What do you do when you outpace or outgrow old friends? :(

[Zeraph]

I find myself much more socially apt and gregarious than my friends. I certainly won't ditch them, but they don't feel comfortable with some of my newer friends. Also, its hard to meet new friends similar to me when I'm with my old friends, ya know? What's a guy to do?

[KirStang]

I don't talk to my best friend very much anymore. He's gone bohemian on me (part time magician living with parents), while I'm in grad school and laying a foundation for a future. The way I see it, when I go home, he's 'Good-Ol-Johnny-From-High-School-Who-I-Can-Share-Memories-With' while other friends serve other purposes.....

In other words, I compartmentalize my friends in to different social groups. Doesn't mean you can't still be good friends with them.

[dlish]

ive shred most of my friends in the past few years.

some because i live in another country now
some ive shed in the new country out of necessity (assholes)
some ive shed because ive changed jobs
some because my focuses have changed.

ive changed their status from 'friends' to 'mates' or 'acquaintences'. I've got no problem doing this.

This probably leaves me with maybe 4 very close friends of mine split between 2 countries.

i guess outgrowing your friends is a part of life and a natural progression...a bit like losing your hair. first you worry about it. then you realise. hey, this aint so bad... and you just go with it.

but yes compartmentalising is one choice you can take up. i know that if i hang out with the 'mates', theres a group type that ill be introduced to. sure, they're fun and a great laugh, but not necessarily the type i can fit into the 'friends' mould.`

just remember that birds of a feather flock together.

[cdwonderful]

The modern solution is to put them on facebook......then hide their posts.

[Xerxys]

I can't say I've outgrown any of my friends. I think thats kinda snobbish. I've lost touch with some that I considered close but only because of proximity reasons. That and I don't rally have that many friends. I see it like this, you became close because you fit together. Had the same interests, lived in the same area etc, etc. That can't really change.

Originally Posted by dlish

ive shred most of my friends in the past few years.

MURDERER!!

[Cavi Mike]

Why do you feel the need to drag all of your friends along with you? I have many very good friends and even though I've been friends with them for many years, some of them have never met. Some of my friends like the bars, some like the clubs, some like chilling at home, some like working on cars and a few of those happen to cross into each other but many don't and I don't expect them to.

I think the real question is, can you adapt if you're as socially apt as you think you are? I think it may be your friends that are outgrowing you, not the other way around.

[tasineah]

my friends remain in my life as we change. I am not the only one who goes through evolutuons. So do they. Sometimes, they tide away, while new ones tide in. Its all part of the same body of water. I can run into one of my best friends from high school after not seeing her for years and its like we pick up from where we left off last we saw each other. Yet, someone I know on a day to day basis I might have gaps of comfort with. Its all relative.

I am so very lucky to have such wonderful friends who share the joy of life and evolving spirits with me. We expect ourselves and each other to be different as we mature through the years.

[amonkie]

What brought my friends and I together over the years has changed, and that has also changed how much individual people have a presence in my life.

If I met them growing up, our friendship was sustained by interaction in similiar interests and hobbies. Once I left the place I grew up and moved 3,000 miles away, maintaining those friendships did not come naturally for a variety of reasons.

I'm now suffering (or not, depending on your view) the change in friendships when your priorities in life change. While I am single, many of my friends are married with very young children, or expecting.

And sometimes... people just drift away, only to reconnect years later. I've had quite a few of those experiences this year. Some drifts happen much more abruptly then others and for a few I'll never quite know what was the cause. Its life.