Why is a Fleshlight more sleazy than a Vibrator?
 

I was watching "Zack and Miri make a Porno", which I heartily recommend, and the scene with Zack ordering the Fleshlight from Amazon got me thinking about differences between Male and Female masturbation.

While female masturbation seems to have really come out of the closet, with everyone from Oprah to anchors on the nightly news discussing vibrators and sex toys for women, male masturbatory aids seem to still carry a stigma of sleaze.

Is this just my perception, or does anyone else feel this way too?

Because it's for men.

Male sexuality is considered sleazy, if not exploitative or predatory.

It's called a "double standard" at best, and "misandry" at worst.

Fleshlight vs. Dildo
Both objectify.
Both pleasure.

vs. Vibrator
Doesn't necessarily objectify.
Always pleasures.

Fleshlight is a terribly tacky name which in itself is a bit off-putting. Fleshlight is a name brand rather than a descriptor for a specific range of pleasure products. It attempts to look like a harmless flashlight - it hides its true purpose. You could say that it is ashamed of itself. Fleshlights are designed with men in mind - I suppose a woman could enjoy a fleshlight, but I haven't met a woman who does.

Dildo sounds like a kid's toy, which is a bit disconcerting. Dildos are not necessarily in the shape of a penis, but they are usually out in the open - screaming I'm a dildo! Dildos are not always gender-specific. Both men and women can enjoy dildos.

Vibrator sounds like a tool. Both men and women can enjoy vibrators.

Misandry, maybe. But I contest you're attempting to compare apples and oranges (and I threw in strawberries), and that's why you're coming up short.

I suppose there is a stigma, but I would contend it is our (males) own fault. Guys are not open about masturbation like women are. For instance...

If a woman says she fingered herself in both holes while she got off, I tend to think that other women would laugh it off, assuming the discussion was already on the topic. Guys overhearing would think it's cool.

If a guy says he fingered his ass while he got off, the room would fall silent or you would hear audible cringes, regardless of if the topic of masturbation was being discussed or not. This is also assuming the group is not comprised of gay men who may feel more comfortable discussing the topic. In terms of majority samples of society, it isn't. Any women overhearing would most likely have a mixed reaction. I know my wife would go "ew". Some others might not. One of our best friends would probably get hot and bothered by the thought, but she is only one of a few that I have ever met that would.

That is part of the source of the stigma. Men do not care if women use toys, and for most straight men, any part of the female anatomy is simply delectable. I know I feel just fine licking any part of my wife, and if I was single, the same would go for nearly any hot girl I'm hooking up with. For women, the feeling isn't as mutual. Many women do not worship the dick as we do the cooch, and you have found a rare gift if you run into a girl that likes licking a guys ass.

All of this, to me, filters down to toys and discussion of toys as well. Guys do not discuss fleshlights or microwaved cantaloupes except in a joking manner. Male sexuality is an implied subject, not discussed in detail except when drunk, and it is quickly and purposefully forgotten the next day. Women, to me, would not get off to seeing a guy jerk off with a fleshlight. Guys, however, delight in watching a woman go to work with a dildo.

Now this is all from a guy's point of view, and of course the women we see on this site I tend to think of as more open than the general population. Guys as well. As an example, again, my wife would find zero interest in visiting here, yet I do. I am also much more open about my sexuality than she is.

Anyways, back to topic. Let's look at this more directly. I'll say the next numbers would be based on discussion of the topic followed by a short video. Of course, this is completely subjective and based on gut feeling or educated guess rather than any real study.
Chick with dildo - I'll say 95% of the male population would not have a single issue with this topic. Maybe 80% of the female population would not. Just an arbitrary guess, again
Guy with fleshlight - I would say 30% of the male population would be ok with this topic. 60% of the female population would be ok.

That is how I see it.

Nobody ever accidentally a vibrator. The whole thing.

thanks, genuinegirly for your thoughtful answer.
it frees me up at this busy time.

oh wow.....hahahahaah

well its the same thing as a guy watching porn, he is considered sleazy but when a girl watches porn its "educational". i guess it is because the guy's mind is more tuned to sex and that is why less attention is given to men about sex cause they will somehow find ways to satisfy what they need...http://photosnag.com/img/3322/n09x0302vnsn/clear.gif

I don't think there's a stigma attached at all, but that's just my perception. I mean, does anyone think men don't masturbate as often as women? :lol:

To me, the biggest difference has been in the lagging technology - women have had penis substitutes forever, but it took until just a few years ago to come up with a product that closely resembles the feel of a vagina. And yes, I'm speaking from experience - I bought a Fleshlight a few years ago. I no longer have it, because I thought the preparation time and the cleaning up time afterward outweighed the experience itself. But it's a very awesome experience for anyone who's been disappointed and felt ripped-off by inferior products in the past - and I'll admit to occasionally regretting throwing it away.

Genuinegirly - great point about men and women both being able to enjoy vibrators.
But I think we can give the people at Fleshlight a pass on disguising it as a flashlight or large can of beer. I mean, it's not like you display your dildos on your coffee table, right?
Besides - it's actually a case (literally) of form following function. The "action" end of the product includes the fake outside genitalia, and therefore needs to be a larger diameter than the rest of the tube. I don't think they originally set out to design something that looked like a flashlight; more likely the product got its name after the final prototype was produced.

The only stigma in my mind is trying to compete with that 8 pound gorrilla dildo.

I knew there was going to be an "I accidentally the whole thing" reference in this thread. Thank you Daniel.

All I have to say is you don't have to worry about the stigma of a fleshlight when you have whips, chains and cattle prods setting beside it.

I'm also in the camp that it's because men are more tuned to sex hence the "negative" aspect. And vice versa.

And besides, I always thought fleshlight was called to cleverly disguise it's name.

"Dad, whats this?"
"Er ... That's my flashlight, I need it in case the lights go out"

Later on ...
Wife:"Honey, do you want me to get the fleshlight...?"
Jimmy:"Don't you mean flashlight? And why do you need it? The lights are not out." Flips light switch.
Dad:"JIMMY! Go back to bed!!"

Someone had to say it.

The truthful answer to the thread is that I have no idea why the issue exists but it certainly does.

But I'd never given it much thought - I guess the issue that everyone can enjoy a vibrator makes it less threatening.

Here is my guess. Apologies in advance for generalizations.

Many women struggle to have orgasms. Even if they can regularly, it is with a lot more effort. A vibrator is almost a required tool to help them orgasm and learn how their body works.

Guys on the otherhand can orgasm simply by slamming the door on their dick for a few minutes. They also masturbate more often. A guy buying a fleshlight is like watching an obese person buying a gallon of ice cream, bottle of whipped cream, box of twinkies and a two liter of Pepsi.

I kinda agree with you. I know quite a few women my age that had never had an orgasm or had their first later in life when learned about Rabbits and such from girlfriends or cable shows. Because of this, it quickly became an acceptable tool in the bedroom for use either solo or as a couple.

Men are simply viewed as having it easier. I'm guessing there may be a slant on the sleaziness factor due to the anthropological evolution of male sexuality. Remember that not long ago, men were viewed as more manly the more notches they had in their bedpost and women were demure little things that only had sex when their husbands commanded it. :oogle:

To overgeneralize:

Women masturbate when they're having trouble having an orgasm - which is a perfectly normal thing that happens to all women.

Men masturbate when they're having trouble getting a woman - which reflects poorly on their manliness.

Incoming female wrath...

gg makes a good point. If the Fleshlight were, say, just a sleeve with no formations to have you believe it was a vagina, then its stigma would be reduced. It would just become an enhanced masturbation tool as opposed to a cheap fantasy replacement for the real thing. This is why dildos (apart from the funny name) are looked at in a humorous fashion while vibrators are spared.

ummm, you what?

women masturbate when they feel like it! Just like guys. We love to come just as much as you do.

Now tell me you were just kidding when you wrote that heh.


/return to thread discussion.

I don't know what other people think but I don't care if guys use a fleshlight. I don't think it's gross or sleazy if men masturbate. I think it's hot, and natural.

Look on the bright side, with all this talk of female masturbation, soon male masturbation will be the next hot topic ;)

I really like the idea of the Fleshlight. If I was a guy, I'd likely have the base and a couple different sleeves to keep myself entertained. None of the guys that I've offered to get one for have accepted, as they're more creeped out by it than I am.

But as for the stigma, it's a relatively new product, and people aren't used to seeing plastic vaginas. Give it a decade and no one will care.

Fleshlights are creepy, because Bear Cub personally tests each one before they leave the factory.

I love my job.

1. women masturbate for the same exact reasons men do.

2. don't want a stigma attached to your sex toys? Then don't attach one.

sheesh...

I'm finding it difficult to determine at exactly whom you're directing your scorn.
Is it Fleshlight buyers, obese people, or people who watch obese people do their shopping?

So are you saying masturbating is not "manly"?
Or are you saying that no man in a relationship ever masturbates? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Jesus christ, did anyone bother to read the first two words of my post? I'll try rephrasing: when a woman masturbates, nobody assumes it's because she can't get laid. There's no assumption of any sort of failure on her part, at least none that she can be faulted for. Men don't always escape this judgement.

It wasn't long ago that vibrators and dildos had this sort of stigma attached to them as well. It's only been in recent years that women have been a lot more open about their sex toys.

That said, I am not sure that time will bring men's toys up to the same level. Growing up, there was always a stigma around boys (men) masturbating. It wasn't something guys talked about other than to make fun of another guy (at least the guys I hung out with... perhaps other guys were circle jerking with their buddies, but not me). As a result, male masturbation always had a bit of a stigma around it.

Also, I think there is something to idea that most male sex toys, until insertion toys like the Fleshlight came onto the market (no pun!), were solely novelty items. (Think: inflatible sex dolls... anyone who has ever tried one can tell you they suck... and not in the right way). As a result, male sex toys have yet to shake off the stigma of novelty.

Combine the issue of male masturbation with the novelty toy stigma and you have a recipe for comedy and shame (just think about the image that popped into your mind when I suggested in the paragraph above that I had actually used an inflatable sex doll and you will know what I am talking about).

yournamehere wins the thread!
And I never say that.

No scorn from me. I don't have an issue with a fleshlight or any other toy used by a male. I was just trying to come up with a reason why they are perceived differently from vibrators and dildos. That's why my post started with "Here is my guess."

My analogy was to suggest that some might view male toys as unnecessary indulgences by a group that was already overly indulgent while female toys are treated as being more therapeutic in nature. Don't believe it myself, but simply trying to come up with a reason to help explain the perception. Would have been more clear had I had more time when I made the post.

^^ Heh, actually man, your post was very well written and quite grasped the concept well. I do believe I'm a good judge seeing as I am illiterate but unfortunately it is many TFPers habit to take things out of their intended context. I call it the oxymoron of intentional density. You understand but you choose not to.

But the added clarification is a plus. :)

Well, that made it much clearer. Thank you.
I inferred from your earlier post that it meant, "Men have hands to masturbate with; anything else is excessive and clogs your arteries."

The hairy palms I can live with; the clotting thing scared me. :eek:

NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stupid, stupid male.

I started playing with myself when I was about 10. It was all about feeling good. I later realized it helped me relax. I had no idea what an orgasm was, so I never bothered to work up to one. It took no time whatsoever the first time a male friend showed me what an orgasm was. Told me it was possible - bam. Easy peasy. Most women are not sexually disfunctional as you have described. Maybe every woman doesn't have it as easy as me, but a vibrator is harly required. In fact, I am bothered that you think it is required. What kinds of women have you been with, really?

Hrrm, I don't think there should be any gender bashing in this thread. At least not by those who purport having been in a relationship or three.

If men weren't petulant horny dumbasses and women weren't emotional Rubik's Cubes, everybody would still be self-fucking their way to Valhalla via battery-operated bliss.

BAD BAD BAD FEMALE!!

You must not do that, it is unCatholic and probably illegal in your state. Now you go back to your room and think about how such a bad person you've been.

Pure poetry, C! :hearts:

Wow. This is a post from a "Super Moderator"? I would have been banned from the TFP if I had started a response to your post by calling you a "stupid, stupid female."

As to the substance of your response, if you had read my post carefully, you would have seen that I NEVER said that "most women are ... sexually dysfunctional." I said that:

I'm happy for you that you've been playing with yourself since you were 10 and can orgasm easily. I've been with many women like you in this regard. You - and women like you - were not intended to be covered by my statement, which I acknowledged (and apologized for) as being a generalization.

However, just because this is true for you, it doesn't mean that my statement that "many women struggle to have orgasms" is not. If this were not the case, how can you explain the dozens of books on Amazon that teach a woman how to have an orgasm? Ever seen books or magazine columns teaching a guy how to have an orgasm? Also, how can you explain these statistics I found from a quick Google search:

- 5-10 percent of adult women in the U.S. have never experienced orgasm by any means of self or partner stimulation" (Spector & Carey, 1990).

- In a survey of 100 happily married couples, "48% of the women reported they sometimes had difficulty in getting sexually aroused, 46% reported intermittent difficulties in reaching orgasm, and 15% were completely unable to have an orgasm" (Heiman & Lopiccolo, 1976:24).

Hell, when I tried to Google to find out what percentage of men had never had an orgasm, I got the following message: "Did you mean: percentage women never orgasm"

If you think that my post lacks so much legitimacy that you called me "stupid," why did jewels reply:

To further substantiate that my "guess" on how the fleshlight and a vibrator are perceived differently might have some legitimacy, check out this:

Original Fleshlights at Fleshlight.com!

vs.

First Time Orgasm | Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

You need to stop reading (and responding to) posts as though they are intended as a personal attack.

I think the answer is simpler than most here are making it.

It's simply a matter of newness.

Vibrators were sleazy 30 years ago.

Now that it's permeated society and is in wide use, no one thinks twice about it.

IF it takes off (I'm not convinced it will) it'll be just as normal as using your hand in 30 more years.

No matter how well you say something, and how carefully you qualify a statement, some people will read into your statement and take offense. A little careful reading and a stab at empathy might help some people become less defensive.

There is a clear "cut-off" point for a dildo. It can incorporate the balls, or not, but there's not much remaining options there. A disembodied penis is complete.

However, with a Fleshlight/pussy, there's a bit of an "ew" factor. Where is the outer edge of a pussy? How much flesh comes along, and what do you do with the edge? For example, follow these links (I'm not NSFWing the thread yet)
http://www.adultnoveltyworld.com/Cli...5562-06-bx.jpg
Cassia Riley Pussy Stroker

Somehow, it seems to step away from "sexy" and become more "psycho killer chopping up body parts".

I agree with that as well.

I can appreciate GGs sense of humor. :p Not that she needs me to defend her, but it seems to me she was merely stating her viewpoint in what I perceived as a lighthearted teasing way, based on what I know of her here at TFP.

Lighten up. She's good people.

I think I will. Can I bring my husband along to the bedroom for this contemplation?
Slow down, friend. I really didn't mean it in the way that you took it. You shared some great numbers with us because of the misunderstanding though...

awwwwwwwww, thanks :icare:

Re-read it and still didn't see the lighthearted teasing humor. However, lots of subtleties are lost in type. I hold no grudges and have forgiven and forgotten. The end.:)

I too have offered to purchase a Fleshlight for my SO, but he didn't care for the idea. Watching guys masturbate has always been a turn-on for me, so I find the Fleshlight to be an interesting product. And I agree that the stigma will likely subside after some time has passed.

This thread got me so turned on I had to go take care of it with my Hitachi Magic Wand, which is a "massager", not a vibrator (yeah right).

I'm still amazed that a woman would buy a man a Fleshlight. I guess that shows my inner dinosaur.

You kids and your new-fangled understanding and acceptance of human sexuality! Baaah, humbug.

Sorry to pick on you, but it's all rooted in this myth. Male sexuality is what controls and drives him, female sexuality is something to put on a pedestal and defend or to be ashamed of. Sex toys for women are OK because millenia of male-dominated society was fought by feminism, creating both a celebration of female sexuality and a reactionary movement against that. Male sexuality is the same as it's always been, and it's still seen by many as a competition in which masturbating instead of going out and asserting it is emasculating.

Face it, after having enough food and water to survive, the next strongest instinct is to fuck. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be six billion of us, over 3.5 billion years after the first known life appeared on earth.

How eloquent. My thoughts exactly.

Ive never heard of this thing before, and it does strike me as a bit sleazy. I mean, if you dont use a wank sock, or a rubber johnny every time you use the thing, its gonna get abit messy inside.

I cant imagine it would feel like the real thing, I think it would just make me feel ridicolous, I'd just as soon as have a normal wank.

Addressing these, in order:

Haven't really heard of those two terms (although I hope they're as fun as they sound), but yes - as I stated way earlier in the post, the cleanup is a bit off-putting (as is the preparation). You think staying awake to cuddle is tough? Try cleaning and drying a rubber sleeve, then powdering it with corn starch before you doze off!

Of course nothing is going to feel like the real thing - but it's pretty darn close.

What's a normal wank? Fist grip? One hand or two? Left hand or right? Underhand or overhand? Dry? With lube? Water-based or oil-based? Shaft or Head? Knuckle babies or kleenex? There are as many ways to masturbate as there are people.

I find it funny that this thread, in so many instances, boils down to two camps - the "whatever floats your boat" vs "that's why God gave us hands, dammit."

I think - and it's been said many times in this post - the longer the thing is around, the more acceptance it'll find.

I'm surprised the comments are so across the board here, though. There was a thread about this a few years ago that was full of glowing recommendations:
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/tilted-...leshlight.html

.

What the Heck is a Rubber Johnny???

(See, this is yet another reason to love Strange Famous, he's so unique and has taught us Yanks sumthin' new almost daily!) :thumbsup:

That's why I had to respond - those were perhaps the most interesting two sentences I've read in a long time!

a rubber johnny is a condom

a wank sock I guess is self explanatory - basically something that teenage lads sometimes use to save having to clean up the mess

As for having a wank two handed... Christ! Im ashamed to admit Ive only ever need to use one hand!

Consumer Alert!
My boyfriend had a fleshlight and he said it fell apart - the latex or silicone lining came apart at the seams...take from that what you will. :p

Pfft, tell him to stop using Ajax as a lubricant.

Ashamed?
You must have one strong arm if you never have to switch hands! :)

When my honey first bought one I was, well we will just say, less than pleased. But then one night he used it on himself while going down on me...it was A-M-A-ZING! I don't know how else to explain it other than he said it felt really good and going down on me was turning him on more and his licking and sucking reflected as such.

Hmmm I think we need to break it out again.

Well I don't think it is more sleazy, maybe more messy. A vibrator is probably a lot easier to clean.

Say, could you can up your relationship and mail it over to me? I'm going to apply it to the next girl I go out on a meaningless date with so as to engage in the aforementioned hotness. I've been on a streak lately where the lame-ass girls don't even like receiving a generous tongue lashing. WTF, over?

Thanks.

This is just what I mean in the OP. Why is his buying a fleshlight somehow more offensive than you buying a vibrator?

I'm a dude, and I don't think I would use one. They're rather large, and do have that certain stigma, more so than a dildo. So I wouldn't want one standing tall on my PC desk.
But mainly, I'm perfectly satisfied with my hands.

I feel the same way about vibrators. Meh.

Because the fleshlight is supposed to mimic a vagina or other orifice. Its almost like being replaced when in a relationship. I have a perfectly good vagina that is in full working order and is at his disposal any time.

Now as for vibes, nothing on him vibrates, so I am not replacing him with something that does the same thing he can. And while you may say that I could just as easily get my pleasure from his tongue, I say his tongue is not long enough to reach my clit while I am riding him cowgirl style. Enter vibrator! Does the job that I can't seem to get done with sex or fingers alone.

He can jerk off with his hands and get an orgasm...I am incapable of getting myself off with out his tongue or my handy dandy vibe. Thus while I do not think buying a fleshlight is more offensive than buying a vibe, it was a bit of a shock when one showed up and I was not told that it would be.

You know, Starkizzer brings up a good point.


It's women that perpetuate the sleazy stereotype. They know that if every guy had a fleshlight, we'd have no need for women. Ever.

I'd be less concerned about an "equal" substitute than I would about an item that could do something I could not.

Yes, but my vibe can't kiss me or cuddle with me soo...fiance wins by a long shot. Plus nothing can replace him.

I think I should clarify that at the time he purchased it, not only did he not inform me of it first, but I was at a point in my life where I did not have good self esteem. I was at my heaviest and I was just in a bad place overall. My own insecurities (and I stress again that the problems were from my end) made me think that I was being replaced, I didn't understand why he would want to have anything to do with me.

Though now thinking back to the time when he purchased me my first vibrator and dildo, I was a little taken a back by that act as well. Guess I just don't take surprises well.

Oh and I like to poke the fleshlight it feels really cool. :thumbsup: Though hes used it like 10 times and now it sits in our closet unused except for the times I want to poke it... :lol:

***ERRRRRRR*** Sorry, would you like to phone a friend?

This is the single biggest cause of and symptom in Typical Relationship Problems (TM).

Sex is far too often a weaponized commodity.

And for some reason, people seem to think it's a zero-sum game. I go down on her twice, she owes me 3 BJs. She agrees to try anal, I have to let her peg me. Even somewhere as allegedly progressive, open-minded, and enlightened as TFP, this kind of stuff is still pervasive.

Don't read so much into that one phrase of words. Simply a knee jerk reaction to an unexpected purchase. Aside from a few sex toys that were gifts between us, all sex toys have been discussed and purchased together. Plus I already explained and took full claim of my state of mind at the time, which btw was 3yrs ago.

No phoning a friend for me, so I still have all my life lines. :lol:

Honestly, I think they need to make stress relief balls out of the material that the fleshlights are made out of. They feel really awesome, and now that I have had the chance to poke and play with one first hand I know why guys like them...hell dildos don't feel as nice. Granted the "flashlight" cover does nothing but draw more attention. :rolleyes:

I agree. Only in my relationships it's usually him withholding. :shakehead:

I have no problem with masturbation since I own one of those clitoral vibrators myself but I would never buy my bf a fleshlight. Don't know why but if I buy a sextoy it should be something we both can have fun with.

i dont think its any more sleazy....

i would laugh just as hard if i found a vibrator at a female friends house as I would if I found a fleshlight at a male friends house...

its not wrong i would just think it was funny if i saw it

Yeaaah... you're doing it wrong. You have the commodity. If he doesn't want it, someone else will gladly do a wide range of things to get it.

...

Alright, this kinda attitude really gets me miffed. The one-sided (or two sided, perhaps) crotch lockdown is fucking ridiculous.

Example: You're a guy in a relationship. Your female partner doesn't want you to masturbate unless she's there or doesn't want you to masturbate period... the only masturbation you're going to be doing, buddy, is when you're using her body. And your female partner? She doesn't masturbate unless you're fucking her or perhaps at all anymore. Since she gets all-serving The Cock, why would she possibly need to engage in self love? Right? Total shameful 1940s housewife logic. It isn't about pleasure, it's about control.

Silly. It's like mentally putting your dick in handcuffs and giving the key to your bitch partner.

...

When I'm in a relationship... I'm going to masturbate. All the time. She'll be at work, I'll be at work... she'll send a naughty email and I'll need to bludgeon the Crompbat down to manageable size before the presentation or heading out to lunch. I'll be thinking about my partner or I'll be spanking it to an adult entertainer I wouldn't give the time of day to in an attempt to avoid acquiring an STD, but it doesn't matter because my loyalties lie with my partner. I'm not shoving a stiffy in a Craigslist hookup. Turns out masturbation is fantasy and release. I'd expect my partner to do the same. If my partner is incapable of enjoying fantasy and experiencing release... there are bigger issues than sexual compatibility at play here.

Relationships joined at the hip don't work. Relationships joined at the crotch especially don't work.

...

I get the feeling a lot more people operate like that than will admit to it. And they wonder why they're unhappy with their sex lives.

Fight the power. Masturbate constantly.

/nonsense post

You know vibrators don't do much for guys. Some women like to use them while having sex, to stimulate the clitoris, and that's fine. Who wouldn't want their pleasure-nub rocked at 20+Hz?

For us, they're usually a piece of hard plastic that kind of gets in the way and pokes us in the belly when we thrust in. And it's loud.

Don't get me wrong, I love seeing a woman having an amazing time when she's with me, and I'd love to try it with those fingertip vibrators, but vibrators don't add more fun to sex than any other sex toy, if the mood is right and if both people are having fun.

Trust me, between a plastic sleeve and a woman, we're not gonna ever replace real sex with you for a fleshlight. Let him have his fun when you can't have fun together.

The idea of male masturbation really turns me on, so I think that colors my opinion of the fleshlight. My guy doesn't seem that interested in getting a fleshlight, I felt like a weirdo for getting all excited when I discovered it. I called him in and was pointing to all the different configurations he could have. His reply:

"Why do I need that when I have you?"

Because it's freaking awesome, that's why.

He did happen to see a commercial about The Egg recently, and now wants one of those. I'd rather get him a clear fleshlight. I'd really like to watch it moving through there.