SHE'S MOVING WITH MY SON!
 

Long story...I have custody of one son. My ex-wife has custody of our other son. We both live in Ohio. She's a complete nutjob and has a new man every 6 months. The flavor of the month lives about 60-70 miles away in Kentucky. My son told me that they were planning on moving in with him. She also has two other children with another guy from Ohio that she hooked up with after me. I think they share custody of them. I definitely don't want her to take my son further away. I have been trying to get custody of both for several years and last year they gave me one of them. Does anyone know what my position is legally? Either way, I need some advice. Thanks :confused:

Check your divorce papers and your custody papers. There might be a clause where she can not move with out your permission. It also works the other way around.

Re: SHE'S MOVING WITH MY SON!
 

It's so difficult to give advice, because it really ought to be up to the children where they want to be. It's hard enough on them as it is having their parents split up, but to be miles and miles away from each other can cause more heartache, confusion, etc. If the parents could put the children's opinions/feelings first, that's what matters- to have your children be as happy as possible.

The children are 7 and 9. I don't think they need the responsibility of choosing yet.

Talk to your ex-wife about it. Chances are your son might have mis-heard what is going on.

I thought that he might be mistaken at first but he went into detail about the neighborhood, the realtor and other specific info. I'll be calling her tonight but she never answers my calls.

Definately check out your papers. There are frequently clauses regarding moving children out of state. Once she's gone, though, it's gonna be hell to get them back. States frequently get pretty pissy with one another regarding jurisdiction and whatnot. I'd check those papers...then check with the attorney that drew them.

ya, but if their feelings aren't ignored and taken first priority, then they will be more happy- choices (for anyone) aren't easy, but not letting them share their feelings, ideas, and needs can lead to more pain.

Don't just check your divorce papers, look into local law. I know that I had to have my ex's permission to move the children more than 60 miles away.

I asked her about it the other day, she denied it. She said that her boyfriend was getting a new house but she wasn't moving there. I don't really believe her because my son that lives with her still thinks they're moving and other things point to it. I just hate to spend all the money retaining an attorney if I don't need to. Last time it cost me $2500 up front.

Consultation is free however. Set up an appointment, bring your papers and see what the lawyer says the options are.

get the attorney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what would the regret cost?

Do whatever you need, to be able to sleep at night. But I have a uncle who decide it was not the right time to take the battle on and let them move. BIG MISTAKE! He has not been able to see the kids for a long time now and still is forking out money because the some BS laws where she moved. I don't know the whole story but I don't think I wouldn't take a chance.

Some are free -- many are certainly not. I paid $250 for mine, but I quickly forgot the charge when I saw the results

More than likely, she would need your consent to move out of state (at least that is the law in my parts)

what is the age of the child you have?
I think that a family law judge would ask the children in private which parent the child whishes to go. But I beleive it is ultimitly up to the judge.

it's been some time since this thread was started. Do we have a followup? I'd like to hear how this turned out.

So far, nothing has happened. She hasn't moved or made any changes that I know of. I'm waiting to see what's going to happen.

Inaction is the worst choice available. Talk to a lawyer to see what your options are. If you wait for her to act, it may then be too late.

I've already spoken with an attorney. He said that she needs the courts permission to relocate my son. If she moves out of state, she can be charged with kidnapping and lose custody.

Maybe the kid didn't know and was just relaying something that he heard and misunderstood.

"If the parents could put the children's opinions/feelings first, that's what matters- to have your children be as happy as possible."

i don't really agree... the children can make the wrong decision.. they can be influenced easily... they may even choose a worse life because she offers them bright and shiny new things...

That really sux man, wish you luck

To wrap this up...I think she realized what she was getting herself into. She backed off the move thing and actually broke up with the boyfriend that she was moving in with. I don't know if it's better or worse but she moved back in with her ex husband (not me). That'll last for at least a few weeks.

revive the old thread....The psychopath re-broke-up with her ex-husband and out of nowhere moved out of state with the ex-boyfriend and took my son with her. I just found out a couple of days ago and I'm trying to get together with an attorney. My regular attorney can't get me in for a month so I'm looking for another. I'll go through my paperwork again to make sure I'm up to date. I'm so pissed...he has changed schools 6 times and he's in the 4th grade.

Since she's up and left the state, without your permission, that's kidnapping. Do you even need to have a lawyer involved at this point? Can't you just go to the police?

it's a sucky situation for the children involved... I hope it works out for the best.

since she had custody of the boy, the police will not get involved immediately. This will have to go through the courts, unfortunately, and the judge has to determine that she violated the decree and/or custody order. She'll then be summoned to the court at her previous address and when they can't find her a bench warrant to appear will be sworn out. In the meantime you'll most likely have to hire a lawyer just to locate her at her new address. I wish you the best of luck.

This is a common misconception. Unless there are signed legal papers which state that the father has full custody of the child taken, the police can't act. This turns into a child custody dispute to be handled through the courts. On the bright side, now that she has pulled this crap, there are more grounds for granting custody of the other child to the father.

I'm still waiting for one of the attorneys that I've called to call me back. No news yet.

Wow.. this is really terrible. I wish you luck. I hope you make progress. I wish there was something I could do! I know I'll be watching this thread, so please keep us as up to date as you can (and feel comfortable doing).

I am sorry that you have to go through this. My best advice would be for you to contact an attorney, there are many free places that you can go to for a consultation. Or, if not, speak to a professional, someone who are give you positive pointers on how to prevent her from taking your child farther away from you. Good luck with this situation.

I met with an attorney. He's working on paperwork to give me temporary custody. I also just found out that she signed over custody of her other 2 kids to her other ex-husband. I can't believe I married that piece of shit.

I hope this is a sign that your attempt to get custody will be easier. The certainly could use a stable environment. I hoping for quick and painless resolution for you and your kids (at least no more painfull than it already has been). Keep us updated.

Even the best of us have placed our faith & hearts in the wrong hands. I feel for you.

I have a hearing scheduled in a few weeks for my request for temporary custody. My attorney tried to get it sooner but thats the earliest the court could schedule. I hoped to get him out of there before he made all new friends and settled in.

My thoughts are with you, Pdoubleop, hang in there!

Good luck with that, poor kid. Your ex sounds nuts. Let us know what happens.

Update...went to court for temporary custody. She brought recent report cards that showed he was doing good in school. Temporary custody request was dropped and now I have to wait until May for mediation. This is getting old.

what court did this? your state or her new state?

My state. In the county where the original custody was determined.

so i'm guessing that there was no original order in the custody direction about her having to keep him in state. that sucks ass.

I'm so sorry. :( I really hope this gets resolved in a way that's best for the children.
It's unfortunate that we still have such a bias towards women getting custody of children, even when the father may be a much better parent.

Didn't you say originally that she needed the court's permission to move out of state, or it's kidnapping?

How did that not factor at all into the temporary custody hearing?

I'm baffled.

A random attorney that I contacted told me that it would be illegal for her to take him out of state. I've since found out that wasn't true.

A refresher while I wait for the mediation date...

The psychologist we've been taking my son to has confirmed my assumptions. He's depressed about all of the moves she's made on top of everything else. The psych. said he needed a structured environment instead of what she's been putting him through. Also, since I started this process, the ex decided to take me back for more child support. I guess it's her version of revenge. That won't be decided until we go back to court to settle everything else though.

you need to be sure and get the psychologist to testify to the judge

PDOUBLEOP,
Hang in there, we are rooting for you. And thanks for the update. Things will all work out.

I very much appreciate the support from everyone. Thank you.

Well I think u should fight some more...brothers should not be spilt apart. plus if you have a full-time well playing job I don't see why you can't get them both!

There is a guy I work with him and his woman split and when they move apart he is going to fight for full custody for both his daughters, he has a full-time job that pays good, and his Ex doesn't even have a job!

We've gone through the mediation process. Nothing has been resolved. She wouldn't give me custody and I wouldn't accept anything less. Now it's time for a Guardian ad Litem to do an investigation. This is such an excruciatingly long process...