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Interracial Relationships
A friend of mine and I were talking the other day about dating somebody of a different ethnicity than ourselves, specifically thinking about how our families and friends would respond. I personally wouldn't mind dating someone of a different race but I'm pretty sure my parents would be up in arms about my dating anyone non-white, especially if I married this girl and had kids. I have no idea how my friends would respond.
What say you TFP? Would you be against dating inter-racially and how do you think your family and friends would react? |
love is love. And if you are lucky enough to find it, it should matter little whether they are black, white, asian or tobogo islander.....
nuff said. |
I'm white. Had an asian girlfriend. My family didn't care as long as I was happy.
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Different parents have different views. In my experience, there's a hierarchy of races, and certain races are less acceptable to parents than others.
Honestly, in this day and age it isn't a big deal, but there'll always be a couple of people who don't like it, and the majority probably don't care. If the day comes that my child dates someone of another race, I'll probably focus more on his/her temperament and background more-so than his/her race. |
Any difference that matters to your family can make an impact.
I married a white male. I am a white female. My husband is Catholic. I was raised Mormon. Parents took some time to get over this religious hangup. Parents love you pretty much no matter what. Friends should do the same. Stereotypes are meant to be shattered. Don't destroy a good thing by worrying what family and/or friends will think. |
I am white, she is Filipino. My family fully accepted her as a member. Some days I think my folks like her more than me.
My "friends" were another story. Within a few months of starting to date her, I lost all contact with just about all of them. I always knew they talked trash about other races but it stunned me initially when they cut me out. Obviously no big loss on my part. |
I'm white, she's mostly Navajo. I never realized for a long time (like, after we were married) that we were an 'interracial couple'...just that she was hot!
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Catholic married to a jew. Filipino married to a white girl.
so what? we get more looks from other ethnicities than from either of our parents. |
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http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i1.../nelson6mu.gif We must ostracize you ... you ... you ... you bad person you ... must make you into an outcast!!! Seriously, I absolutely have no idea why some things can not be looked past. The thing is, I don't get this from just my parents but most of the people I used to conisder friends. I think I have grown up a bit to have severed contact with those idiots. When will some people realize that you can never know someone simply by their race?! |
My parents and family wouldn't bat an eye, and it wouldn't make a difference to me one way or the other.
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I've dated blacks, bi-racial men, hispanics and Indians. It's a big, liberal city. Nobody batted an eyelash at me. Inter-racial couples aren't even worth comment about here and the kids are universally acknowledged as gorgeous.
My parents, on the other hand, not so thrilled. |
Dating would be fine. My personal issue is that if I had kids, I would want them to look like me. I have yet to see a biracial child that looks like the white parent. It shouldn't bug my supposedly enlightened self, but it would. For us rational empiricists, our children are our only shot at immortality, so carry on the family resemblance. I don't know, maybe if I had mixed kids the scales would fall away from my eyes, but that is how I feel now.
What if you had a sperm donation, and they gave you the wrong sample? Husband's impotent, they secretly get pregant through clinic, and the baby is the wrong color? |
I've never dated someone who wasn't white, but I'm not opposed to the idea per se. At this point Magpie might be, but if we ignore that aspect (ie if hypothetically I were single) I don't think such things would matter.
The content of a person's character is much more important than the colour of their skin. |
Personally I don't have anything against such relationships but (even if I wasn't married), I think I'd be unlikely to have one myself. I just am attracted to white girls more than others. I can't say it would never happen, but I'm yet to meet to many non-whites that I'm hugely attracted to.
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I had a thing for asian girls until I dated one in high school.
And I'm latino, which isn't unusual for asians and latinos to date out in the East Los Angeles area, since that's all that's out here. Actually, it's hard to find white people in that area :) |
new man, you want pics? I can show you a family so large that I believe I am somehow related to all races possible.
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When I was dating the asian, when we were at China Town, we got so many looks (mostly negative) from the asians there it was ridiculous. She actually felt bad and wondered if it bothered me. It didn't. Screw them.
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there is a difference when you say race and ethnicity. For example, I am Portuguese, of latin heritage, but I would not call myself a 'Latina'. But then I am of Portuguese origin, so ethnically, I am bound to the group of people who share my heritage. So I am in a way a 'latina'. Would this be more relating to Spanish-speaking people? I would tell you I'm white-skinned, which I suppose is, in part, my race. Race encompasses more biological inherited features, whereas ethnicity encompasses culture and belief systems.
So, when asked about inter-racial relationships, my first reaction is, I have never been in one. But if I were to be considered 'latina', then I have dated many 'white' guys. It's almost funny to think about. Basically, this never crosses my mind . I can say that I have been attracted to men of other ethnicities and races in my life. Doesn't bother me. Could happen one day. But generally I am more often attracted to white men. I have no idea how my mom would react. She might not expect it I guess, but she'd be ok with it I think. |
i always said that when i marry my polygamous 2nd 3rd and 4th wives, they'd have to all be of different ethnicities. one asian, one anglo and one i havent decided yet.
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I'm a Southerner, and I married a Geordie - does that count as inter-racial?
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I have not problem with it, and I'm pretty sure my mom would outwardly approve while concealing the fact that she felt uneasy about it until she got over it. She grew up in a different time, and while she's smart and educated, ingrained things are hard to get rid of, but she can consciously overcome it. I'm pretty sure some people in my extended family would silently disapprove of me with a black girl, but to be perfectly honest, their opinions are in the hierarchy of things I give a shit about just below what my broken Magic 8-Ball says.
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I have a good friend who is white and is a quadrapalegic (might be misspelled, to lazy to care). He was dating a black girl pretty seriously and wanted to marry her. He went to meet her parents to progress the relationship. Her parents pitched a royal fit over her choice - not because she would spend the rest of her life helping care for a disabled person....but because he was white. She broke it off shortly there after. Really sad.
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I don't understand folks who won't date someone of another ethnicity (or religion for that matter). Why cut yourself off from the billions of opportunities in the world? ---------- Post added at 04:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:10 PM ---------- Quote:
:thumbsup: |
It's one thing to not date a person of another race purely because they are of another race than it is to simply be not attracted to a particular skin color and/or physical features.
I'm not attracted to very dark skin and African features at all. However, tanned looking girls with european facial features can be quite hot. Serena Williams? No thanks. Christina Milian? Yes, please! |
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the only problem I have with interracial relationships is the people that like/ date other of a certain race because of some sort of obsession, "fetish", status etc etc
liek the person for who they are not what they are.....too much times I have seen people turn down someone because they are not the race they want.... ---------- Post added at 05:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:57 PM ---------- Quote:
if you are not korean, japannese or chinese and are dating one your dating life will turn into a Zoo exhbit where ever you go |
now thats inscrutable.....
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i have no issues with interracial relationships. it does become an issue with arab families a lot though. even arabs marrying non arabs, or lebanese marry lebanese are issues depending of where you come from. lebanese are racist against their own people. its a strange world we have |
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We have many inter-racial marriages in our family. So many, that if any family member does object, they are probably afraid to open their mouth to protest. That would be a quick way to be 'forgotten' around here when the next family potluck invites get mailed. I know they wouldn't be on my guest list.
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I personally have no problem with interracial dating/relationships/sex/whatever. My parents would accept it if I brought home someone of a different race, although I can imagine they might not be thrilled. My extended family, on the other hand....yeah, they'd have a problem with it. My grandparents in particular have a problem with anyone who's not white straight Protestant, which is why they've not been informed that my brother is gay and I'm dating a Jew. I'm not close with my extended family, though, so their approval has no bearing on my decisions.
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Being from toronto where everyone seems to come from everywhere but toronto, I have ended up dating a persian girl (me being white). Both our families are cool with it.
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Doesn't matter to me, and I know it wouldn't to my family either.
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I am Caucasian, (German/Scottish background) married to an Oriental girl (Han / Chinese) with three sons. At first there was more resistance from her side with the racial admixture, as my side of the family was already jaded by the ethnic mixing of british/german ethnicities. But her family is well onside now, and 2 more daughter married Caucasion as well. My friends? Well, being from Toronto, they could care less, as this city is a city of mixtures... |
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This is about you and your happiness. Stop thinking about what your parents want and start focusing on your happiness. The rest will settle itself out.
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from your location I am guessing you live downtown if you goto to markham or richmond hill etc etc OMG the looks one gets get he is with a chinese or korean girl |
I'm Chinese Buddhist w/French/Irish/English Canadian Catholic. Her grandparents were the most resistant and my parents gave up on me marrying/dating Chinese ages ago...LOL!
Growing up in New Brunswick in the 70's and 80's, I've grown quite a thick skin to jeers, whispers and such. In 2005 we took a cross Canada road trip and it was her first time experiencing of blatant bigotry and at times was quite uncomfortable when we had to fill up, stop to eat, etc, in the smaller towns. In a small town in Alberta, we were having lunch in a quaint cafe and a woman discreetly slipped a note to me that we had 5mins to eat up, pay get out. When we got to Calgary to see my sister and her husband (white), it was my wife and I that got more attention than my sis and her husband when the Calgary Stampede was going on and the "good ol' boys" flocked in. Religious differences aside, IME/HO, it's more of a challenge when it's the male that's of "color" in an interracial relationship. Can't we all frikken get along...LOL! |
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education is vital, if only to open up your (and your parents) mind to understand other ways of life. if only for your sake. at the end of the day, a muslim is the same as the next person. we all want the same thing. believing in a certain religion does not make someone a monster. i certainly do not have those traits that your parents speak of, and quite frankly find it quite offensive. as for your friends, i'd drop them in a flash if they were treating you and your relationship in that fashin |
I am white and married to a black guy, no one really seems to care unless we go to a super small towns with close minded people. We just as a general rule avoid going to little shit towns like those.
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I've dated women of other ethnicities before and have no problem with it.
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I'd imagine a more 'response provoking' question would ask, "How do you feel about other ethnicities dating women of your race?" I thought actinic brought up a good point. Most men will be ok with their own race dating other ethnicities, but when it comes to other men dating their ethnicity, ire arises.
Then again, guys tend to be competitive and consider some attractive woman's boyfriend inferior to themselves... |
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Every time I see a thread with something like this in the title, is about the only time I actually consider/realize that I'm in an interracial relationship.
It simply doesn't matter. Hasn't for the last 4 years. Just came back from a trip to Japan, to meet my gf's other side of the family, and even there I didn't notice a single person looking twice at me for not being Japanese. My cousin is dating a black girl; And my niece (other part of the family) hangs out & has dated several spanish guys. And we all grew up in a little shit-village as so eloquently put by somebody earlier in this thread. I suppose if you let it bother you, ... |
It is social behavior evolved out of so many generations. It has a purpose.
Now the power of YOUR love can beat it :) |
As someone who is half black/white, every relationship I've been in has been with someone of a different race. :) I have dealt with prejudiced comments and outright slurs from people I'm blood related to, so I can say I have enough varying viewpoints to confidently say that all of it is silly and if you love someone go love them. Other people and their reactions are something to consider, but only for your reaction to them, not a reason to not pursue things with someone not like you or what someone else wants for you.
EDIT: Removed response to belle_enigma because I didn't finish reading the thread and I'm a terrible person that can't read good and stuff. |
As a parent, with several married children, I must say that no one seems good enough for your child while they are dating, particularly if they have a stormy relationship. But if they love your child, and treat him/her well, pretty soon they become good enough in your parental heart. What a parent really wants is for their child to be/ to find happiness. Some differences in a mate will not fit the image in a parent's mind, but that will be overcome when the child is happy with their mate over time. That's my experience.
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I have dated may girls of other races. They were filled with the same joys and sorrows of any other relationship. The only odd momemts were suplied by my own family when they awkwardly went out of their way to show how cool they were with me dating a black girl. My ex just laughed and said that they were just trying to be nice. It was a bit uncomfortable. Had we dated longer I am sure all would have been normal.
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I'm Dutch Protestant, and my fiancee is Jewish. We haven't had any issues from the friends, but it definitely has taken the family a while to warm up to us! Fortunately, she's amazing, so they're coming around :)
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as an asian, i pretty much ONLY date inter-racially. I am not around a strong asian community so I have always dated caucasian men. I don't see a problem with it and I haven't noticed anyone bothered by it. I think it is more "accepted" for an asian female to date a caucasian male, however. If it were the other way around it might be different.
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Following the, "Oriental Girl" phenomenon, I am a first generation Chinese Canadian and I have never really given thought about the "inter racial couples". It is just normal. When my parents met my boyfriend, they thought he was just a normal white guy. I never really bothered to tell them his cultural background; i didn't think i needed to. My friends are as diverse as the city is and I never really thought about it.
Later, my parents realized that he was mostly Scottish and a bit Aboriginal; had they not already had a good impression of him, things could have gone really differently. I wouldn't say that my parents are consciously racist, but they do have little racists moments that come out that i call out on. I honestly believe that it is because they grew up in a different time and even when there are individuals that "stereotype" mould, there are always excuses for them. And this goes for many people, not just my parents. In my large extended family, I am the only one who is in a serious relationship with a non-Chinese person. I don't know what they think of him, but I think the world of him and I love him dearly and that is all that matters. (Though, my grandma did say that I "had tons of time to find a nice chinese boy" at the first impression, but has changed her opinion since) |
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