How to keep it clean?
 

My apartment is always a fucking Pit and I can't figure out how to keep it clean. A little more about the situation I live in a two bedroom two bathroom apartment with 4 other guys. On top of this its also the sort of the recreation center for my circle of friends. Of the people who live here one is a total slob (and un-reformable, he isn't that way on purpose, hes just sort of a forgetful scientist type and leaves his crap wherever when his mind wanders off) Two are nutrals (they make a little mess, but clean up some too) and two (me and my room mate) are clean people (not anal, just not slobs) Were this the whole of it things could be managed, but several of our guests, though very nice people, have no idea how to clean up after themselves. After almost any meal they will simply drop there dishes on a convenient horizontal surface (sometimes even the floor) or if it was fast food they will just leave there trash on the floor/table. They also bring over a lot of stuff (which is great) making it really difficult to have "a place for everything" And they regularly take out and use a lot of things (and obviously don't put them back) The carpet also gets filthy very quickly (which is no surprise given that we have 10+ people in the house more nights than not) Now the place does occasionally get cleaned up... if someone gets a lot of energy and zest into cleaning everyone will pitch in, but it gets dirty again usually by the end of the next night. I have never been a big fan of Sisyphean tasks so eventually I stopped trying to ever get it clean. Here are some things that have been tried:

• beating people with a plastic fish for making a mess. This failed as too many people were getting beat too often, and none of us are assholes enough to be the "enforcer"
• Obsessively making sure that there is plenty of space in the trashcan. (this one is still being done, and helps a lot)
• Trying to get it clean, and keep it clean. (this is based on the observation that the dirtier it is the faster it gets even worse, unfortunately if you have even one day where you need to pay attention to something else it breaks and spirals down to being a pit again)

(side info: we do have both a vacuum cleaner and a dishwasher)

I'm looking for ideas that will make the place naturally stay cleaner, the sort of things that change the way people act in accordance with the "maximum laziness" Principal. Simple low effort things that will make staying clean seem like the easiest option. Really any advice would help though.

for when ppl come over, make it convenient to get rid of things...ie. put waste baskets 1/room and more in the living room [by the sofa, or chairs, i have no clue what your interior looks like but put it where you know ppl gather the most], if you have a coffee table, regular table, leave nothing on it so there's more room for dishes on the tables rather than the floor, making clean up easier.

with your roomies, make a deal that the two of you who are clean, clean. The other two can pay for groceries more or something else equally helpful. People rarely change their habits and stick to it, if they can't...find a way to make it more fair and square by other means.

Finally for the carpet, if you guys have money, invest in a very fancy carpet cleaner or vacuum [is it stains typically?], like those dirt devils or one of those industrial grade type things. Or else line the carpet with newspaper before ppl come :p jk...god i hate vacuuming, the best thing is to get hardwood/linoleum floors.

*/ martha stewartness*

sorta the best way to do it as i have decided, being a teenager and having to do chores is that there gets a point where u just realiz its better to clean up at the moment than wait till later, dont always do it but im workin on it.

try to get everyone to simply clean as things go along. while you wait for something to download, clean up around you. while commercials are on throw stuff away. it's like lazy cleaning. instead of just doing nothing while there is nothing else going on, clean up. it sounds silly but it sorta works. better than nothing. also when i cant sleep i clean my room, i get tired of cleaning and go back to bed :p

EDIT: YOU CAN ONLY DRINK BEER WHEN EVERYTHING IS CLEANED UP! lol i bet that'll work

i also agree with lafemmefatale's ideas, doesnt hurt to try em

Multiple trash cans in the main room. If you have stuff which needs a shelf the grocery stores leave milk crates behind em a lot.

if you don't want to do it yourself. hire someone to do it for you... have them come every week or every other. After the person comes the first time to clean it from top to bottom... tell your friends you don't what it to be messed up at all.

or

get new friends that respect your wishes to keep your place tidy.

Their mother doens't live there to clean up after them, so neither should you.

I'd put the axe on the constant houseguests for a few weeks, and then slowly start letting them back in as they learn to behave.

Hire a cleaning person... They aren't all that expensive.

this is the reason why i'm picky about getting a roommate.
and that is why i'm still living at home. once i find a clean, reliable person to live with, i'm moving out.

tell these people to take off their fucking shoes !

if they dont like it fuck em let them clean your carpets !

as to the mess with dishes just say something next time a visitor leaves one "I aint your momma and the maid is off clean your shit up !"

seriously I'd never be a slob at someone else's house at mine its
different I have to live with my own mess but not elsewhere.

right... if you collect money for the beer fund... well collect a little extra for the cleaning fund..

someone's gotta be the asshole for keeping it clean... may as well be you.

Plain and simple -- just put things away when your done with them and spend an hour a week doing general cleaning duties.

just start throwing peoples stuff away. If they dont like it, they will start picking their crap up. I did that with my wife when we first got married...she has come around.