clerk: I’m sorry, but the law requires a five-day waiting period. We’ve got to run a background check.

Homer: Five days? But I’m mad now! I’d kill you if I had my gun.

Clerk: Yeah, well you don’t.

I appreciate humor that's introspective.