Does anyone else have trouble getting a second date? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

KnifeMissile · 03-10-2004, 10:57 PM

Except for the fact that I don't meet too many new people (I'm quite the introvert), I have few problems getting a date. I'm very attractive, reasonably interesting, and generally a nice guy.

However, the few dates I do get very rarely result in a relationship worth mentioning. I'm afraid to guess at what this might imply about me so I was wondering if anyone else can relate to this? To this day, no girl has ever confessed as to what it is they don't like about me. Most don't even really want to talk about it (not that I push the matter). A clue what have been nice...

motdakasha · 03-10-2004, 11:09 PM

Are the girls you date also similarly introverted? It could create conflict if you are trying to get with more extroverted people. (And have no plans to become extroverted.)

KnifeMissile · 03-10-2004, 11:17 PM

Hmm, interesting idea.
Actually, most girls I date are extroverted and for obvious reasons. Do you really think this is a problem? How? It doesn't bother me that they're extroverted...

slimshaydee · 03-10-2004, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KnifeMissle
It doesn't bother me that their extroverted...

Yes, but it may bother them that you are introverted

KnifeMissile · 03-10-2004, 11:33 PM

Of course it might but why would it bother them, generally. I'm saying that there's a trend where women often don't like me after getting to know me (as sad as that might be). Is there a reason why extroverted people will often not like introverted people? I don't understand why this would be since I'm an introvert and I don't dislike extroverts. How is it different the other way around?

World's King · 03-11-2004, 12:11 AM

I feel the same. Women don't like me after they get to know me either. It's all well and good for a one night stand or maybe a weekend of fun but they leave. Always. I do have a girlfriend now but I think the only reason she's around is that she's too busy to find someone else.

motdakasha · 03-11-2004, 01:02 AM

You may not see it as a problem because you don't need/enjoy/seek the company and attention of others. Extroverts like meeting new people, going to social events, etc.

Ext: "Let's go to this party that I hear is going to be great."
Int: "Let's stay in and watch a movie."

Averett · 03-11-2004, 04:04 AM

Second date? What's that? For that matter, what's a first date?

-Anders · 03-11-2004, 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Second date? What's that? For that matter, what's a first date?

I second that!

Ustwo · 03-11-2004, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KnifeMissle
Except for the fact that I don't meet too many new people (I'm quite the introvert), I have few problems getting a date. I'm very attractive, reasonably interesting, and generally a nice guy.

Here is your problem. Nice guys don't get laid often. Women don't want 'nice' they want confident men who don't act like they need them. Its a genetic thing, they can't help it. You want the girl to think 'I wonder if he really likes me' not 'he really likes me'. Once I figured this out I didn't have to wonder if I would have a date, but with which one I would.

KnifeMissile · 03-11-2004, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Second date? What's that? For that matter, what's a first date?

Are you being facetious?

It's a metaphor for the general idea that women lose interest very quickly after having an initially strong interest, at first...

Bleed Me Dry · 03-11-2004, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Original King
I feel the same. Women don't like me after they get to know me either. It's all well and good for a one night stand or maybe a weekend of fun but they leave. Always. I do have a girlfriend now but I think the only reason she's around is that she's too busy to find someone else.

What are you fucking kidding me? Thanx for the support

justinh28 · 03-16-2004, 01:41 PM

what r u doing on your first date , and ill tell you what a girl is looking for and what theyre looking at

Averett · 03-17-2004, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Second date? What's that? For that matter, what's a first date?

Quote:

Originally posted by KnifeMissle
Are you being facetious?

It's a metaphor for the general idea that women lose interest very quickly after having an initially strong interest, at first...

Yup, I was being facetious. I often am

I've never been on a real honest to goodness date. Going to a baseball game with a guy because I lost a bet is not a date. Well, it was all a trick to get us there, but whatever. Wasn't a date! Grr. Somebody take me on a date please!

phlox · 03-17-2004, 10:09 PM

Put up an online personal ad, hang out at coffeehouses where cute guys study, etc. Just get out there, someone will ask you out.

-Anders · 03-19-2004, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Yup, I was being facetious. I often am

I've never been on a real honest to goodness date. Going to a baseball game with a guy because I lost a bet is not a date. Well, it was all a trick to get us there, but whatever. Wasn't a date! Grr. Somebody take me on a date please!

Sure, I'll take you out the next time I come to America

Yakk · 03-19-2004, 08:08 AM

Hark! A damsel in distress!

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Somebody take me on a date please!

Averett, will you do me the honour of going out on a date with me?

=)

Mango · 03-19-2004, 08:18 AM

Perhaps your view of yourself is grossly inacurate.

Averett · 03-19-2004, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by -Anders
Sure, I'll take you out the next time I come to America

Quote:

Originally posted by Yakk
Hark! A damsel in distress!

Averett, will you do me the honour of going out on a date with me?

=)

Whoo hooo! Ive got two dates

ratbastid · 03-19-2004, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Whoo hooo! Ive got two dates

lurkette and I want to take you to dinner and a mooooovie!

losthellhound · 03-19-2004, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Grr. Somebody take me on a date please!

Alright, I'd be more then happy to take you out, name the place and time and what you want to do

Yakk · 03-19-2004, 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Averett
Whoo hooo! Ive got two dates

See, your problem is easy.

KM, however, I can't help. Sorry. =(

Averett · 03-19-2004, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ratbastid
lurkette and I want to take you to dinner and a mooooovie!

3 dates!

Quote:

Originally posted by losthellhound
Alright, I'd be more then happy to take you out, name the place and time and what you want to do

4 dates!

Of course, one is from Denmark, two from Canada, and 2 from North Carolina! Where's the boys in New York?

Hmm.... I will be in Niagara Falls in a few months. Any chance yall are in Toronto?

losthellhound · 03-19-2004, 01:59 PM

Im closer to Niagara Falls then Toronto

(Anyways, Im in Waterloo, thats not that far from New York *g*), my buddy pretty much makes weekend trips there..

Yakk · 03-19-2004, 03:13 PM

Niagra Falls? That's close to the Shaw festival -- I haven't been to Shaw yet, but I'm somewhat keen to compare it with Stratford.

SpikeQX99 · 03-19-2004, 06:41 PM

Anytime you're in Washington State, I'd be more than happy to show you around Averett. Personal Tour Guide and all that...

I could use a date every now and again!

(Spike thinks to himself)

"*it's worth a shot* You never know"

Blackthorn · 03-24-2004, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KnifeMissle
Of course it might but why would it bother them, generally. I'm saying that there's a trend where women often don't like me after getting to know me (as sad as that might be). Is there a reason why extroverted people will often not like introverted people? I don't understand why this would be since I'm an introvert and I don't dislike extroverts. How is it different the other way around?

Extroverted people often times like interaction with other people and have an emotional need for conversation. If you are quiet and possibly hard to get to know or interact with it makes it difficult to know you and even more difficult to know if they like you. You don't have to be the life of the party but if you can work on getting over the introversion at least to the point of reasonable conversation you might fare a little better.

P.S. Typically (not always) a woman will have the need for conversation as one of her top five emotional needs. If you can develop that skill you will have better luck getting a second date. Me -- well I have a face made for radio so it's no wonder I rarely get a first date.

Good luck to you.

filtherton · 03-24-2004, 09:15 PM

Try knocking 'em up on the first date. That'll keep 'em coming back for more.

Date the Banana · 03-24-2004, 09:30 PM

In my experience (limited) women really aren't kidding when they say they want someone to listen. Introverted guys can go a long way with that, but sooner or later even the most extroverted girl out there is going to run out of things to say. At which point you either step up to the plate, or she looks elsewhere. An extrovert and an introvert can get along very well, but rarely do they make good couples. Don't change yourself, but maybe you should change who you're dating.
my .02‰~

EDIT aww...that was supposed to be a yen sign...

celaeno · 03-25-2004, 07:29 PM

I usually have trouble making it past date 2 or 3, and after that, guys just kind of fade out of my life. It's weird... We make out, maybe make it to 2nd base, then the night ends, either he says he'll call me or I say I'll call him and then whomever makes the promise never fulfills it.

One guy actually gave me the flu and nearly killed me (5 hours in the ER, not fun) and never bothered to call me. Seemingly, he dropped off the face of the earth, for the friend who introduced us never saw or heard from him after that, either. Intriguing...

This whole pick-up-and-dump thing is getting old, though... I haven't had an actual "boyfriend" since I was 16.

rockzilla · 03-26-2004, 07:53 PM

First off, I'd take Averett out too, and I'm only a 7 hour bus ride from Niagra Falls.
As for your question KnifeMissle, dating is all trial and error, you may just not be what the girls you've been dating are looking for. Keep playing the field, something good'll come up.

Dilbert1234567 · 03-26-2004, 11:32 PM

heh, i dont get any second dates, need a first one to get a second...

*so lonely*

*dies a little inside*

Johnny Rotten · 03-26-2004, 11:55 PM

KnifeMissile, it sounds like you might want to take a look at your follow-up strategy. Are you asking for a second date too soon, like only a few days later? Or two weeks later? Timing is important. Also, if you find yourself getting frustrated, you can always just go to a bar and try your hand at a one-night stand. Sure, you might get rejected, but if and when you click, it's a great confidence boost, and the ladies love confidence. Lastly, don't talk too much about yourself or your past on a first date--it can turn people off. You'll want to steer more towards current events, likes and dislikes, music, movies, etc.

Just keep at it, it'll get better.

irateplatypus · 03-27-2004, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by filtherton
Try knocking 'em up on the first date. That'll keep 'em coming back for more.

Distasteful. And by that, I mean distastefully hilarious.

03-10-2004, 10:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
KnifeMissile Location: Waterloo, Ontario	Does anyone else have trouble getting a second date? Except for the fact that I don't meet too many new people (I'm quite the introvert), I have few problems getting a date. I'm very attractive, reasonably interesting, and generally a nice guy. However, the few dates I do get very rarely result in a relationship worth mentioning. I'm afraid to guess at what this might imply about me so I was wondering if anyone else can relate to this? To this day, no girl has ever confessed as to what it is they don't like about me. Most don't even really want to talk about it (not that I push the matter). A clue what have been nice...

03-10-2004, 11:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
motdakasha Hiya Puddin'! Miss me? Location: Silicon Valley, CA	Are the girls you date also similarly introverted? It could create conflict if you are trying to get with more extroverted people. (And have no plans to become extroverted.) __________________ =^-^= motdakasha =^-^= Just Google It. BA Psychology & Photography (I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

03-10-2004, 11:17 PM	#3 (permalink)
KnifeMissile Location: Waterloo, Ontario	Hmm, interesting idea. Actually, most girls I date are extroverted and for obvious reasons. Do you really think this is a problem? How? It doesn't bother me that they're extroverted... Last edited by KnifeMissile; 03-10-2004 at 11:27 PM..

03-11-2004, 12:11 AM	#6 (permalink)
World's King Here Location: Denver City Denver	I feel the same. Women don't like me after they get to know me either. It's all well and good for a one night stand or maybe a weekend of fun but they leave. Always. I do have a girlfriend now but I think the only reason she's around is that she's too busy to find someone else. __________________ heavy is the head that wears the crown

03-11-2004, 01:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
motdakasha Hiya Puddin'! Miss me? Location: Silicon Valley, CA	You may not see it as a problem because you don't need/enjoy/seek the company and attention of others. Extroverts like meeting new people, going to social events, etc. Ext: "Let's go to this party that I hear is going to be great." Int: "Let's stay in and watch a movie." __________________ =^-^= motdakasha =^-^= Just Google It. BA Psychology & Photography (I'm not going psychoanalyze you nor will I let you cry on my shoulder. Have a nice day.)

03-10-2004, 11:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
KnifeMissile Location: Waterloo, Ontario	Of course it might but why would it bother them, generally. I'm saying that there's a trend where women often don't like me after getting to know me (as sad as that might be). Is there a reason why extroverted people will often not like introverted people? I don't understand why this would be since I'm an introvert and I don't dislike extroverts. How is it different the other way around?

03-11-2004, 04:04 AM	#8 (permalink)
Averett Is In Love Location: I'm workin' on it	Second date? What's that? For that matter, what's a first date? __________________ Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

03-16-2004, 01:41 PM	#13 (permalink)
justinh28 Upright Location: houston, texas	what r u doing on your first date , and ill tell you what a girl is looking for and what theyre looking at

03-17-2004, 10:09 PM	#15 (permalink)
phlox Tilted	Put up an online personal ad, hang out at coffeehouses where cute guys study, etc. Just get out there, someone will ask you out.

03-19-2004, 08:18 AM	#18 (permalink)
Mango Banned	Perhaps your view of yourself is grossly inacurate.

03-19-2004, 01:59 PM	#24 (permalink)
losthellhound Thats MR. Muffin Face now Location: Everywhere work sends me	Im closer to Niagara Falls then Toronto (Anyways, Im in Waterloo, thats not that far from New York g), my buddy pretty much makes weekend trips there.. __________________ "Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?" -- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death

03-19-2004, 03:13 PM	#25 (permalink)
Yakk Wehret Den Anfängen! Location: Ontario, Canada	Niagra Falls? That's close to the Shaw festival -- I haven't been to Shaw yet, but I'm somewhat keen to compare it with Stratford. __________________ Last edited by JHVH : 10-29-4004 BC at 09:00 PM. Reason: Time for a rest. Last edited by Yakk; 03-19-2004 at 05:55 PM..

03-19-2004, 06:41 PM	#26 (permalink)
SpikeQX99 The Best thing that never happened to you Location: Silverdale, WA	Anytime you're in Washington State, I'd be more than happy to show you around Averett. Personal Tour Guide and all that... I could use a date every now and again! (Spike thinks to himself) "it's worth a shot You never know" __________________ I'm so in love with a girl... she is my everything

03-24-2004, 09:15 PM	#28 (permalink)
filtherton Junkie Location: In the land of ice and snow.	Try knocking 'em up on the first date. That'll keep 'em coming back for more.

03-24-2004, 09:30 PM	#29 (permalink)
Date the Banana Insane Location: Japan	In my experience (limited) women really aren't kidding when they say they want someone to listen. Introverted guys can go a long way with that, but sooner or later even the most extroverted girl out there is going to run out of things to say. At which point you either step up to the plate, or she looks elsewhere. An extrovert and an introvert can get along very well, but rarely do they make good couples. Don't change yourself, but maybe you should change who you're dating. my .02‰~ EDIT aww...that was supposed to be a yen sign... __________________ all work and no play make Date something something

03-25-2004, 07:29 PM	#30 (permalink)
celaeno Upright Location: Illinois	I usually have trouble making it past date 2 or 3, and after that, guys just kind of fade out of my life. It's weird... We make out, maybe make it to 2nd base, then the night ends, either he says he'll call me or I say I'll call him and then whomever makes the promise never fulfills it. One guy actually gave me the flu and nearly killed me (5 hours in the ER, not fun) and never bothered to call me. Seemingly, he dropped off the face of the earth, for the friend who introduced us never saw or heard from him after that, either. Intriguing... This whole pick-up-and-dump thing is getting old, though... I haven't had an actual "boyfriend" since I was 16. __________________ Talking to oneself is a lot like mental masturbation--it may be more meaningful when you have a partner, but ultimately, it really doesn't matter.

03-26-2004, 07:53 PM	#31 (permalink)
rockzilla Junkie Location: The Kitchen	First off, I'd take Averett out too, and I'm only a 7 hour bus ride from Niagra Falls. As for your question KnifeMissle, dating is all trial and error, you may just not be what the girls you've been dating are looking for. Keep playing the field, something good'll come up.

03-26-2004, 11:32 PM	#32 (permalink)
Dilbert1234567 Devils Cabana Boy Location: Central Coast CA	heh, i dont get any second dates, need a first one to get a second... so lonely dies a little inside __________________ Donate Blood! "Love is not finding the perfect person, but learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." -Sam Keen

03-26-2004, 11:55 PM	#33 (permalink)
Johnny Rotten lost and found Location: Berkeley	KnifeMissile, it sounds like you might want to take a look at your follow-up strategy. Are you asking for a second date too soon, like only a few days later? Or two weeks later? Timing is important. Also, if you find yourself getting frustrated, you can always just go to a bar and try your hand at a one-night stand. Sure, you might get rejected, but if and when you click, it's a great confidence boost, and the ladies love confidence. Lastly, don't talk too much about yourself or your past on a first date--it can turn people off. You'll want to steer more towards current events, likes and dislikes, music, movies, etc. Just keep at it, it'll get better. __________________ "The idea that money doesn't buy you happiness is a lie put about by the rich, to stop the poor from killing them." -- Michael Caine