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10-10-2003, 09:52 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Insane
Location: Land of milk and honey - Wisconsin
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Falling Away From You
I fall away from you, again
I sacrifice for you, again I mess things up for you, again I hate myself for you, again I feel alone for you, again I blind myself for you, again I seek the truth for you, again I lied to me for you, again I orgasmed for you, again I am a husk for you, again I open me for you, again I want our love for you, again I ask by name for you, again I curse your name for you, again I cut myself for you, again I hear your word for you, again I serve only for you, again (for those reading, who do you feel this is addressed to? I had someone certain in mind when I wrote it, but I want to gauge audience reaction)
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Doing my best not to end up like Kathleen Chang. |
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10-11-2003, 03:08 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Naughty Just Right
Location: Euphoria
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Well, this could be for a partner, or for oneself, or for God. However, I stumble on the orgasm part when reading it as addressed to God.
Good stuff.
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 In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus |
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10-12-2003, 09:22 AM
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#3 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: South of the border
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I'd say a partner, but maybe because that's the way I relate to it... though I can see how it can be for oneself as well...
I really liked your poem  its really good 
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"The weak are food for the strong, so die and let me feast!" - Makoto Shishio (RK) |
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10-12-2003, 11:10 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: Somewhere between the Havens and the Earth
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I feel it is more toward yourself. At least thats the way I would have writen it if i wrote it. Good work. Thank you.
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from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel |
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10-16-2003, 10:48 AM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Addict
Location: Boone, NC
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I agree with Angel, totally.
In forming my own opinion after reading your work and the opinions of others, I'd say it was to your current lover or your last lover. good stuff!
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"the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was making the world believe he didn't exist" -Kevin Spacey 'The Usual Suspects' |
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