How do you get over being cheated on?
 

I have been cheated on twice, how have you guys gotten over the nagging fear of being cheated on again?

I agree with bones.

Gaahaha, thank you Bones.

i suggest that. Being cheated on twice my self, it sucks.

all i did to get over it was mope, lots and lots of it. then i realized not all women are as shallow as that and attention starved.

so go out with your friends, bad mouth the ex's, and hit up a titty bar! bring lots of $1's

(EDIT: Misread the thread title)

I don't really have any advice to give since I haven't been there but getting laid sounds like a good approach. Really anything to take your mind off of it would be good.

I wouldn't worry about it. What goes around comes around. And YES, get laid and often.

By the same girl? if so, that's an easy problem to fix...get a new girl.

Otherwise, think: "shit happens" and hope that the next girl you meet is a little more loyal.

I basically concur with everything said above but one thing I would like to add. Above all else remember it is HER problem. She is the one that is going to have problems keeping a man. You just keep on keeping on. Make sure you never make the mistake she made and you will be fine.

I'm with everyone as well. I've been cheated on a couple of times and it's amazing how much a good ol' fashion cot session will help. Enrol the help of some random chick, the bartender, and some Guns-n-Roses when you get home.

If you can, hook up with the girl again when she has another fella... kinda makes you feel karma has been restored

Ahhhh, getting laid.

Is there anything it <i>can't</i> solve?

Impotence

a good book, a ride in the countryside, a trip to another part of the world...

something, anything than just sitting there thinking about it.

Don't blame yourself and then find the right girl. Sounds easy huh but it isn't! I've been in this position before...trust is a hard thing to rebuild. Once you find the right person though she won't ever betray you if she truly loves you. Just don't give up!

I have some experience in this department....
So you got cheated on, you rationalize and search for reasons to justify her actions- bullshit or not, you get over it. Then it happens again and you could just kill yourself. You feel like such a fucking moron for letting yourself feel this way again.
So I'm guessing it's right about here that you tell yourself to never let it happen again. So what's the answer? Well you can hate them but that doesn't really work out, I can tell you that. You can be hyper aware of the signs next time, and see if this new fucking bitch is cheating on you. She'll get tired of it and dump you for treating her like some jealous asshole. I don't know what's going to work but I can tell you what I did...
I painted all the woodwork (baseboards, chair-rails, door jams, etc) in my house, blasted the most terrible country-"my gir just ran off with my dog and now I sure miss my dog" music. Old blues, angry metal. Basically I just silently wallowed while I diligently panted the house. It took me two weeks to finish the house. I charged myself a thousand dollars and spent it on a pretty decent mountain bike. I rode the bike and listened to more poor-me music until I couldn't stand what a whiney one-track-mind pussy I had become. That's when I was ready to change my attitude.

I didn't pull any punches with the next girl and she didn't pull any with me. We're all cool now. I don't even think about it anymore.

Bottom line, you have to make yourself get over it. Gain back your self respect and work from there.

Thanks, I feel better already!!!!

From my experience. Go be alone for awhile, as in not in a relationship. In other words "get laid", then stay away from that lovey-dovey stuff for a few months, keep up with the "getting laid" treatment. Make yourself happy, and then you'll look back laughingly at yourself for ever giving a crap about a weak woman who couldn't keep her undies on.

Wise words worth repeating
So I did.

When you find the one who is worthy of your trust - you'll know.

I think it is hard to get over it but eventually you have to put trust back into your life...Good Luck!

I say cheat on the bitch/asshole and make sure she knows about it. You will never get over it, but at least you can show the person how it feels to have your heart ripped out.

you don't get over it, but you can kick her to the curb without turning into a total asshole, and feel good about yourself. getting cheated on is not the person who got cheated on's fault. I have been cheated on, and it is one of the absolute worst thing in the world. but you don't have to turn into a bitter waste as a result. and getting laid is not the answer, although it feels good.

I agree that getting laid feels good. I also agree that its not the answer. I've been there before and I still remember the pain. The bottom line is that if she hurts you can she really love you? The answer is NO. Find someone else and move on. It's really all you can do. As for her- we here on my planet have a saying-"fuck 'em if they can't take a joke"

My $.02... Surround yourself with people that make you feel like a champ. Go work out, learn something you always wanted to, hit the beach and tan & surf, etc. Focus on all the things that you like about yourself and improve on the things that will truly make you feel better about yourself... blah blah blah... Getting laid might start the process...

"I want a lover I don't have to love, I want a girl who's just out to give a fuck" -Bright Eyes

homicide

Bones, funny sign. But I think that ~ 75% of that group will not be able to follow their own advice!

joshibahn, follow BBtB's advice, keep being yourself and find a woman that is worthy of your time and affections. In PDX, there's bound to be some! Head down to the Rose Festival at the waterfront with some friends this weekend and just enjoy yourself.

Exactly what I needed to hear....man everyone goes through rough breakups and such advice can be so universal. thanks ;)

BOOOO! Cheaters.
 

Getting cheated on really is the kicker! The only mindset that helps me get through being cheated on is knowing that the girl that performed the dirty deed obviously isn't the one that I am looking for anyways. If she is going to cheat on me, then that is a clear-cut sign that she is not the one that I am looking for. Time to pack things up and continue the search for the one that will be faithful, even when tempted.

more information needed bladed. who is the guy she had over until 3 am? hanging out in the hottub until 3 sounds a little bit...uhh huh...that's not the sort of thing i'd do with another chick...my girlfriend would have a fit - unless the girl was a very old friend whom my girlfriend knew i wasn't interested in hooking up with. why the cross-country road trip? why is she going with this guy who is into her?

Wow five years to the day. Necro post award?

A hasty necro too! Bladed just joined today. What an exciting first day!

Since this thread is back from the grave, I'll offer my advice to any newbies of lurkers who are reading.

Take the high ground. Whether you work things out or end it, be a big man/woman and make it clear that you won't tolerate a violation of the trust your relationship is built on. It's up to you to figure out whether forgiving and giving another chance is for you, and if you go the severance route, make sure you wrap it up before you give it a tour of the town.

what a strange question.
 

You don't.

Get over it.

Its always a shock to the system but the only thing you can do is get back in the saddle again, although paranoia or insecurities don't help when it comes to trusting someone again.

where is ustwo with "New Pussy" ?

Plenty of survivors of heartbreak here at the TFP. We're still alive like Frankenstein: Person A broke our heart, Person B jump started us, Person C won't kill us like Person A.

...

Or, ya know, alcohol and masturbation.

That pretty much cures whatever ails ya.

Pass it on. Cheat on your next partner so you know what it feels like to be the cheater rather than the cheatee. :)

Yeah... become just like them and hurt someone else. That makes sense.



Being an asshole is always the right answer.

You're just jealous because he beat you to posting it first. ;)

Bad choice:
drink an inordinate amount of alcohol and hook-up with as many people in a short period of time possible

Good choice:
focus on bettering yourself, keep busy, and take your time getting back into the dating scene making sure you are ready

I've done both; the second one is the better choice.