how do you bring this up?
 

ok i've dating this great girl for about 2 weeks and it's goin great, but there are two small issues i have that i dunno how to bring up with her.

first issue: she layers on her makeup a bit thick. i mean, that sounds kinda weird, but she shines, very literally, when she puts her makeup on. she's shiney in the light i mean. i've seen her many a time without makeup on and she's a lot better looking with only a little bit of makeup, not her usual over application, which by the way is very easy to feel when making out. how do i be diplomatic about asking her to tone that down? it gets to me a little bit, but it just seems kinda blunt to be like "hey, put on less makeup."

second issue: now this one is bugging me. i have seen a lot of girls who have a "happy trail" as i've heard it called. for those who don't know what i'm talkin about, it's the sorta trail of pubic hair that leads from right above your genitals to the navel. some people i hear find it attractive. me, i definitely don't. my girl has it and i definitely wanna ask her to shave or wax it off. but this is an area i definitely don't wanna fuck up addressing....seems to me that might just offend her. a lot. i mean, i'd be kinda embarassed if she asked me to give my pubes a new do cuz she didn't like how they were. please, give me an idea how to, again, diplomatically ask her to tone that down?

these are both pretty minor things, so i don't wanna come across as shallow or vain or something. i'd just like to let her know how i feel without offending her.

Rule #1. Compromise. Do not ask her to change if you are not willing to at least do the same .. or meet her half way. So make your request with your razor in hand .. and if you are a brave man, you'll let her do it for you.

As for the first, either say something outright, or be smart in making things happen - ie tell her to go take a bath, shower, relax ... and then do the making out after the makeup's come off naturally.

Two weeks isn't very long to start making many changes about a person. And these are appearance changes so tread with caution.

The make-up part is easy. Tell her that you love her natural look when she's not wearing make-up. Don't tell her while you're out or whatnot. Just if you're sitting around and she isn't wearing make-up say, "You are beautiful, I love seeing you natural." Or something like that.

As for the happy trail, well later on offer to shave her if you're taking a shower together. Problem solved...until it grows back. ;) But don't make it sound like it's a bad thing. Always feed the ego while being honest. There are always at least 2 ways to tell the truth. If you aren't in sales...good luck.

Shesus said it all.

Another option is to buy her a makeover. Most women love having their hair done and make-up applied. Be sure to gush and oooh and ahh over it though so she wants to recreate the look.

Offer to shave it off for her definately, make it seductive and be sure to give her the lick of her life after!

Holy shit girl, you knock 'em dead... right good advice, there. :thumbsup:

Two weeks??? I think any suggestions at all would be way premature. After just two weeks I would still view any dating relationship as casual. Maybe casual but with sex, or casual but with possibilities, but still casual.
And I really like the no make-up look myself--I rarely wear any at all except a little lipstick. But if someone that I had been dating for two weeks suggested that I should start wearing more make-up I would be more than offended.:mad: At age 29 I've met a few "control freaks," and it always starts out with some minor little thing "for my own good."

Like I said, I don't really even like make-up. I find that most men either don't care or don't like it, but to some women, it is really important. I have an aunt who looks like she puts on make-up with a trowel-:eek:-but she wouldn't take out the trash in the morning without putting on make-up first. She just doesn't feel dressed without it. This would be an interesting thread in the Ladies Lounge.

With your permission, I'll re-post your opening in the Ladies Lounge--men can read, but can't post there--and you should get some interesting perspectives. I think that is all right to do, I've seen it done before. If not, I guess the Mods can remove it.
Lindy

Yeah, but... what if she's pretty much perfect apart from that? If those are things she's unwilling to compromise on, then he may want to move on.

For example: while it's normally not the first thing a couple thinks about, I ask a girl right away what her feelings about kids are. For the most part, I've known my girlfriends' positions on kids before I started dating them- that's how early I brought it up. Some things are kind of important, some are deal-breakers... there's no point in dragging things out and letting her develop feelings while you're hoping you'll eventually be able to get her to shave her happy trail.

Considering you've only been dating for 2 weeks, it's not really your job or your right to come out and tell her what she does wrong. To be honest, it does sound like you are being a little bit picky!

Take a bath with her. While you are in there, ask if you can shave/trim her. By doing that, you turn the problem into hot sex!

Analog has a point, if something is going to be an issue between two people, it's best to address it before feelings develop.

Control freak?

Everyone finds flaws in everything, including yourself; some people arn't brave enough to voice them though.

As for the make up issue I think it's more of a compliment then a complaint. He is saying that he is attracted to the girl, not the makeup, and that he likes her natural. In my opinion it's very hard to find someone you are extremely attracted to when they are o-natural. Comfortable love is hard to find.

As for the hair issue. Pick your battles dude. If it is that big, it's fine to encourage grooming, but don't tell her it freaks you out. Pick your battles. And a Treasure Trail certainly isn't World War Three... it's more of a classroom debate. I say leave it be.

Hope that helps

PMF21 and his two cents

One way to address the make up thing is to gently complain if she gets it on your clothing--that way you're not complaining about *her*. And yes, gently and repeatedly mention how lovely she looks natural. She may be over-doing her normal level of work to impress you in a way, you know?

The other item I can't think of anything more than what's been offered here already. But I wil say that *you* better be trimmed nicely too!

I do think that two weeks is too soon to be trying to change someone. How would you feel if she tried to change things about you at this stage? I personally think that's not up for discussion until you guys are past the dating stage. Believe me, I'd not rearrange anything about myself for every guy I'd date for a few weeks.

Shesus knows her stuff, listen up! Advice for this doesn't get any better.

Right on the button there girly girl...

Shesus is right, to start making changes in your partner after two weeks of seeing eachother isn't a very long time. but you could just be as honest as you possibly can without making her feel bad. i mean, if it's really going great after two weeks, you don't wana spoil that.

eg. when healer and i first started dating we were both too scared to even touch eachother and as time went by we became more comfortable with it and when... ( this might be a bit too much info for you or for the others but it's a good example and i don't think he'd mind me telling this story in aid of someone else and neither do i) so, in the begining, i never used to shave (just trim) and the first time he went down on me i could tell it was a bit uncomfortable for him not to mention me(seeing as it was my first time that someone had done that to me) and when he was done, i layed back on the couch in awe of this man that had made me feel soooooooooooo good and he got up onto the couch and we sat there for a while in silence.

after that, ( i think it must've been on his mind during the silence and i bet he struggled, just as you are now, to tell me what he told me next.)

he looked at me and smiled and said " you know what would be so much better for both of us?" and i smiled and was eager to find out what i could do to make that experience better cos as far as i was concerned it could not have gotten any better so i asked him "what?" and without hurting my feelings or making me feel inadequate he told me, " if you shave"

i think the way it is said plays a huge role in how the person feels afterwards. body language, where you are and what you're doing at the time.

as for the makeup thing, all i can say is just ask her why it is that she wears so much make up and after she's told you, tell her she doesn't need to. make sure she knows though that you are not asking to make her feel bad, it's just something that was on your mind.

last piece of advice, wait a little longer though, like a month or two. i mean, if it's going so great then you two will still be together in a month or so...

i hope that helps you. good luck my friend:thumbsup:

Dude .. 2 weeks ... ?!

You probably wear too much calogne. Or do too much of something else. Let things progress before you try to change her - its better that way for sure.

Why would you remove so many potentially helpful responses?