Swingers? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

LoganSnake · 11-08-2004, 02:55 PM

I watched Secret Lives of Swingers on VH1 last night and began to wonder if anybody here has ever tried it. Share your experiences or thoughts about swinging if you've done it. Could also be a nice place for beginners to ask questions. I'm curious myself.

For those who don't know, swingers are couples who have sex with different people together.

jillian · 11-08-2004, 04:04 PM

been there done that... it is fun if u are with someone who can handle it and u urself are prepared for it....ive "shared" with several lovers... some were serious relationships.. others were just flings where we wanted to try new things.... none of my expiriences were bad although some ende bad... a couple guys couldnt handle seeing me being pleasured by another man or woman while others really loved it.... unfortunatly for me i am single right now so im not getting a whole lot of sharing

imkeen · 11-08-2004, 10:28 PM

I think it really takes two people (well 4 total, at least) that are really cemented in their feelings for each other, and have a high comfort level with sex and all it entails. I really think I could do it, no pun intended, but (unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) my wife wouldn't be able to deal with it emotionally.

Sounds like fun if you are lucky enough to have all the right conditions to make it happen.

Edited:
Oh, by the way, I saw this too. One very normal looking couple, one very new couple on rocky terms (they weren't ready for it), and one VERY experienced couple (not sure these guys were much more than deeply committed sex friends).

mastermac2000 · 11-12-2004, 10:02 PM

seems like this forum needs some help... my wife and i have been married for almost 12 years and the biggest thing in swinging is total trust in your relationship if you have a good relationship it can make it stronger but if you dont have trust with one another it can kill any relationship you might have .....

swinging is a purely sexual thing for us there is not really any emotions involved and you have to be able to seperate sex and love because they are two totally different emotions and feelings

i would be available to answer any questions that are presented to me with nothing barred and totall honesty because if you ask an honest question i will give you an honest answer

CaneBay · 11-12-2004, 11:17 PM

Never done it. Seen and read erotica about it, but don't know the first hand details. Why go to another couple? Why not get your S/O to give you what you want? If you ask, maybe it happens ...?

Hey, everyone is born with needs. If I needed to watch someone else, then so be it.

I like to watch my lover's eyes when she and I come. That's the trick. But if I needed others to share, then that's cool.

Stompy · 11-12-2004, 11:53 PM

I watched that show too.

Very intersting, although you can't exactly approach people and go, "So uh.. hey, you wanna... swap partners for a few mins? It'll be fun."

doncalypso · 11-14-2004, 04:52 PM

I don't believe in sharing partners... I feel that if I'm with a person then sex should be between us only; I will not have sex with other women while in a relationship with her, and I expect her not to have sex with otehr women while she's with me. If she does cheat on me then she's history.

I personally think that if you feel the need to go have sex with someone other than your partner when you're in a relationship then you shouldn't be with that person to begin with.

Lebell · 11-14-2004, 05:42 PM

Warning!

The topic is fine, but TFP is NOT a place to solicit other couples for such activities.

It is against forum rules and those engaging in it will be BANNED.

Just a friendly warning

Ustwo · 11-14-2004, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lebell

Warning!

The topic is fine, but TFP is NOT a place to solicit other couples for such activities.

It is against forum rules and those engaging in it will be BANNED.

Just a friendly warning

Ahhhh Labell, there goes my dream of asking you and your wife

Edit: On another note, you might want to check out www.theswingersboard.com for basic questions.

mastermac2000 · 11-14-2004, 09:35 PM

didnt think anything like that was going on but thanks for the warning

onodrim · 11-14-2004, 10:16 PM

It hadn't happened yet mastermac200, we just want to make sure it doens't.

Anyway, swinging is a lifestyle that I would be very willing to try out, however, the oppurtunity hasn't ever presented itself. Which I guess beings up a good question - how does one get involved in the swinger scene exactly?

MSD · 11-15-2004, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onodrim

It hadn't happened yet mastermac200, we just want to make sure it doens't.

Anyway, swinging is a lifestyle that I would be very willing to try out, however, the oppurtunity hasn't ever presented itself. Which I guess beings up a good question - how does one get involved in the swinger scene exactly?

http://www.swingclubs.us/clubs.php?id=16

DEI37 · 11-15-2004, 09:33 AM

Swinging is a blast. My wife and I have done it for better than two years now, and have no regrets about getting in bed with others. She found her bisexual side, and I've become more self confident...I'm not exactly model material. We travel to other peoples' houses for house parties, go to on-premise clubs, have people here...it's just fun. We've even swapped bed partners for a night, where I'll sleep with another woman, and my wife with another guy. That's neat, too.

For us, we have made friends out of it, and know that they would help us if we needed it, and they know we'd do what we could, too. For some of our friends with benefits, it's more than sex, but not so far as to call it a relationship, I wouldn't say. It's a strong friendship...not quite sure how to explain it. For others, we meet them at clubs or house parties, and that's the best way to meet them...it's about the sex as much as anything else.

The hottest thing though, is to watch a woman have several men in a row, and then lay on the bed, with a river of cum flowing out of her pussy, while she lays in a lake of it as well. To see her pussy swollen from excitement is just hot as well.

If any of you have any questions, ask them here, or PM me if you'd like to keep it discreet. I'll be more than happy to answer them.

shortynickel · 11-15-2004, 10:07 PM

i would be up for swinging if my wife was...which i dont think i will see in this lifetime lol...

Penndude · 11-15-2004, 11:19 PM

My wife and I were pretty serious swingers up until a couple years ago. We ran our own Adult Website at the same time.

The one thing we liked least was "dating" potential couples. We were just in it for the sex...not dinner too

OpenMarried · 11-16-2004, 07:26 PM

Swinging is lots of fun - but if there's one thing I'd caution folks about is to pace yourself - its kinda like the rock stars you hear about who can take a different groupie to bed every night...they get tired of it after awhile. Same thing can happen with swinging if you do it a little too often - the whole thing gets stale.

MasterMac2000 was spot-on when noting that it can make a marriage stronger if the couple is ready for the experience and has a good, open relationship that includes LOTS of communication.

One thing that I kept finding out while we were swinging was how little I really knew about myself and my feelings. Only when you get into situations do you finally really know how you will feel about things (like the first time one's partner is fucked by another...it SOUNDS sexy to many, but until you're there experiencing it...).

We'd certainly not suggest it for everyone...but for those that have a strong relationship already in place where you are both really into seeing one's partner pleased (even if you're not doing the pleasing), swinging can be a magnificent smorgasbord of sexual fun.

memements · 11-17-2004, 09:19 AM

Swinging seems like lots of fun.

My s/o doesn't seem to be into it, which is very disappointing.

I'll ask her, "So you never get the though of having sex with someone else, no strings attached?" to which she replies, "Not really." That's very hard to believe.

I think she has issues with sex in thinking it's more important than it really is. Personally, I'd love to have fun with others.

gariig · 11-17-2004, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DEI37

The hottest thing though, is to watch a woman have several men in a row, and then lay on the bed, with a river of cum flowing out of her pussy, while she lays in a lake of it as well. To see her pussy swollen from excitement is just hot as well.

That's hot! Just a FYI

toxic515 · 11-17-2004, 06:13 PM

All I can say is that we've found it to be a lot of fun. Like DEI37 said It's fun sex, but as open also said, I suspect one must pace the whole experience. Some of the people we've "hung out" with seem to want to do something EVERY weekend. We don't. It's an occasional romp, and then we're all the more pleased with our own relationship and sex lives. In answer to those who think that it means that we don't love each other or that we should be with someone else, I can only point out that marrying someone with 4 arms, 2 mouths and multiple vaginas just seems too weird to me, I'll take the additional person / people any day. ;-)

MSD · 11-17-2004, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by memements

I think she has issues with sex in thinking it's more important than it really is. Personally, I'd love to have fun with others.

Just remember that what's right for you might not be right for her. There's the issue of societal taboos, but some people just don't feel right doing it with just anyone.

mastermac2000 · 11-19-2004, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Penndude

The one thing we liked least was "dating" potential couples. We were just in it for the sex...not dinner too

oh how true that is...

we prefer couples but get so many replies of the single guys just wanting a piece of the action... wife is bi and would rather have a woman and says so repeatedly on message boards and ads but it never fails....

11-08-2004, 02:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	Swingers? I watched Secret Lives of Swingers on VH1 last night and began to wonder if anybody here has ever tried it. Share your experiences or thoughts about swinging if you've done it. Could also be a nice place for beginners to ask questions. I'm curious myself. For those who don't know, swingers are couples who have sex with different people together. __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

11-12-2004, 10:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
mastermac2000 Upright	seems like this forum needs some help... my wife and i have been married for almost 12 years and the biggest thing in swinging is total trust in your relationship if you have a good relationship it can make it stronger but if you dont have trust with one another it can kill any relationship you might have ..... swinging is a purely sexual thing for us there is not really any emotions involved and you have to be able to seperate sex and love because they are two totally different emotions and feelings i would be available to answer any questions that are presented to me with nothing barred and totall honesty because if you ask an honest question i will give you an honest answer __________________ If you can read this thank a teacher If you can read this in English thank a soldier

11-12-2004, 11:53 PM	#6 (permalink)
Stompy Banned from being Banned Location: Donkey	I watched that show too. Very intersting, although you can't exactly approach people and go, "So uh.. hey, you wanna... swap partners for a few mins? It'll be fun." __________________ I love lamp.

11-14-2004, 04:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
doncalypso TFP Mad Scientist Location: Philadelphia, PA	I don't believe in sharing partners... I feel that if I'm with a person then sex should be between us only; I will not have sex with other women while in a relationship with her, and I expect her not to have sex with otehr women while she's with me. If she does cheat on me then she's history. I personally think that if you feel the need to go have sex with someone other than your partner when you're in a relationship then you shouldn't be with that person to begin with. __________________ Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

11-14-2004, 05:42 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lebell Cracking the Whip Location: Sexymama's arms...	Warning! The topic is fine, but TFP is NOT a place to solicit other couples for such activities. It is against forum rules and those engaging in it will be BANNED. Just a friendly warning __________________ "Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." – C. S. Lewis The ONLY sponsors we have are YOU! Please Donate!

11-08-2004, 04:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
jillian Crazy Location: indiana	been there done that... it is fun if u are with someone who can handle it and u urself are prepared for it....ive "shared" with several lovers... some were serious relationships.. others were just flings where we wanted to try new things.... none of my expiriences were bad although some ende bad... a couple guys couldnt handle seeing me being pleasured by another man or woman while others really loved it.... unfortunatly for me i am single right now so im not getting a whole lot of sharing

11-08-2004, 10:28 PM	#3 (permalink)
imkeen Insane	I think it really takes two people (well 4 total, at least) that are really cemented in their feelings for each other, and have a high comfort level with sex and all it entails. I really think I could do it, no pun intended, but (unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) my wife wouldn't be able to deal with it emotionally. Sounds like fun if you are lucky enough to have all the right conditions to make it happen. Edited: Oh, by the way, I saw this too. One very normal looking couple, one very new couple on rocky terms (they weren't ready for it), and one VERY experienced couple (not sure these guys were much more than deeply committed sex friends).

11-12-2004, 11:17 PM	#5 (permalink)
CaneBay Upright Location: Near Sacramento, CA	Never done it. Seen and read erotica about it, but don't know the first hand details. Why go to another couple? Why not get your S/O to give you what you want? If you ask, maybe it happens ...? Hey, everyone is born with needs. If I needed to watch someone else, then so be it. I like to watch my lover's eyes when she and I come. That's the trick. But if I needed others to share, then that's cool.

11-14-2004, 09:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
mastermac2000 Upright	didnt think anything like that was going on but thanks for the warning __________________ If you can read this thank a teacher If you can read this in English thank a soldier

11-14-2004, 10:16 PM	#11 (permalink)
onodrim Cosmically Curious Location: Chicago, IL	It hadn't happened yet mastermac200, we just want to make sure it doens't. Anyway, swinging is a lifestyle that I would be very willing to try out, however, the oppurtunity hasn't ever presented itself. Which I guess beings up a good question - how does one get involved in the swinger scene exactly? __________________ "The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides" -Carl Sagan

11-15-2004, 09:33 AM	#13 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	Swinging is a blast. My wife and I have done it for better than two years now, and have no regrets about getting in bed with others. She found her bisexual side, and I've become more self confident...I'm not exactly model material. We travel to other peoples' houses for house parties, go to on-premise clubs, have people here...it's just fun. We've even swapped bed partners for a night, where I'll sleep with another woman, and my wife with another guy. That's neat, too. For us, we have made friends out of it, and know that they would help us if we needed it, and they know we'd do what we could, too. For some of our friends with benefits, it's more than sex, but not so far as to call it a relationship, I wouldn't say. It's a strong friendship...not quite sure how to explain it. For others, we meet them at clubs or house parties, and that's the best way to meet them...it's about the sex as much as anything else. The hottest thing though, is to watch a woman have several men in a row, and then lay on the bed, with a river of cum flowing out of her pussy, while she lays in a lake of it as well. To see her pussy swollen from excitement is just hot as well. If any of you have any questions, ask them here, or PM me if you'd like to keep it discreet. I'll be more than happy to answer them. __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

11-15-2004, 10:07 PM	#14 (permalink)
shortynickel Addict Location: Central PA	i would be up for swinging if my wife was...which i dont think i will see in this lifetime lol...

11-15-2004, 11:19 PM	#15 (permalink)
Penndude Tilted	My wife and I were pretty serious swingers up until a couple years ago. We ran our own Adult Website at the same time. The one thing we liked least was "dating" potential couples. We were just in it for the sex...not dinner too __________________ I am doing some Bloggin' http://homepage.mac.com/penn42/iblog/index.html

11-16-2004, 07:26 PM	#16 (permalink)
OpenMarried Upright Location: Houston, TX	Swinging is lots of fun - but if there's one thing I'd caution folks about is to pace yourself - its kinda like the rock stars you hear about who can take a different groupie to bed every night...they get tired of it after awhile. Same thing can happen with swinging if you do it a little too often - the whole thing gets stale. MasterMac2000 was spot-on when noting that it can make a marriage stronger if the couple is ready for the experience and has a good, open relationship that includes LOTS of communication. One thing that I kept finding out while we were swinging was how little I really knew about myself and my feelings. Only when you get into situations do you finally really know how you will feel about things (like the first time one's partner is fucked by another...it SOUNDS sexy to many, but until you're there experiencing it...). We'd certainly not suggest it for everyone...but for those that have a strong relationship already in place where you are both really into seeing one's partner pleased (even if you're not doing the pleasing), swinging can be a magnificent smorgasbord of sexual fun.

11-17-2004, 09:19 AM	#17 (permalink)
memements Upright	Swinging seems like lots of fun. My s/o doesn't seem to be into it, which is very disappointing. I'll ask her, "So you never get the though of having sex with someone else, no strings attached?" to which she replies, "Not really." That's very hard to believe. I think she has issues with sex in thinking it's more important than it really is. Personally, I'd love to have fun with others.

11-17-2004, 06:13 PM	#19 (permalink)
toxic515 Addict Location: Texas	All I can say is that we've found it to be a lot of fun. Like DEI37 said It's fun sex, but as open also said, I suspect one must pace the whole experience. Some of the people we've "hung out" with seem to want to do something EVERY weekend. We don't. It's an occasional romp, and then we're all the more pleased with our own relationship and sex lives. In answer to those who think that it means that we don't love each other or that we should be with someone else, I can only point out that marrying someone with 4 arms, 2 mouths and multiple vaginas just seems too weird to me, I'll take the additional person / people any day. ;-) __________________ Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.