Question about my guy materbating? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Leafs_Fan · 07-24-2005, 08:30 PM

Awhile back when we had first started dating, my bf made some comment about how he was materbating to pictures of one of his sisters friends, who he had fooled around with once in the past. I got mad, not about him looking at porn and materbating, because I could care less, and I do the same thing. But I was mad about WHAT he was looking at. He apologized and promised never to do it again, and that it would always just be porn(ie people he didnt know). Awhile when I was looking for a site i had previously visted in the history(honest! i dont spy on him or anything like that) I noticed that in the middle of a few porn sites, was a site where a friend of his' sisters msn space photo gallery. Now ive noticed it in the drop down menu a couple times recently as well.

Im just wondering if any guys can tell me, does it mean anything? Im sure it doesnt, but it still kinda makes me wonder why he needs to look at pictures of people he knows and such, when there are tones of hot porn stars out there with pictures(and that show more for that matter lol). How much does the porn your looking at really mean? Or is it always just nothing, and forgotten quickly.

JoseFlanders · 07-24-2005, 08:45 PM

someotherguy · 07-24-2005, 08:46 PM

I know that personally sometimes I find it much more pleasant to think about someone I actually know when I am masterbating then just some porn star. There is something about it that makes it almost forbidden so it can be very arousing. That doesn't mean that he wants to be with her at all. Like I know when I was in High School I found it more pleasant to think about someone in class than to just get on the net and look at porn. Even though when I was in school with them I had no desire whatsoever to get to know them. Does that make any sense?

tiltedbc · 07-24-2005, 08:59 PM

Does it mean anything? Not really. The most intense fantasies I have are of girls I ALMOST slept with but didn't, or just had a one-night stand with. I rarely think about girlfriends that I had for years... which is strange but I guess I "had my fill" and don't have to imagine anything.

Online porn is artificial and repetitive (just my opinion). Not only do they leave their shoes on, they rarely kiss or show real emotion. Memories of your past become amplified as you get older and for myself, it's those old love situations that turn me on the most. There's a personal connection and time makes the fantasy better than it really might have been.

It's a bad idea to get upset about this. He'll just take it into the bathroom with him and be afraid to be honest in the future. Getting upset about something that isn't really happening doesn't make a lot of sense either unless.... he wants to still hookup with this girl, which he most likely wouldn't do for risk of destroying the fantasy.

I never look or think about porn when I'm masterbating. I enjoy it as eye-candy or as a way to get aroused, but it's always girls that I've known in the past that are in my mind when I'm rubbing one out. Chances are, in the future your bf will be thinking about you like this rather than porn. So give him some good memories.

Robert_XX · 07-24-2005, 10:05 PM

I think the chances are you have nothing to worry about. I'm married but I masturbate while fantasising about having sex all sorts of people I know. The important thing is that I know they are fantasies and fantasies only. These are not things I would want to happen in real life. The other thing is for me, it is not a substitute for real sex, it's just a different activity, just like playing a football computer game is not as good as doing the 'real thing' it's just something you can do on your own, at your own convenience, and switch it on and off to suit yourself and it's actually a different kind of enjoyment you get out of it.

So using the picture of the person in question is barely any different to using your imagination, although I admit it would be a bit creepy if you caught someone actually doing it.

mandy · 07-25-2005, 02:24 AM

my bf has been gone for the month now, working away.And i have only masturbated once in the time that he wasnt here(can you imagine how horny i am right now?) and that was when we did it together one night during phone sex.

and only last night i found out that he masturbated a couple of times while he was away. and i was disappointed that he did.

the thing is that ...for me it's more emotional than physical. now, i dont know bout other peeps but i only masturbate when im with him and when he asks me to.maybe i'm just strange in that way but i felt that in a way , i was saving myself till he got back and thought that he was doing the same.

i dont that that he was thinking about me while he was doing it, its just the fact that he did.

i hope you see what im trying to get at here because normally i'd beable to tell you exactly what i think now i just seem to have writers block

i'll get back to that one...

Johnny Pyro · 07-25-2005, 04:44 AM

I wouldn't worry about it. I masturbate to almost every female I know. Its just makes it more interesting. Its just fantasy. I used to masturbate to all my (ex) girlfriends friends, but I would never cheat on her because I loved her and she didn't deserve that.

What really confuses me is why would he tell you he did that? I think he should of kept that to himself. I did. There is no reason he should of told you that. I mean be honest in a relationship, but what did he think your reaction would be.....positive? Dumb move on his part.

I totally understand you getting mad. If my girlfriend told me she masturbates to her brothers friend. I would be pissed!

Martel · 07-25-2005, 05:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mandy

my bf has been gone for the month

...

and only last night i found out that he masturbated a couple of times while he was away. and i was disappointed that he did.

No offense, but I think expecting a guy to go a whole month without sexual release of any kind is a very unrealistic expectation. It doesn't mean that he isn't excited as hell to be coming home to you, and it doesn't mean that he loves you any less or wants to have sex with you any less. It just means that he got so freakin worked up that he couldn't stand it anymore (from thinking about you, perhaps) and had to take care of himself or else wouldn't have been able to function. It sounds like you're not familiar with that feeling, but I assure you most guys are no stranger to it.

I'd like to add that perhaps the fact that he only masturbated a couple of times over the course of the whole month should indicate that he WAS really trying to restrain himself for your sake!

tooth · 07-25-2005, 07:01 AM

He is hung up on this girl to some degree, if he has masturbated to her picture. Don't automatically assume he wants to be with her, but it is obvious that this girl is invading his thoughts. Regardless, if it bothers you it should be addressed.

Jinn · 07-25-2005, 07:29 AM

People draw the line at sex, because it's so intimate, but taken in a different light this is much clearer.

If a girl is a horrible bitch to me, and I "fantasize" about beating the hell out of her, it doesn't mean I'm going to. If someone cheats me out in a business deal, and I "fantasize" about burning down their house, it doesn't mean I'm going to. If my parents had pissed me off, and I "fantasized" that they just die, it doesn't mean that I want that to actually come to fruition. I say "fantasize" to keep the language of the post, but it is merely a passing thought. There's a definite line between thought and action that we clearly recognize, and its present in thoughts about sex as well. I can see how, as a girl, you are concerned that he is "desiring" this other girl, but that is likely not the case. If you've ever thought about another man sexually, whether your hand was anywhere near your equipment or not, you've gone through the same process. "Man, they're attractive. Wonder what it would be like to have sex with them?" I agree that getting angry about it will further drive him inward, and he will likely be less honest in the future. The only thing you should be concerned about, I believe, is whether he has the moral fortitude to draw the line at fantasy and not cross over into action.

guthmund · 07-25-2005, 07:40 AM

It's more exciting to see a woman you know naked than some random model.

I mean, Sophie, Ashley and Erica are exciting, but given the choice, I'd much rather see my next door neighbor sans clothing. There's a bit of the 'forbidden fruit' tinge to it that makes that much more exciting.

I wouldn't be too worried about it. I seriously doubt anything is going to come of it. You can't police what he fantasizes about, you can't police what he looks at and you certainly can't police what he jerks off to. Any attempt to do so is only going to cause him to resent you.

TM875 · 07-25-2005, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leafs_Fan

How much does the porn your looking at really mean?

To put it simply:

Hotness of picturing people you know naked > hotness of total strangers naked.

There's nothing to worry here. Some men prefer "real" women (hence the abundence and popularity of girl-next-door amatuer porn sites) to professional models. Since this is somebody that he knows in the flesh-and-blood world, it makes it all that much more real.

One more note: Remember that this was a girl that he was once with. Now, I completely hate my ex girlfriend with every nanoimpulse of my brain, but I still fantasize about her nude. There's no chance I'll go back to her, just like there's no chance your guy will ever end up with this girl.

The.Lunatic · 07-25-2005, 09:44 AM

Hmm.

hottness of people you know > hottness of people you don't know true

I imagine thinking about him doing that to pictures of people you know doesn't exactly make you feel like the apple of his eye.

Bust his balls about it. Tell him she looks like the kinda girl who has herpes or something so that he get nice mental images like that when he trys to whack it.

tenchi069 · 07-25-2005, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The.Lunatic

Hmm.

hottness of people you know > hottness of people you don't know true

I imagine thinking about him doing that to pictures of people you know doesn't exactly make you feel like the apple of his eye.

Bust his balls about it. Tell him she looks like the kinda girl who has herpes or something so that he get nice mental images like that when he trys to whack it.

That would probably work, but I suggest doing a more mature way of going about it. Rather than doing as The.Lunatic suggested, you could try the complete opposite and rather than resorting to high-school like behavior, just sit down and have a ration conversation with him and tell him why you feel the way that you feel. If the two of you cannot seem to get on the same page after all the cards are out, then you should probably rethink your relationship with him.

The.Lunatic · 07-25-2005, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tenchi069

That would probably work, but I suggest doing a more mature way of going about it. Rather than doing as The.Lunatic suggested, you could try the complete opposite and rather than resorting to high-school like behavior, just sit down and have a ration conversation with him and tell him why you feel the way that you feel. If the two of you cannot seem to get on the same page after all the cards are out, then you should probably rethink your relationship with him.

SEX != complicated

Relationships = complicated this doesn't have anything to do with their relationship this is him and a sextual habit that can be broken.

You've just got to figure out how.

for non-nerds != means not equal in programming terms.

Suave · 07-25-2005, 12:14 PM

Unless something happens to make you suspicious, I say don't worry about it. As far as we know, it's just a fantasy, and most people have some kind of fantasy to add variety to their sexual experiences.

Lunatic: If you have to break someone's habits to be with them, go find someone else to be with.

tenchi069 · 07-25-2005, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The.Lunatic

SEX != complicated

Relationships = complicated this doesn't have anything to do with their relationship this is him and a sextual habit that can be broken.

You've just got to figure out how.

for non-nerds != means not equal in programming terms.

Actually, according to the post it does have something to do the relationship because HIS behavior is affecting HER. It is up to BOTH people in the relationship to discuss what is bothering them and to try to rectify it.
If you want to use equations, then i'll use variables.
It is not up to person A to fix person B. Person A needs to tell person B, i have a problem with X ( where X = behavior ). Then it is up to person B to change out of B's free will. If B does not want to change X, then it is time for A to rethink being in a relationship with B.

To equate this to my personal life. My wife tells me if something I do is bothering her. I probably don't know it is bothering her until she tells me. At the time I find out I figure out how much that behavior means to me. If it is something I can compromise (i.e. not smoking cigars in the car ) then I stop and the problem is fixed. Were it something like wanting to have a guys night out ( i.e. my freedom ) then I would tell her I need my space and ask her to concede on that. That is productive compromise. Playing head games and manipulating is not.

Sugarmouse · 07-25-2005, 01:15 PM

even though i think about numerous ppl when i get myself off..this is different..he is maybe, planning to and this girl.as someone said before..sorry cant find who it were now, is invading his thoughts
dont gt me wrongly it probably is nt anything and he jus finds her attractive as he would a porn gurl, previous posters have made some very good points as to why you shouldnt worry -but personally????i would be pissed!

JMHO-but i would question him and hope he would be reasurring with his answers

The.Lunatic · 07-25-2005, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tenchi069

Actually, according to the post it does have something to do the relationship because HIS behavior is affecting HER. It is up to BOTH people in the relationship to discuss what is bothering them and to try to rectify it.
If you want to use equations, then i'll use variables.
It is not up to person A to fix person B. Person A needs to tell person B, i have a problem with X ( where X = behavior ). Then it is up to person B to change out of B's free will. If B does not want to change X, then it is time for A to rethink being in a relationship with B.

To equate this to my personal life. My wife tells me if something I do is bothering her. I probably don't know it is bothering her until she tells me. At the time I find out I figure out how much that behavior means to me. If it is something I can compromise (i.e. not smoking cigars in the car ) then I stop and the problem is fixed. Were it something like wanting to have a guys night out ( i.e. my freedom ) then I would tell her I need my space and ask her to concede on that. That is productive compromise. Playing head games and manipulating is not.

Thats what she DID! she asked him to stop because it bothered her. Then she became super spy and is jumping to conclusions (although likely correct conclusions) that he's spanking the monkey to her again.

My advice quit snooping! ignorance is bliss some day people will learn the clear history button

Mantus · 07-25-2005, 09:28 PM

From my personal male perspective I would be worried if I were you. Guys can and will slip if given the chance. If he is still in contact with this girl things might get out of hand unless you are absolutely sure she has no intrest in your boyfriend.

Jealousy can be a dangerous thing though. Tread carefully, less you cause much adoo about a little thing.

Once again from my perspective and experience, this girl will not be a direct threat to your relationship but she can influence the way your guy thinks about sex. He might start expecting things of you that he sees the girl do. In the end this may lead to sexual disatisfaction, even if it's all in his head.

Leafs_Fan · 07-26-2005, 09:22 PM

Thanks guys

Definatly made me feel better about the situation. I wasnt planning on confronting him about it, or starting any sort of a fight about it, was just kind of curious about how much what a guy looks at means. For girls its a little different, because while I like porn, I could definatly never masterbate to the picture of some guy a know. Id feel very guilty about it yada yada.

Sugarmouse · 07-26-2005, 10:46 PM

is this over then are you goingto leave it?hope it is resolved one way or another.....and i do agree lunatic... about history buttons.

pppg · 07-30-2005, 09:01 AM

My wife knows that I do sometimes so she decided to take a pro-active solution. I came home one day and she had downloaded pictures of her from our camera that she took when I was away. Now she knows that if I'm doing it when she's not around that I'm looking at her. The fact that she did that turned me on beyond belief.

raeanna74 · 07-30-2005, 04:53 PM

Why don't you just talk to him about it?

I felt uncomfortable about hubby looking at pics at first and about him fantacising about his highschool crush. I told him that I felt like I could never compare to those other women and was afraid he enjoyed their pictures more than actually having sex with me. His answer settled all my fears. Don't attack but tell him how it makes you 'feel'. Hubby's reply was (cliff notes version) - That I could never compare to the fantasy and to the "fixed" photos he looked at. That Nothing could be the real thing. That the fantasy about his crush somewhat was enticing because of it's being "forbidden" in that it will never happen.

I really doubt he wants to cheat on you, even with a former playmate. If you talk to him about your discomfort it will help your relationship and probably calm your worries better than anything we can say here.

Good Luck.

07-24-2005, 08:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
Leafs_Fan Upright	Question about my guy materbating? Awhile back when we had first started dating, my bf made some comment about how he was materbating to pictures of one of his sisters friends, who he had fooled around with once in the past. I got mad, not about him looking at porn and materbating, because I could care less, and I do the same thing. But I was mad about WHAT he was looking at. He apologized and promised never to do it again, and that it would always just be porn(ie people he didnt know). Awhile when I was looking for a site i had previously visted in the history(honest! i dont spy on him or anything like that) I noticed that in the middle of a few porn sites, was a site where a friend of his' sisters msn space photo gallery. Now ive noticed it in the drop down menu a couple times recently as well. Im just wondering if any guys can tell me, does it mean anything? Im sure it doesnt, but it still kinda makes me wonder why he needs to look at pictures of people he knows and such, when there are tones of hot porn stars out there with pictures(and that show more for that matter lol). How much does the porn your looking at really mean? Or is it always just nothing, and forgotten quickly.

07-24-2005, 08:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
JoseFlanders Upright	stuff As Last edited by JoseFlanders; 03-15-2008 at 09:45 PM.. Reason: stuff

07-24-2005, 08:59 PM	#4 (permalink)
tiltedbc Crazy Location: BC, Canada	Does it mean anything? Not really. The most intense fantasies I have are of girls I ALMOST slept with but didn't, or just had a one-night stand with. I rarely think about girlfriends that I had for years... which is strange but I guess I "had my fill" and don't have to imagine anything. Online porn is artificial and repetitive (just my opinion). Not only do they leave their shoes on, they rarely kiss or show real emotion. Memories of your past become amplified as you get older and for myself, it's those old love situations that turn me on the most. There's a personal connection and time makes the fantasy better than it really might have been. It's a bad idea to get upset about this. He'll just take it into the bathroom with him and be afraid to be honest in the future. Getting upset about something that isn't really happening doesn't make a lot of sense either unless.... he wants to still hookup with this girl, which he most likely wouldn't do for risk of destroying the fantasy. I never look or think about porn when I'm masterbating. I enjoy it as eye-candy or as a way to get aroused, but it's always girls that I've known in the past that are in my mind when I'm rubbing one out. Chances are, in the future your bf will be thinking about you like this rather than porn. So give him some good memories. Last edited by tiltedbc; 07-24-2005 at 09:02 PM.. Reason: grammar

07-25-2005, 04:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
Johnny Pyro Hey Now! Location: Massachusetts (Redneck, white boy town. I hate it here.)	I wouldn't worry about it. I masturbate to almost every female I know. Its just makes it more interesting. Its just fantasy. I used to masturbate to all my (ex) girlfriends friends, but I would never cheat on her because I loved her and she didn't deserve that. What really confuses me is why would he tell you he did that? I think he should of kept that to himself. I did. There is no reason he should of told you that. I mean be honest in a relationship, but what did he think your reaction would be.....positive? Dumb move on his part. I totally understand you getting mad. If my girlfriend told me she masturbates to her brothers friend. I would be pissed! __________________ "From delusion lead me to truth, from darkness lead me to light, from death lead me to eternal life. - Sheriff John Wydell Last edited by Johnny Pyro; 07-26-2005 at 02:36 AM..

07-25-2005, 07:29 AM	#10 (permalink)
Jinn Lover - Protector - Teacher Location: Seattle, WA	People draw the line at sex, because it's so intimate, but taken in a different light this is much clearer. If a girl is a horrible bitch to me, and I "fantasize" about beating the hell out of her, it doesn't mean I'm going to. If someone cheats me out in a business deal, and I "fantasize" about burning down their house, it doesn't mean I'm going to. If my parents had pissed me off, and I "fantasized" that they just die, it doesn't mean that I want that to actually come to fruition. I say "fantasize" to keep the language of the post, but it is merely a passing thought. There's a definite line between thought and action that we clearly recognize, and its present in thoughts about sex as well. I can see how, as a girl, you are concerned that he is "desiring" this other girl, but that is likely not the case. If you've ever thought about another man sexually, whether your hand was anywhere near your equipment or not, you've gone through the same process. "Man, they're attractive. Wonder what it would be like to have sex with them?" I agree that getting angry about it will further drive him inward, and he will likely be less honest in the future. The only thing you should be concerned about, I believe, is whether he has the moral fortitude to draw the line at fantasy and not cross over into action. __________________ "I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel

07-24-2005, 08:46 PM	#3 (permalink)
someotherguy Upright	I know that personally sometimes I find it much more pleasant to think about someone I actually know when I am masterbating then just some porn star. There is something about it that makes it almost forbidden so it can be very arousing. That doesn't mean that he wants to be with her at all. Like I know when I was in High School I found it more pleasant to think about someone in class than to just get on the net and look at porn. Even though when I was in school with them I had no desire whatsoever to get to know them. Does that make any sense?

07-24-2005, 10:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
Robert_XX Upright Location: London, UK	I think the chances are you have nothing to worry about. I'm married but I masturbate while fantasising about having sex all sorts of people I know. The important thing is that I know they are fantasies and fantasies only. These are not things I would want to happen in real life. The other thing is for me, it is not a substitute for real sex, it's just a different activity, just like playing a football computer game is not as good as doing the 'real thing' it's just something you can do on your own, at your own convenience, and switch it on and off to suit yourself and it's actually a different kind of enjoyment you get out of it. So using the picture of the person in question is barely any different to using your imagination, although I admit it would be a bit creepy if you caught someone actually doing it.

07-25-2005, 02:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
mandy Addict Location: Port Elizabeth, South Africa	my bf has been gone for the month now, working away.And i have only masturbated once in the time that he wasnt here(can you imagine how horny i am right now?) and that was when we did it together one night during phone sex. and only last night i found out that he masturbated a couple of times while he was away. and i was disappointed that he did. the thing is that ...for me it's more emotional than physical. now, i dont know bout other peeps but i only masturbate when im with him and when he asks me to.maybe i'm just strange in that way but i felt that in a way , i was saving myself till he got back and thought that he was doing the same. i dont that that he was thinking about me while he was doing it, its just the fact that he did. i hope you see what im trying to get at here because normally i'd beable to tell you exactly what i think now i just seem to have writers block i'll get back to that one...

07-25-2005, 07:01 AM	#9 (permalink)
tooth Addict	He is hung up on this girl to some degree, if he has masturbated to her picture. Don't automatically assume he wants to be with her, but it is obvious that this girl is invading his thoughts. Regardless, if it bothers you it should be addressed.

07-25-2005, 07:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	It's more exciting to see a woman you know naked than some random model. I mean, Sophie, Ashley and Erica are exciting, but given the choice, I'd much rather see my next door neighbor sans clothing. There's a bit of the 'forbidden fruit' tinge to it that makes that much more exciting. I wouldn't be too worried about it. I seriously doubt anything is going to come of it. You can't police what he fantasizes about, you can't police what he looks at and you certainly can't police what he jerks off to. Any attempt to do so is only going to cause him to resent you. __________________ No signature. None. Seriously.

07-25-2005, 09:44 AM	#13 (permalink)
The.Lunatic Psycho Location: Somewhere just beyond the realm of sanity...	Hmm. hottness of people you know > hottness of people you don't know true I imagine thinking about him doing that to pictures of people you know doesn't exactly make you feel like the apple of his eye. Bust his balls about it. Tell him she looks like the kinda girl who has herpes or something so that he get nice mental images like that when he trys to whack it. __________________ Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.

07-25-2005, 12:14 PM	#16 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	Unless something happens to make you suspicious, I say don't worry about it. As far as we know, it's just a fantasy, and most people have some kind of fantasy to add variety to their sexual experiences. Lunatic: If you have to break someone's habits to be with them, go find someone else to be with. __________________ "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein "Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato Last edited by Suave; 07-25-2005 at 12:20 PM..

07-25-2005, 01:15 PM	#18 (permalink)
Sugarmouse Insane Location: Preston lancs(i know i know)	even though i think about numerous ppl when i get myself off..this is different..he is maybe, planning to and this girl.as someone said before..sorry cant find who it were now, is invading his thoughts dont gt me wrongly it probably is nt anything and he jus finds her attractive as he would a porn gurl, previous posters have made some very good points as to why you shouldnt worry -but personally????i would be pissed! JMHO-but i would question him and hope he would be reasurring with his answers __________________ Sugarmouse=Festered

07-25-2005, 09:28 PM	#20 (permalink)
Mantus lascivious	From my personal male perspective I would be worried if I were you. Guys can and will slip if given the chance. If he is still in contact with this girl things might get out of hand unless you are absolutely sure she has no intrest in your boyfriend. Jealousy can be a dangerous thing though. Tread carefully, less you cause much adoo about a little thing. Once again from my perspective and experience, this girl will not be a direct threat to your relationship but she can influence the way your guy thinks about sex. He might start expecting things of you that he sees the girl do. In the end this may lead to sexual disatisfaction, even if it's all in his head.

07-26-2005, 09:22 PM	#21 (permalink)
Leafs_Fan Upright	Thanks guys Definatly made me feel better about the situation. I wasnt planning on confronting him about it, or starting any sort of a fight about it, was just kind of curious about how much what a guy looks at means. For girls its a little different, because while I like porn, I could definatly never masterbate to the picture of some guy a know. Id feel very guilty about it yada yada.

07-26-2005, 10:46 PM	#22 (permalink)
Sugarmouse Insane Location: Preston lancs(i know i know)	is this over then are you goingto leave it?hope it is resolved one way or another.....and i do agree lunatic... about history buttons. __________________ Sugarmouse=Festered

07-30-2005, 09:01 AM	#23 (permalink)
pppg Crazy	My wife knows that I do sometimes so she decided to take a pro-active solution. I came home one day and she had downloaded pictures of her from our camera that she took when I was away. Now she knows that if I'm doing it when she's not around that I'm looking at her. The fact that she did that turned me on beyond belief.

07-30-2005, 04:53 PM	#24 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Why don't you just talk to him about it? I felt uncomfortable about hubby looking at pics at first and about him fantacising about his highschool crush. I told him that I felt like I could never compare to those other women and was afraid he enjoyed their pictures more than actually having sex with me. His answer settled all my fears. Don't attack but tell him how it makes you 'feel'. Hubby's reply was (cliff notes version) - That I could never compare to the fantasy and to the "fixed" photos he looked at. That Nothing could be the real thing. That the fantasy about his crush somewhat was enticing because of it's being "forbidden" in that it will never happen. I really doubt he wants to cheat on you, even with a former playmate. If you talk to him about your discomfort it will help your relationship and probably calm your worries better than anything we can say here. Good Luck. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.