Well with me, I never cared how many people guys were with and honestly I never asked. Then again, I never wanted a real relationship with any of them. Now my current fionce, I would have had an issue with more then 1 honestly. Only becuase there are so many loose and nasty skanks that live in the town that we do, and I do not like sloppy seconds of someone else. Lucky for me, I got a virgin :-) One that was addicted to porn, but a virgin none-the-less :-) And so was I, so it worked out better. I dunno maybe I would have thought different if I had not been a virgin?

I spit water everywhere. I hope you're happy. :p

That seems like an incredibly disturbing double-standard you've got working there.

If a male had said that, he'd be crucified for sexism and all manner of other things by the women folk. Very interesting.

Canadians are so cute when they try to pretend they are different from US citizens, but other than higher gas prices, French no one reads, and better Walleye fishing, someone would have to tell you you crossed the border to really notice it.

Which leads into this....

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Canada: America's hat.

I travel frequently for work and personal reasons to the US and if you did the same you would not make this statement because it is simply not true. end threadjack.....



back to the actual thread, i am having a hard time digesting what seems to be huge double standards. too each is own i guess, did worlds king comment yet in this thread? we could use his wisdom!!!

Yes I've never been to Canada multiple multiple times :rolleyes:

I find no more diversity traveling to places like Miami or Dallas then I do traveling to Canada from Chicago.

funny you name cities but refer to places in canada as just "canada"....... not everyone lives in toronto, vancouver or montreal.... if you travel outside common destinations you'd see that we are very different.

since you've never been to canada multiple, multiple times i don't expect you to know that.

i don't think we should discuss this any longer, this thread is not about whether you have or have not been to canada multiple, multiple times.....

I'd want to know. In fact, I do know. And they know my count as well. It's not such a big deal to me to have that knowledge... my reaction has never been "Oh, no, you were with other people before me! Boohoo!" I expected it and in my situation knew it anyway. :)

Regardless of Gender?

I may be wrong but the 'madonna-whore' complexities seem to be alive and kickin.

I love how I put an 'out' or disclaimer on this.

I feel old.

I let one of the best girls ever to have been in my life get away because her "count" and recent promiscuity prior to our interest in one another scared me away. It was a very big mistake. I'm not likely to make it again, though since I'm not with her I met the girl I'm going to marry, so it's not necessarily a bad thing, but definitely an important safety tip. It's something to be aware of, probably, for safety reasons, but it's not a good reason to decide not to be with someone.

I'm not one to apply stereotypes to people, or I try not to. I must confess though that a guy with a very high count would scare me away at first - though that doesn't mean I wouldn't give him a chance. The reasons are simple:

a) STD's
b) I've only had a couple of partners and I'd feel pressured on what he expects
c) Condescendence on his part (if we get that far into the relationship where h'es more comfortable) because of my lack of experience

That's all. I don't think it matters if you're going for something serious with the other person.

On the other hand, to flip things around - I sometimes worry when meeting new guys I fancy because I think once they know, they may find my lack of experience odd or a turn off - it's just the way my life has turned out, and the fact that I don't like to have sex with just any guy (I'm picky and emotional lol).

I don't feel it should be an issue, but if we're honest, of course people think about it! What matters is what you're comfortable with, all these PC ideas about not judging people is pointless, because we all do really, in one way or another.

Experience to some means damaged goods to another.

You know, I just realised, no one has mentioned the Kevin Smith film "Chasing Amy" yet, hehe.

Kinda deal with the same idea as this thread.

It does matter to me. I doubt it would though if my number weren't zero.

I would like to get with another girl whose number is zero, and it would be nice from the standpoint that there would be no jealousy or wondering if they still have feelings or comparing each other to their past partners. It is not exactly easy finding these girls outside of a church or nunery however.

Maybe it is because I have no idea how good relationships work that it matters to me, but I'm sure it would cause problems if our numbers were different.

(I love Chasing Amy) :thumbsup:

And there you go. I think that is what the OP was questioning. Trying to determine if having sex with someone puts you at risk for STDs or if the person you want to make a life with is worthy because they have had more partners than your personal belief system allows are two different animals.

On the other hand, if your first time is with someone who has experience, it'll be a lot more fun for you.

Absolutely. My first time with my ex was horrible (we were both virgins). My first time with ratbastid was amazing-- as was the first time with lurkette, my first girlfriend-- and it was their experience that made all the difference. (I like them more, too; I know that has something to do with it, but the experience did facilitate matters.)

Not if I can't control my thoughts about their previous partners, what happened in their relationship, why did it not work, am I good enough...?

The sex part is the easy part. It doesn't have to be the best sex ever if it is our first time, and there will be many more times to get better and try new things that neither of us have done before. (And that gives me an idea for a new thread.)

I think the number of recent "unprotected" would mean more than the actual number. Even if cleared by an STD test, it doesn't catch them all.

This was just the thing healer and I discussed the other day... It's amazing how i only came across this thread now.

But yeah, kind of a motto that we and most of our friends try to live by is..."just be happy you're getting it now!"

that being said i kinda think 70 by the time you're 23 is quite a number :) wow. and all be she experienced...i still think it's kinda wow. but who am i to judge...maybe she just likes sex...like me, although my number remains at ten including healer. healer being number ten :D

so, healer was saying how disappointed he was in his younger self because he was so shy and when he went on a basketball tour with the Eastern Province guys and girls team how he coulda played kisses with almost all those girls but he was too slow and shy...

and that got me thinking about my "experience". and i felt dirty all of a sudden :D

and healer told me, as long as they had to work for what they got and i wasn't freegiving and all of that :) LOL

i don't know where i'm going with this but yeah, anyways...

i for one am happy that healer was a virgin when i met him. it was refreshing in a way to have someone pure who "waited" for me and in turn sometimes i wish so badly that i could take it all back and have waited for him too.

but i guess what it does boil down to is experience and the mistakes you made you learn not to make them again.

i'm grateful that healer is the man he is when it comes to this kind of thing. and it's because of him that i am at peace with my whorish self :D lol

ok, now i'm just typing anything that comes into my head, so i'm going to stop now :D

that was just my two cents : thumbsup:

Well, to be honest, that has everything to do with you, and nothing to do with them. Get a hold of your insecurity, because in my opinion, that's not the kind of base you want to build a relationship on. You want to build it on mutual trust and respect for the other person and his/her past experiences, not how you "measure up" to that past. That's maturity--being confident enough in yourself and what you're worth to not get hung up on how you compare to the last dude.