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-   -   Are you smarter than the company you keep? More attractive? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/157630-you-smarter-than-company-you-keep-more-attractive.html)

Jinn 11-05-2010 07:34 AM

Are you smarter than the company you keep? More attractive?
 
We're social creatures, there's no way of getting around that. We emulate other people from the moment of birth until death, really. What we believe, how we act, even the mannerisms we have are likely picked up from our society and our close group of friends of acquaintances, rather than inborn. Sociology of the last thirty years has confirmed this, and how we view everything from sex to violence to relationships is informed by society and media, as well as person-to-person interaction.

Likewise, many studies have confirmed that your BMI is generally correlated with the BMI of your closest cohorts, and your intelligence and wealth are similarly correlated. If your friends are all poor, it's unlikely you'll be richer than they are, on average. If all your friends are fat, it's a pretty good chance you will be too. There are certainly outliers, but I've seen this to be true in my own life.

It's become rather evident to me since I recently moved across country, and I moved to a city with political and religious beliefs very similar to my own. At home, I always felt like a black sheep in a sea of bigots, but now I'm constantly caught off guard by the fact that I can call out a homophobe and everyone agrees with me. Likewise I work in a richer area, and I find myself wanting to get a nicer car and nicer clothes, even subconsciously.

So I wonder - do you consider yourself the 'smartest' among your peer group? How about the fittest? Most attractive? Or are you the mean average of your group? And have you ever changed peer groups (moving across country, starting a new job) and noticed you were suddenly more or less motivated to make more money, go to the gym, or buy that new fashion accessory?

snowy 11-05-2010 07:44 AM

ZombieSquirrel and I are equally beautiful and smart :lol:

No, I don't consider myself any of those things relative to the rest of my group of friends. I don't like to compare myself that way to my friends.

However, I am the prettiest out of my coworkers, and probably the smartest too. I like being the last thing--I use it to my advantage to be an excellent employee.

im2smrt4u 11-05-2010 07:51 AM

More attractive? Not a chance! I'm more likely one of the least...

Smarter? Depends on who I am around. There are some people I know that are much more well read than I am and thus I do not feel as smart. However, I doubt anyone I know knows as much about computers or engineering.

Plan9 11-05-2010 08:29 AM

I'm the least attractive in the group I run in. I'm also the least intelligent. No surprise, right?

Physical fitness stretches across the range. We have Hercules-types that can't run and then guys like me.

My one redeeming trait is that I'm almost always prepared for X problem. MacGyver'd!

I'm not a genius, but I'm organized.

...

I don't like the metrosexual vibe I'm getting from this thread, Jinn.

Baraka_Guru 11-05-2010 08:33 AM

There's a good chance that I'm the least intelligent among the people I associate with.

However, I'll say that there's a good chance that I'm the hottest. :suave:

kramus 11-05-2010 08:39 AM

I'm a homebody. The only company I keep is the dog. Seriously, it's just me and the dog, all day long. I would be a recluse except for the fact that I live with my Lady. There you have it. I am smarter than the dog, but the dog is prettier. And I am rather thick when compared to my Lady, who is much lovelier than I.

That being said, when I worked in the factory, and before my social circle got slowly pared down to nuthin' (a boring story that is a sidebar to my failed marriage) I tended to find folks around me a wee bit slower than I was, perhaps not as intuitive or ready to learn things, pick up on stuff, put their ducks in a row so to speak. I "dumbed down" a bit so I wouldn't look too out of place with the other lunch-buckets and clock punchers I spent my life with, and read a lot of books. My ex was a nice enough woman, but I really should have held off on the high school sweethearts marry young thing. Pretty sure I would have made different choices and wound up with a few more solid accomplishments.

That said, I am oh so glad that life unfolded in such a way that my Lady and I were able to find each other at the first possible moment that opened up for us. The last few years have been a beautiful thing :)

Grancey 11-05-2010 10:31 PM

I only associate with highly intelligent people. Though the few friends that I have tend to be "smarter" in their own unique ways than I am, I see myself as having much more common sense and better social skills.

FuriousAvatar 11-07-2010 10:41 PM

I don't know that I've ever considered it before, but I'd say I'm more intelligent than most of my friends. They all have their specializations in knowledge though, of course.

I am definitely either the most fit, or nearly the most fit of my friends. When we all hike in groups I tend to lead and help everyone through tough areas.

As far as attractiveness goes, I know several of my friends are more attractive. I suppose I'm about in the middle in that regard.

I've never moved from Juneau, so I suppose I haven't really changed peer groups so much as add a few members to the current one now and again.

dlish 11-08-2010 01:05 AM

people keep company with other people they feel comfortable with at the time. as time goes on, peoples comfort levels change, their ideals change, and people move on in life. but generally speaking, as the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. once people change, they tend to find another flock.

if you asked me 10 years ago what sort of company id keep in 10 years time, it'd probably be much different to what it is now. at 22, i knew shit. and i still do.

im not the smartest, but im probably the most analytical. i guess im the guy that works behind the scenes to make it all work. some people might think im smart for being analytical , but im not an extrovert and i dont let it show.

I think my mrs is way smarter than me, and shes much prettier too.

StanT 11-08-2010 06:03 AM

I'm not all that social, most of my friends share some activity with me at a level pretty close to my own.

I'm a fairly good skier, my ski buddies push me to do more. That's why they are my ski buddies.

My motorcycle buddies ride all day and go too fast around corners. I wouldn't have it any other way.

My hiking buddies always want to go just a little bit further.

I get along with the folks I work with, but never socialize with them. I already see them as much as my wife.

I guess I tend to gravitate towards people that push me a little.

GreyWolf 11-08-2010 10:38 AM

Interesting question... and I doubt most people's responses are totally unbiased. Short of having taken an IQ test, we will perceive our intelligence more through the eyes of our personality than reality. The same with looks, and even wealth.

I'm 6'2". I played basketball all my life against guys taller than I am. I honestly do not consider myself tall... more average to less than average.

I have been successful financially in life, but still struggle to accept emotionally that I have more than most. I appreciate it; I know it; I just don't FEEL it. I think it may be due to coming from an economically disadvantaged home.

I know my IQ statistically puts me smarter than most people. I have an older brother whose IQ is off the charts. I've never felt particularly smart. He was also a much better athlete than I was. It really sucks trying to live up to an older sibling who is both smarter and a better athlete than you are.

As for my looks, well I don't think I'm ugly, but I'm far from the best looking guy in any group.

So if I were to answer the question based on what I KNOW, it would be quite different from what I FEEL. I suspect that even when trying to be brutally honest, people with great self-confidence probably overestimate their looks and intelligence, those without it probably underestimate themselves.

Ourcrazymodern? 11-08-2010 11:35 AM

I have moments.

Many associates shy away before long.

I'm not sure what that means.

Unlike Plan9, I like metrosexual vibes.

Crack Monk 11-11-2010 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru (Post 2838458)
There's a good chance that I'm the least intelligent among the people I associate with.

However, I'll say that there's a good chance that I'm the hottest. :suave:

I think, more often than not, it balances out that way. I think people tend to stick with "peers,' as in, people of inherently equal value. But that value can be in a different area. If my friends were slightly hotter than me, I'd have to be slightly smarter. You know, keep myself from feeling like total shit around them. I'm sure it works that way in reverse, too.

My brother heavily suggested I move to Seattle because there are way more nerdy types here than Buttfuck, Colorado. My interests aren't frowned upon as childish, and seen as "lolbigwords i dun get it" here. Instead, there's an overtone of douchey pretension. But hey, it's a step up!

I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT AND I AM TOO LAZY TO EDIT

Jinn 11-12-2010 07:56 AM

Derailment--

Weird, Crack Monk. I moved from judgmental-capital of the Universe, Colorado Springs, CO to Seattle, WA just 2 months ago for precisely the reasons you describe. Not only is this city badass, but it's full of nerds and liberals! I don't know if you've noticed, but King County decides everything. The civil unions thing came up on the ballot; King County voted yes, the entire rest of WA voted no. It won. Same thing with the 2010 Senate election. I catch myself sometimes being shocked when I say something previously controversial or even esoteric (damned Linux!) and everyone around me not only understands what I'm saying and agrees with me. It's like a haven of sanity.

-- back to the thread...

So far the trend seems to agree with the empirical wisdom, that we really are 'averages' of our friends. I'm surprised to see no one said they were significantly worse than all of their peers or significantly better. I wonder how physical fitness falls, now. Are the majority of you similar BMI's to your peers?

Willravel 11-12-2010 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9 (Post 2838455)
I'm the least attractive in the group I run in. I'm also the least intelligent.

Same.

Plan9 11-12-2010 11:24 AM

Stop stealing my friends!


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