Asking immigration status?

[Mirth]

Hello all. I been talking to this woman for about 2 whole months, who moved to the United States from South America when she was 13. I may be getting interested in her, even though we haven't met yet (we live a few hours away and are going to meet in August), and I'm kind of interested in if she's an illegal immigrant or not.

So my question is, is it offensive for me to ask her if she is? I'm not sure why I want to know... She's the one that started talking to me first via facebook, not the other way around, and I'm just a white guy; she doesn't even have any white friends (which may be hard to get in Miami anyways). Maybe she wants to marry me to become legal or something. But yeah, not sure if it's taboo to ask.

[The_Dunedan]

VERY taboo. VERY. If it's an issue, she'll bring it up in her own way and in her own time. If you push the issue, -especially- if she -is- a legal immigrant, you WILL piss her off. Massively. It'd be the same as if an Hispanic person walked up and asked how you like fucking your cousin, 'cause hey; they've seen Deliverance. Either way, you come off as racist. If she -is- an illegal immigrant, she's liable to -also- become convinced that not only are you a racist, you're either;
1: A cop, or
2: Someone who wants to use her status to blackmail her for money, sex, etc.

[Plan9]

I dated a girl from Brazil for a hot minute. She was studying up at American University in DC. She was smoking hot but not a US citizen. There was no issue in asking. I think the idea that someone would be insulted that they're not a citizen of the country they're currently residing in is uniquely American.

Damn furrinurs!

Edit: Dunedan proves my point.

[The_Dunedan]

Citizen, no. Asking about immigration status, however, is -very- touchy among Hispanics.

"What, you think I'm illegal? Why, 'cause I'm Mexican/Honduran/Guatemalan? Do all brown people just look alike to you, or do you just think we're -all- here illegally?"

[Plan9]

Yeah, where you live. The socioeconomic steps between where illegal immigrants and white people are in my area prevent them from even interacting.

...

Wait, how hot is this girl? That's a factor.

[The_Dunedan]

Good point. Lots of Hispanic folks 'round here, and lots of illegals working the Christmas-tree farms, to there's a lot more cultural cross-pollination, if you like.

[dippin]

I know plenty of people in plenty of countries and I can't think of one where someone wouldn't be offended or pissed off if a casual acquaintance actually asked them about their immigration status. Especially if the questioning comes from the suspicion that the person wants to marry someone to get a citizenship.

Asking about citizenship, or just general stuff like "so what brings you here" are probably ok.

Asking "are you an illegal immigrant," especially in the current context, will generally offend someone. Or, if not offend, at least make them rethink whatever potential friendship/relationship they would want to have with you.

[Plan9]

Yeah, the only time some of my lily white well-to-do-fuck-everybody-else neighbors see a Hispanic guy is when he's mowing the lawn.

...

If the OP wanted to be all sneaky and shit... the question is: "So how about all that bullshit paperwork to get your green card, amiright?"

[dippin]

Regardless of nationality, ethnic origin, region, whatever.

Context is everything. An established friend or whatever asking about immigration status is one thing. A person you barely know responding to some online flirting with a "so, how about that i-94?" will probably kill one's chances.

[Wes Mantooth]

It doesn't seem like it should be too difficult, I would think somebodies nationality or how they got to where they are now would come up in anyway during the "get to know ya" phase of your relationship. But since it didn't I'd just find a tactful way to get the info out of her.

You know she's from South America so why not ask what brought her here? Remark on how think its interesting that she immigrated to the US, follow up with questions about her native country, why her parents (or whoever) decided to move then follow up by asking what it was like to come here...

..."Its interesting. as someone who's lived here his whole life I have no idea what the immigration process is really like. Did you find it difficult to get here?" ...

Gauge her responses throughout (might be better to do it on the phone), does she seem irritated by talking about her past, does she jump on any opportunity to talk about it? Of course this all depends on weather or not somebody living here illegally since they were 13 would actually tell you the truth having only known you for 2 months...but never the less if you do it properly I wouldn't think it would be too hard.

[Manic_Skafe]

If she's dishonest and sneaky enough not to list her immigration status on her Facebook profile then who knows whatever else she may be hiding. Break it off. You deserve better.

[spindles]

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe

immigration status on her Facebook profile

wtf? I can't even SEE an immigration status option on the profile for facebook. I can't imagine I'd write "Australian Citizen" on mine, even if such an option existed.

For the OP - what does it matter - meet up, have a good time and worry about whether she wants to marry you later.

[ASU2003]

Just go down to the local INS and see if they have any records for this girl. If not, tell them where they can find her and help your country out. :lol

[Xerxys]

Originally Posted by spindles

wtf?

I have included sarcasm punctuation ... for spindles and the sarcastic impared ... also this post is available in sarcovision for the sarcastically challenged, but only upon request.

Originally Posted by Manic_Skafe

If she's dishonest and sneaky enough not to list her immigration status on her Facebook profile then who knows whatever else she may be hiding. Break it off. You deserve better.

[The_Jazz]

Real Americans don't date immigrants, legal or not. I suggest that you break off all contact 'lessen you get the cooties.

[pig]

If you're ready to end this online flirtation thing, go ahead and bring it up. Try to be sneaky, try to be suave. Chances are she'll see right through it, realize you're going for immigration status (not like its a hot-button issue in the us or anything), and more than likely be offended. I've seen it happen.

[Walt]

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

Real Americans don't date immigrants, legal or not. I suggest that you break off all contact 'lessen you get the cooties.

You're half right. American women should be barred from dating immigrants.

1) Prevent American women from dating non-citizens.
2) American women have less men to choose from, must then lower their standards.
3) ???
4) I bang Eva Mendes.

[Baraka_Guru]

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

Real Americans don't date immigrants, legal or not. I suggest that you break off all contact 'lessen you get the cooties.

What are you talking about? Don't you know that the Latino population is doing the nation a favour by strengthening the American race?

[mirevolver]

I think it all matters in the context of how you bring it up. I work with a hispanic man who has acknowledged that he is originally from Guatemala. There was one time we were having a conversation about travel and he mentioned that he didn't know what he needed for documents to travel to Europe. In this case I was able to ask him what his citizenship was without causing offense.

But if you just ask out of the blue, "Hey, what's your immigration status?" You will likely piss that person off. Especially if they are (A) A legal immigrant, (B) A naturalized citizen or they will be extremely pissed off if (C) they are a natural born citizen.

[Cernunnos]

Alternatively, you could ask "Are you legal?" If she becomes angry, clarify that you were referring to her age, since she's so youthful in appearance, and if she is still upset, explain that the expression is quite commonly considered a compliment in English. I recommend against the idea, since it's deceptive, somewhat immature, and relies upon the chance of her ignorance, but it would at least be amusing.

[pinal]

She can't be illegal immigrant as far as I think. Anyway you must help her to acquire whatever she needs.

[KirStang]

So....Update OP? Was she using your wang for citizenship?