A little political poetry - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tophat665 · 02-10-2005, 06:15 PM

So I was driving home yesterday listening to Marketplace on the local public radio, and they were relating the sad event at HP. Yes, Carlie has hit the bricks, but $21 million makes quite a cushion. So that got me thinking about how many of the really rich people you hear about don't really seem to do all that much for their money, and this popped out. Yes, it's doggerel, but, to my mind, they're dogs:<blockquote><b>Mission Statement </b>

I want to get a pink slip just like Carlie Fiorina
I'd take my severance package and I'd move to Argentina
I'd buy a Hacienda, get a girl for the Cabana
I'd spend my summers farming dental floss in west Montana

I want to be derided in the press like Richard Grasso
For two hundred mil per annum I don't mind being the … bad guy
I'd say I earned the money and it wasn't so outrageous
A motivated CEO is always advantageous

I want to be indicted for malfeasance just like Kenneth Lay
I'd fire all my lawyers, live like royalty in Paraguay
I'd thank all my well wishers for the lovely letters that they sent
Just so long as they don't write to ask me where their pensions went

I want to fail in business in a manner that's spectacular
I'd run for public office and I'd mangle the vernacular
I'd sell votes to corporations, and I never would be hesitant
The country would go bankrupt, but at least I would be president

From all these fine examples I have culled my mission statement
From embezzlement and wire fraud will never be abatement
I couldn't stand to end my days enmeshed in corporate slavery
You gain the highest honors from chicanery, not bravery. </blockquote>I didn't see anything in the thread rules against this, but, if a mod feels it belongs elsewhere, say politics (not likely), humor, or Nonsense, I would not be put out if it were moved.

tecoyah · 02-10-2005, 06:20 PM

Dude.....that was sweet....I would say it belongs right here.
Where the hell ya' been

Tophat665 · 02-11-2005, 09:06 AM

Where have I been. Held up in traffic, I guess.<blockquote><b>Infrastructure</b>

Infrastructure
Makes the world a better place
puts a grin upon my face
walks on concrete, rolls on tarmac
catches flies, makes a statement

Give your props to the cherrypicker
the guy on the lines with the heavy belts
he's holding up traffic to make your world better
he's making a statement about the pace of consumption

Hurry up, dammnit, hurry home buddy
The news is just ending, and sitcoms are starting
He needs to get home, and he needs to be useful,
His wife is Suzanne and his kids are Skeeter and Alice
He's officious and pointed, but bears you no malice
He's bringing you water, he's bringing you cable
He's fixing your furnace and cleaning your ducts

And the long, looping lines are draped like a bunting
yet straight as a laser and humming with data
They're making a statement about freedom and fate
They're talking in lightning and bartering lives
They're holding up traffic to make your world smaller
They're wrapping the planet in sutures of bright aluminum

It's not an indictment, there isn't a crime
Maintain infrastructure, maintain friendly tones
With overhead lighting, the trains run on...

The trains run on...
The trains run on...
The trains run on time.

The trains run on Infrastructure

The trains run on you.</blockquote>
This is what happens when I listen to Cake while stuck behind a trash truck.

Actually, about twice a year something like that pops almost fully formed into my head. We'll see if I can dig anything else out of the cerebral nooks and crannies at some point, and I'll post it here.

Tophat665 · 02-11-2005, 11:15 AM

Some bad political haiku...<blockquote>Evangelicals
Did not evolve from monkeys.
Monkeys they remain.</blockquote>
There has got to be a better line to end that with. I will revise when I figure it out.

Aha! I have it:<blockquote>Evangelicals
Did not evolve from monkeys.
Have a banana</blockquote>

Amnesia620 · 02-11-2005, 11:20 AM

Nice work. Keep it up. Please...I've enjoyed thus far.

DJLaurieB · 02-13-2005, 01:39 PM

I think the haiku is juuuuuuuuuust fine.

Thanks for tipping me off to these.

Tophat665 · 02-28-2005, 09:57 AM

Not political, but, since we're supposed to get 10 inches of the white stuff, somewhat on my mind. Antother Haiku.
<blockquote>Snow falls on the pond
water touching on water
coming home again</blockquote>

Jeff · 02-28-2005, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tophat665

Some bad political haiku...<blockquote>Evangelicals
Did not evolve from monkeys.
Monkeys they remain.</blockquote>
There has got to be a better line to end that with. I will revise when I figure it out.

That's hilarious. I especially enjoyed that one.

vonstalhein · 03-24-2005, 04:13 PM

It's all about a little scathing satire sometimes. I certainly appreciate it, and i'll be looking out for more.

02-10-2005, 06:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	A little political poetry - and the rest of Tophat's versification. So I was driving home yesterday listening to Marketplace on the local public radio, and they were relating the sad event at HP. Yes, Carlie has hit the bricks, but $21 million makes quite a cushion. So that got me thinking about how many of the really rich people you hear about don't really seem to do all that much for their money, and this popped out. Yes, it's doggerel, but, to my mind, they're dogs:<blockquote><b>Mission Statement </b> I want to get a pink slip just like Carlie Fiorina I'd take my severance package and I'd move to Argentina I'd buy a Hacienda, get a girl for the Cabana I'd spend my summers farming dental floss in west Montana I want to be derided in the press like Richard Grasso For two hundred mil per annum I don't mind being the … bad guy I'd say I earned the money and it wasn't so outrageous A motivated CEO is always advantageous I want to be indicted for malfeasance just like Kenneth Lay I'd fire all my lawyers, live like royalty in Paraguay I'd thank all my well wishers for the lovely letters that they sent Just so long as they don't write to ask me where their pensions went I want to fail in business in a manner that's spectacular I'd run for public office and I'd mangle the vernacular I'd sell votes to corporations, and I never would be hesitant The country would go bankrupt, but at least I would be president From all these fine examples I have culled my mission statement From embezzlement and wire fraud will never be abatement I couldn't stand to end my days enmeshed in corporate slavery You gain the highest honors from chicanery, not bravery. </blockquote>I didn't see anything in the thread rules against this, but, if a mod feels it belongs elsewhere, say politics (not likely), humor, or Nonsense, I would not be put out if it were moved. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Last edited by Tophat665; 02-11-2005 at 09:07 AM.. Reason: Add to thread title.

02-10-2005, 06:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	Dude.....that was sweet....I would say it belongs right here. Where the hell ya' been __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

02-11-2005, 09:06 AM	#3 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	Where have I been. Held up in traffic, I guess.<blockquote><b>Infrastructure</b> Infrastructure Makes the world a better place puts a grin upon my face walks on concrete, rolls on tarmac catches flies, makes a statement Give your props to the cherrypicker the guy on the lines with the heavy belts he's holding up traffic to make your world better he's making a statement about the pace of consumption Hurry up, dammnit, hurry home buddy The news is just ending, and sitcoms are starting He needs to get home, and he needs to be useful, His wife is Suzanne and his kids are Skeeter and Alice He's officious and pointed, but bears you no malice He's bringing you water, he's bringing you cable He's fixing your furnace and cleaning your ducts And the long, looping lines are draped like a bunting yet straight as a laser and humming with data They're making a statement about freedom and fate They're talking in lightning and bartering lives They're holding up traffic to make your world smaller They're wrapping the planet in sutures of bright aluminum It's not an indictment, there isn't a crime Maintain infrastructure, maintain friendly tones With overhead lighting, the trains run on... The trains run on... The trains run on... The trains run on time. The trains run on Infrastructure The trains run on you.</blockquote> This is what happens when I listen to Cake while stuck behind a trash truck. Actually, about twice a year something like that pops almost fully formed into my head. We'll see if I can dig anything else out of the cerebral nooks and crannies at some point, and I'll post it here. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

02-11-2005, 11:15 AM	#4 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	Some bad political haiku...<blockquote>Evangelicals Did not evolve from monkeys. Monkeys they remain.</blockquote> There has got to be a better line to end that with. I will revise when I figure it out. Aha! I have it:<blockquote>Evangelicals Did not evolve from monkeys. Have a banana</blockquote> __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life. Last edited by Tophat665; 03-24-2005 at 07:06 PM..

02-11-2005, 11:20 AM	#5 (permalink)
Amnesia620 Forget me not... Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.	Nice work. Keep it up. Please...I've enjoyed thus far. __________________ For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

02-13-2005, 01:39 PM	#6 (permalink)
DJLaurieB Upright	I think the haiku is juuuuuuuuuust fine. Thanks for tipping me off to these.

02-28-2005, 09:57 AM	#7 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	Not political, but, since we're supposed to get 10 inches of the white stuff, somewhat on my mind. Antother Haiku. <blockquote>Snow falls on the pond water touching on water coming home again</blockquote> __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

03-24-2005, 04:13 PM	#9 (permalink)
vonstalhein Insane Location: Where You Live.	It's all about a little scathing satire sometimes. I certainly appreciate it, and i'll be looking out for more. __________________ No Win No Fee