Settling for butt ugly girls: One cause of cheating/divorce?

[Jesus Pimp]

I was talking a close friend the other day about why some guys don't even try and settle down with butt ugly girls. The beauty is in the eye of the beholder saying came up of course. For a while my friend dated fat butt ugly girls but now is happy that he dating a cute attractive girl that hecheated on his last girlfriend for. He says that it was low self esteem and that a lot of guys tastes in women decreases as they get older. So they settle for what they can get. So is this one of many causes of cheating & divorce?

[shakran]

well speaking personally, I think that if you look at your girlfriend and the first thing you think is "damn I'm settling for a butt ugly girl" then you're probably too much of an asshole to be able to refrain from cheating no matter what kind of girlfriend you have.

But that's just me.

[Hanxter]

so put a bag over your head

[Peetster]

Relationships are far too complex to sum up with "settling for a butt ugly girl". That outlook is shallow and shows a lack of maturity. Perhaps when you and your friend grow up you'll understand better.

[Bill O'Rights]

Damn, shakran...every once in awhile...not often, mind you, but every once in awhile...you hit the nail so squarely on the head that I could not possibly have said it any better.

Except, perhaps, to ask who's butt is being compared to qualify as "butt ugly"? What I mean is, I've personally seen some mighty damn fine looking butts just here in our own Tilted Exhibition. Nancy, onodrim, lurkette and la petite moi, for example, are just a few of the butts that I, for one, would consider it a personal honor to be compared to.

[Averett]

Originally posted by shakran
well speaking personally, I think that if you look at your girlfriend and the first thing you think is "damn I'm settling for a butt ugly girl" then you're probably too much of an asshole to be able to refrain from cheating no matter what kind of girlfriend you have.

But that's just me.

Originally posted by Hanxter
so put a bag over your head

Originally posted by Peetster
Relationships are far too complex to sum up with "settling for a butt ugly girl". That outlook is shallow and shows a lack of maturity. Perhaps when you and your friend grow up you'll understand better.

Yup, Yup and er.. Yup. Seriously, grow the hell up.

Sorry, that may come off as attacking. And this may as well. Yes, physical attraction plays a huge part in relationships. So does attitude. Some of the most beautiful people in the world have the most ugly attitudes.

So, Jesus Pimp, would you rather have a girlfriend who is beautiful but is a complete bitch or a not so attractive girlfriend who has a heart of gold? I'm thinking you'd choose the beautiful bitch cause she'd look good on your arm. Could be wrong..

[Jesus Pimp]

Originally posted by Averett
Yup, Yup and er.. Yup. Seriously, grow the hell up.

Sorry, that may come off as attacking. And this may as well. Yes, physical attraction plays a huge part in relationships. So does attitude. Some of the most beautiful people in the world have the most ugly attitudes.

So, Jesus Pimp, would you rather have a girlfriend who is beautiful but is a complete bitch or a not so attractive girlfriend who has a heart of gold? I'm thinking you'd choose the beautiful bitch cause she'd look good on your arm. Could be wrong..

Thanks guys. Maybe I am just shallow. I'm not looking for a super model bitch or either a butt ugly girl.

[denim]

Reality check: If you wince every time you see her, you and her probably don't have a future.

cf me and the last woman I went out with. I tried for months, but we just didn't do it for each other, and I suspect our physical attractiveness to each other played a part.

[lurkette]

I'd guess that cheating has less to do with the attractiveness of one's partner than with the maturity and level of commitment of the people involved. Look at whatsisname....Hugh Grant, cheating on Elizabeth Fucking Hurley with some ho. She hardly qualifies as "butt ugly," so even just anecdotally, there goes your theory. Chances are someone who would "settle" in a relationship in any way - looks, personality, chemistry - is going to be more likely to be unhappy and stray away anyhow.

[onetime2]

Although some say that you should marry an ugly girl (or guy) so you know they won't cheat on you. Potatoes, potahhtoes as they say.


Of course, my fiancee is gorgeous and I'm ridiculously secure with myself so YMMV.

[yournamehere]

The very fact that you think you're settling shows a lack of respect for your mate, and people don't cheat if they respect the person they're in a relationship with - so Yes - I would guess that settling could very well lead to cheating and/or divorce.

[tooth]

"Show me a hot chick, and I'll show you a guy who's tired of bangin' her."
-I hear this thrown around alot now, so I don't know who I should attribute this quote to.

Certainly physical attraction plays a role in a relationship. But, the personalities and attitudes of those involved is what will really make somthing work or not.

If you date or marry someone for looks it will rarely last. If you do the same with someone that you actually enjoy spending time with and talking to, then looks suddenly don't matter so much.

[Polyphobic]

I eventually pulled my head out of my ass as started dating women I was friends with first. Not friends to get in her pants, just friends. Now I'm married to my best friend for 8 years and somehow we have managed to keep it that way. I didn't settle. I got what I wanted.
Besides we all end up wrinkly and old. Might as well spend the rest of your life with someone you like.

[Cynthetiq]

Originally posted by Polyphobic
I eventually pulled my head out of my ass as started dating women I was friends with first. Not friends to get in her pants, just friends. Now I'm married to my best friend for 8 years and somehow we have managed to keep it that way. I didn't settle. I got what I wanted.
Besides we all end up wrinkly and old. Might as well spend the rest of your life with someone you like.

great poly!!!

I'm in the same vein as you. My wife Skogafoss and I were friends for a few years before we started dating, and now been married to my bestest friend in the whole world.

is she a super model? no.

is she butt ugly? no.

she's still the most beautiful person to me.

[lurkette]

Originally posted by tooth
"Show me a hot chick, and I'll show you a guy who's tired of bangin' her."
-I hear this thrown around alot now, so I don't know who I should attribute this quote to.

Here's another one I hear thrown around a lot:

"Beauty fades, but stupid is forever."

[Polyphobic]

Originally posted by Cynthetiq
great poly!!!

I'm in the same vein as you. My wife Skogafoss and I were friends for a few years before we started dating, and now been married to my bestest friend in the whole world.

is she a super model? no.

is she butt ugly? no.

she's still the most beautiful person to me.

Exactly my thoughts.

[tooth]

Originally posted by lurkette
Here's another one I hear thrown around a lot:

"Beauty fades, but stupid is forever."

LOL. I immediatly thought of Jessica Simpson. The most unattractive hot chick I have ever seen. She turns me off in a BIG way, who cares what she looks like.

[Polyphobic]

LOL. Someone else that feels like I do about her. Such generic looks that she actually looks ugly IMO.

[Charlatan]

These are wincingly cliche but relevant to this thread:

"beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

and...

"Don't judge a book by its cover"

[denim]

How about

"It's all pink inside."

No, I don't believe it either.

[ratbastid]

Originally posted by Cynthetiq
is she a super model? no.

is she butt ugly? no.

she's still the most beautiful person to me.

Bingo.

When I fell completely head-over-heels nutso-crazy in love with lurkette, it really wouldn't have mattered what she looked like. Turns out she's a total hottie, but that's really beside the point. Love's not about looks.

I suspect that younger people, people in more of a dating scene, might be more looks-oriented. But when you fall for The One, that all changes real quick.

How about being attracted to a woman's personality & who she is, not what she looks like...............

[Boo]

Looks change over time. Some of the "butt ugly" girls in my high school are very nice looking now. Some of the hot chicks are well.... not so hot now.

Find a friend. Then a lover. Merge = Good start. Relationships take time and effort.

[slimshaydee]

Originally posted by :::OshnSoul:::
How about being attracted to a woman's personality & who she is, not what she looks like...............

unfortunately thats not part of human instinct
the person has to be at least a little bit attractive for you to want to form a relationship with them.

[Jesus Pimp]

Originally posted by ratbastid
Bingo.

When I fell completely head-over-heels nutso-crazy in love with lurkette, it really wouldn't have mattered what she looked like. Turns out she's a total hottie, but that's really beside the point. Love's not about looks.

I suspect that younger people, people in more of a dating scene, might be more looks-oriented. But when you fall for The One, that all changes real quick.

So even if she was a leper with boils all over her body for example you would of fell in love with her?

[Rubyee]

I think that any guy that would cheat on someone just because he found someone hotter is a jerk.

If he cheated on someone because she didn't treat him right, wouldn't put out, stopped talking to him, basically any reason other than her looks, he is still a jerk, but a little bit less of one.

It should never have to come to cheating. If you find yourself wanting to cheat, then something is obviously wrong with the relationship and it should be fixed or the relationship stopped. If you find yourself cheating on someone just because the person you are cheating with is more attractive, you don't deserve to be in a serious relationship with anyone, unless that person is as shallow as you are.

[Jesus Pimp]

Definitely check out the movie Shallow Hal. A little extreme but gets the point across.

[assilem]

I think when you "settle" for a girl or anything in life you are not going to be happy with it in the end. Whether it be an ugly girl or a shitty car if you feel you are truly happy with it and chose it because it is what you wanted then life will be good. I guess what I am saying is even if you are an asshole you have to be true to yourself or you’re doomed to live in misery, always coveting other hot girls or faster computers.