Coping with stress
 

For the last couple years I have been living on pins and needles. I worry about every little thing and drive myself nuts. I am sure I can't be the only one who worries 24/7. I am 23 years old and I don't think I'll make 45 if I keep driving myself crazy like this. How do you guys do it? How the heck do some people just stay calm in almost all situations and don't worry. I'd give everything in my wallet right now to know and be like that.

personally....I lokk at this life in a way that makes undue stress unlikely.

Just understand life will be hard.....and thus be prepared for it. Then when its easy.....you can appreciate it far more.

Works for me anyway....now....about the wallet

I have come to realize that people who stress out about things usually have very little to stress about.

Please, my buns are toasted enough, no flames please.

I think that experience enables us to deal with stressors better.

My first college exam? I think my bowels filled with liquid. My 100th, or my last exam, piece of cake.
My first date? I was shaking. My third and fourth date? Coolio.

People are scared of the unknown. Fear causes stress. Educate yourself and the fear subsides.


I always say, "What is the worst that could happen?" and then laugh. Others do the same thing and cry.

Good to see those buns back, Ben....wait a minute...:hmm:

There is nothing in the world worth getting worked up over in big stretches. Insignificant instances of idiotry? Sure. Go with the emotion, but stress? Really?

In the end we're all going to die. Nothing you can do to prevent that and it could happen at any time. To me it's not the worst thing that could happen, but it's pretty damn bad. I mean, I won't get to hang out here anymore, right?

Therefore whenever something bad happens to me, I get a little pissy, throw a little tantrum and console myself with "Well, chum, it could be worse, you could be dead, right?"

If you don't care for that route, don't worry. You can follow my father's path - Stay wound up real tight for 40 some odd years and have yourself a serious heart attack. It mellowed his shit pretty quick.

I'll let you in on a li'l secret: If you can't do anything about it right now there is no point in worrying about it right now. Unless you have mysterious mental powers you can't make things happen or not happen by thinking about them a lot.
Have faith in the stability of civilised society, because it'll make most things work out just fine in the end.

Also, don't panic.

When i am stressed, i like to work out or go for a run. I lift the weights like they stole something. Also, i indulge in a little bit of puff puff give.

I like to charge right on head first (after a little mental debating), ignoring the consiquences and my feelings until a later date, at which point i can collapse into a nervous shivering ball and process what the fuck just happened.

Works suprisingly well actually. Most of the time.

I am a stresser. At one point the stress caused mental conditions-panic attacks, pinched nerves, bowel dysfunction, even infections. So I had to relearn a few things.
First and foremost, Worry is a needless action. If you aren't going to DO something about the source, then it doesn't warrant worrying. It serves no purpose, it's internal and it's damaging.
Second: Take honest control of the situation. Use assertiveness. No one can read your mind when you are stressing, so verbalize it, control it.
Third: Meditate. It doesn't have to be something out of an eastern culture handbook. Just sit or lie quietly, listen to your own breathing, visualize it and make a point to relax.
I am still a stresser-I'm high strung by nature. But by taking control of those things that trigger negative reactions, I eliminate those reactions or, at least, diminish them considerably.
Final thought: If you are not directly affected by things going on, just say Fuck It and know that there will always be wrongs, always be assholes and always be another day. Then eat a candy bar ;)

Ever feel like you have no control over worries going on in your mind? Would love to hear how those who posted already take control and maintain it over the worrisome mind.

As I stated, I take steps to control the worry, including acting on it.
Worry replaces the imaginings of the brain with negativities...rework the imagination and you eradicate most if not all the worry.
For a specific worry? Replace it. Read a book. Tell yourself all the good you do. Be aware of your limitations but know they can change if you work to change them.
1)Repeat to yourself, 'this worry is needless if I don't do something about it'. Then either do it or toss it and do something constructive.
2) Controlled breathing. Focus on breaths in and out and assign them colors-something soothing and healing on the inhale, something 'toxic' on the exhale. Visualize those colors as they come and go.
3)Exercise when the worry starts up. Concentrate on your movements and imagine the changes taking place.
None of this is a one-shot deal. It takes commitment and it takes while for it to become second nature-but it will come.

I agree with ng. I'm a worrywart by nature. I was on antidepressants for a year, and that really helped with the worry (I'm not suggesting getting on them, it was just a bonus side effect). Since I've come off them, I've found the worry coming back. I've had to literally make myself aware of the problem, realize there is nothing I can do about it at this very instant (usually at least), and concentrate on breathing or visualizing something pleasant. This usually happens before I fall asleep...during the day I'm usually busy or my mind is focused elsewhere. It has really helped me.

If you've been a cronic worrier for a few years, I'd suggest thearapy or a support group, as that always helps steer you in the right direction.

Also, meditation, yoga, tai chi, and exercise always help, and I"ve never heard anyone say they didn't help!

Third, you have to WANT to stop worring. I used to be the world's biggest worry-wart. I would fret about EVERYTHING- is my car going to explode? What happens if my dog dies? What if I get cancer? What if my house burns down? Is that noise outside my 3rd-story window a burgular? But, at some point I said to myself "I do not want to do this anymore" and that was the first step to stopping. You have to WANT to stop, not just feel like you should stop! And trust me, you can get over it, and you will feel SOOOO much better- it's like the elephant that's been standing on your chest for the past three years is finally gone, and you can really breathe again!

Doesnt help one little bit.

and I want to have a billion dollars, look like Christie Brinkley and be super smart - wanting it doesnt make it so...


Worrying about stuff that will probably not happen, like the house burninf down, isn't the same as worrying about real stuff... Stuff that can and does happen... and will happen...

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Best advice I can give you -- is to just write down your worries.. .sometimes putting it down on paper and facing it, you can rationalilze that it's not as bad as it seems, and you can often come up wiht solutions to what's bugging you.

Worrying is just a very bad habit to fall into. It's like a negative prayer. When you start to worry...tell your self "STOP". Why borrow trouble?

Sidewalk chalk. The gym. Staring at the ocean and breathing. Music. Long drives with sunroof open, foot out the window and loud music of choice. Going to the pub by myself and listening to the Irish singers. That's how I do it.

I am a compulsive worrier. Had to end up getting on a medication that sometimes helps with the big stuff. But it's the "littles" that get me. I try to redirect my mind until I can think about the situation rationally. Sometimes it works and sometimes I get more worried that I can't resolve the worry and my brain ends up spinning in circles. I wear "om" around my neck to remind myself to slow down, take a deep breath and relax. I'm a fidgiter and tend to play with my necklace a lot, so when people notice and ask me about it, I'm reminded again. Nothing works all the time. Worry is there to keep us on our toes, but when it gets overwhelming, it can be really frightening. If you're a fidgiter, you can try wearing or carrying something comforting or a reminder that it's okay to take a moment. Takes practice, though. Good luck.

I don't worry about anything, except one thing, the fact I don't worry about anything! Its good and bad I guess. I've had the "Fuck it" attitude for as long as I can remember. I don't care, and I care that I don't care. Thats the only thing I worry about. Although, I know I should worry about alot of things in my life, but I don't. Oh shit, now I'm worried!

Alright, amend my post to "I've never heard anyone say it didn't help except for malficent." And yeah, you might want a million dollars, but that is a want that you can't do anything about. Worrying is something you can be proactive about, something that you don't have to just "have." If you were born with only nine fingers, there's not much you can do to get a tenth one, even if you want to have a tenth finger. However, if you're a cronic worrier, and you go around saying "I should stop worrying, I need to stop worrying, I have to stop worrying, I MUST stop worrying" then you've just given yourself one more thing to worry about.

So, you have to want to stop. It's like exercising- your butt is not going to fit into those jeans until you decide you WANT it to- your brain is not going to stop spinning until you decide you want it to, and do things to take steps into that direction.

I used to worry and stress over everything-- things I could control, and things I could not. I had a hard time making decisions because I would try and figure out the senarios for everything. I believe that everything happens for a reason, we need to take what life gives us and try and learn from it. What I have learned is to 'let it go'. if you can't do anything about it-let it go. If it is after 5 pm or a weekend and you have issues that can only be dealt with during business hours-- don't think about them. if yo are feeling stressed talk about it, get physical exercise, and take control of what you are able too.