My first time soon..
 

Hey, i have been a member for a little while, but i mostly just read the posts, don't really give much input. But i actually have a question for once.

My girlfriend and i have decided we want to have sex, which she already has, once before, but i am a virgin. I'm a little...well..nervous... so i'd kinda enjoy any pointers, or tips on what to do. Or how to start off... i don't know, just anything constuctive would be helpful please.

-thanks

Don't forget to keep safe.

Just do it and learn, the most fun comes from learning.
Best advice is 'be safe' you do not want to worry about STDS and babies.

Chances are it will be quick for you, so don't worry about that. Use your hands, and if you want your mouth .

The first time I had sex, we were locked in a room for at least 5 hours. I ended up being quick 3 times :o .

Just relax, and don't drink any beer etc.

Think about about slow you should thrust...and half that. Take your time. Enjoy it. It might be a little quick, but it should also be memorable.

If you two have a good emotional bond there's nothing to be nervous about, because there's no such thing as "getting it wrong." It's really all about discovering intimate expression - start slow and just do what comes natural. Everything that comes before and after the orgasm (yours and/or hers) is at least as important as the orgasm itself.
The point is, don't be brainwashed by the porn you've seen - that's a different kind of sex.

Just relax and give yourselves permission to do it badly at first.

what ratbastid said.
don't expect the first time to be wonderful. make sure you both understand its going to not be so good and to do it more later anyway, you'll both get better.

keep it real, just not too real

if she's comfortable probably a good idea to warm up the actual act as much as you can.

and, ya, this is definately one of those things where you get alot better with practice, especially if you can be with her a number of times and learn from one time to the next.

best of luck and remember to enjoy it

To expand a bit on what wombatman said, yes thrust in VERY slowly - espically since this is one of her first times. Go for the forplay for as long as is comfortable because forplay serves to prepare both of your bodies (moistening, etc.), not just to 'get in the mood'. Put on your rubber, and go in slowly. The first thrust should only go in about half way - most of her most sensitive nerve endings are near the entrance, not the back. Only speed up when she gives you the O.K. If you are starting to feel the moment comin for you, and you realize that it's only been like 38 seconds (which is totally normal), slow down the thrusts again, and think about something that isn't that sexy (sadwiches, wrestling, cars, politics, Christopher Walken, etc.). It might buy you some extra time.

When you do blow your load, it's gonna be nice for both of you (woman>hand).

Note: if it is starting to feel awkward, say something. If you're a funny person, say something funny. If you're a caring person, say something nice about her. It might also get her to start being more talkative about what she likes.

hmm
 

the thinking thing... whenever i have had oral before, i could never keep focused on anything other than what was happeneing, to try and pro-long my orgasm, i've even tried thinking about food, or that one commerical for 7-up with all the truckers in the bathing suits on the beach... it didn't help much :-(

I dont think there is many other things to say really..

Just relax, *make sure to use a condom* and take it slow.

Fornication makes the Baby Jesus cry.
Just remember that. Always does the trick for me if I'm trying not to come. Especially the part about the baby having a full beard. Really distracting.

Anyway, Keep in mind there still might be residual hymenal tissue hanging out in there. So even if you do take it slow it still might hurt and she still might bleed. Lubricant! Water based! Oil based lubricant does bad things to latex. Inspect all parts before using. Wear proper safety and personal protective equipment. Attempting somersaults could result in serious injury or death.

Don't let your expectations get in the way of having fun. Sex is probably one of the most overrated things in a teenage virgin's mind.

And try Backwards Cowboy as soon as possible.

My advice:-

1. Use a condom! For safety and it will also help you to last longer.
2. Don't expect it to be "great" the first time.
3. Do it somewhere private, so you won't be disturbed.
3. Make sure you have plenty of time. That way you have a good chance of having your second and third times only minutes from when you had your first!

Most importantly though, enjoy the wonderful learning experience. It really is spectacular.

Like others have said take your time, breathe, and don't worry so much about the intercourse part. You know that comes at the end, but you should take your time kissing and touching, and pleasing her. I think when you're making love to someone, it's better to be too slow and loving then the other way. Breathe, relax, and have fun.

OH OH OH OH OH....wear a condom!!!! If you want it to last longer, you could but the Climax Control condoms made by Trojan. They numb you a little so that you're not as sensitive and can last longer.

looking back, i think my first partner could have improved the memory a LOT by giving me an orgasm as well. he lasted about 2 seconds and then he was done...which i now realize should have told me more about how our relationship would eventually go!

if you finish before she gets hers, finish her off too--use your hand, your mouth, a toy, whatever. but make your first time a pleasant experience for both of you. selfish lovers are the worst.

This is all very excellent advice. I just have one thing to add...

...many women don't learn to orgasm until they are older, so, don't panic if you can't make her come. The point is to try, not to succeed...at least, not the first time :)

Also, try to do it twice (or again later in the day)! The second time will almost certainly be better because you will last longer, and be more relaxed.

listen. carefully.

first time for me is a sweet memory, but it's marred by some really unfortunate non-communication issues. listen, revise, practice...

sobreity, consent and communication make for sweet fornication.

best of luck.

Do's:
1) Get hyped up for it. Yeah, you'll soon find that sex is only sex, but hey, it's your first time! The more excited you are about it, the more SHE will feel the moment is meaningful; which it is.
2) Be yourself. If you cum too fast, fine. If you can't cum, fine. If you're perfect in bed the very first time, well, you and I share a very rare trait! :) In all seriousness, don't worry. She's not comparing you enough to other people to make her actually care how well you do. She's also in the moment, too, y'know.
3) Wear a condom. You know the deal; check the expiration date, make sure it's not ripped, if it pops put on a new one, hold it close to the shaft when you're pulling out. Maybe even ask her what condoms she prefers; she might pick something out that makes your sexual experience all the more better.

Don'ts:
1) Don't be nervous. Nervousness will just make you even more nervous, and then at the end of it all, you'll feel like you did something wrong. When in fact you did: You were nervous! Just stay calm, and as I said, be yourself.
2) Don't go raw. Your penis is precious. So is your life, as is hers. I'm sure you don't want to be hearing "Waaah waaah" in 9 months, and I'm even more sure you don't want to be another beneficiary of the AIDS walk. Just like everything else in life, think it through before you do. Hey, that rhymes! :)
3) Don't ask her how you're doing. Your confidence is one thing that will drive her yearning for you in and out of the bedroom. You know you're good, so she knows you're good.

One last bonus DO:
1) If the sex is great, let her know. It will be encouragement for her to let you have sex with her again and again and again.

Enjoy! :)

just remember you aint filming a porno so go nice and easy.

As a fellow virgin, I'd like to thank everybody for the advice.

Just remember; it's all mental. Keep yourself in an environment that's calming and relaxing, and focus more on just enjoying the experience with your girlfriend that worrying about being good in bed. Communicate as much as possible, and make sure you both know what works for each other.

Don't wear a condom.

:lol:

Sorry, so many people repeated the same exact thing right after one another, I figured someone should step in and say something different :D

surprised no one has mentioned it but: get tested for std's? check out planned parenthood for anonymous testing.

Some std's are transmitted even without intercourse (eg. herpes, HIV), and even so, it's a good habit to get into when you start becoming sexually active with a new partner. even with a condom, there's no such thing as being too safe, if you ask me.