Two beds or one?

[abaya]

When ktspktsp and I arrived in Iceland, we received a wedding gift from my grandmother. We got two single down comforters, two single duvet covers, two single flat sheets, and two pillows. I had no idea what to make of it, at the time. Was this her key to marital happiness, so that we would never fight over the covers?

Then, after some trips to IKEA and seeing other people's bedrooms, we realized that in Iceland EVERY couple does it this way. Nobody "shares" comforters, and many people actually have two single beds pushed together. I had very rarely seen this in the US, and ktspktsp and I have no desire to sleep that way. We love having one blanket over us both, especially when snuggling before sleep, and we rarely fight over the covers (if so, it's done gently). So we ended up buying an American-type bed, bit bigger than a queen, with one blanket and sheet set, etc. We're saving grandma's gift for visiting guests, who will sleep on the spare (smaller) mattress.

I am just wondering, though, if other couples do this two-bed, two-comforter thing... or if it's just Icelanders. Maybe they have it right, and it IS the key to marital bliss but I'm curious what y'all think.

[Grasshopper Green]

I think that would be uncomfortable, having two beds pushed together. I wonder if it feels like you are going to fall through the crack!

Hubby and I have one bed, one blanket. We both tend to be blanket hogs though...having two blankets might not be a bad idea

[LoganSnake]

Upon arriving to America, I was pretty surprised that people share comforters/blankets here. Back home couples share a single bed, but each person has their own set of bedding stuff (pillow, blanket). Maybe it's just a cultural thing?

[fresnelly]

I always figured that in Europe at least, single beds were popular or even necessary due to the compact design of all those old buildings. You'd never get a King size mattress up those tight stairwells no matter how much you wanted to.

[StanT]

1 bed, 2 comforters. For all her finer points, my wife is a blanket hog.

[Daniel_]

Double (5'6" wide) bed.

Kingsize (6'6" wide) duvet.

Job done.

[abaya]

Originally Posted by Medusa

I think that would be uncomfortable, having two beds pushed together. I wonder if it feels like you are going to fall through the crack!

Well, from what my uncle told me, it's actually *more* comfortable to have two separate beds next to each other. This is because if you (or your spouse) moves around a lot and bounces the bed when they turn over, the other person won't feel it since they are on a separate mattress. I don't know if the mattresses would slide apart, since some of them have one big boxspring on the bottom and then two smaller beds on top... and perhaps something holding the two together, so they don't slide? I have no idea.

But I'd be afraid of the crack, too.

[Bossnass]

My parents have two mattresses with a custom zipper connecting them so they each can have a different firmness, but for all intents and purposes it is one large bed.

Friends of mine have two beds. Neither of them had ever shared a room or a bed until marriage. And they just couldn't get used to it, tossing and turning, keeping each other up. I recently helped them move and they were embarrassed and proud of it at the same time. This isn't two beds pushed together, this is two beds in the same room.

I'm the same as Daniel; we share a queen bed (5'X7.5'), but in the winter we use a King duvet (7.5'x7.5').

[Lizra]

Great idea! Why didn't I ever think of that. We have a king size bed....but I put one of those long body pillows between us because I want/need my own space when sleeping. I always hop over to his side if we are making love....let him have the stain, he doesn't seem to care....

[World's King]

Originally Posted by StanT

1 bed, 2 comforters. For all her finer points, my wife is a blanket hog.

We have two for two reasons. She hogs the covers. And she only does that cause she's always cold. So she has her down comforter and no less then four other blankets and I have my sheet.

[Charlatan]

Originally Posted by fresnelly

I always figured that in Europe at least, single beds were popular or even necessary due to the compact design of all those old buildings. You'd never get a King size mattress up those tight stairwells no matter how much you wanted to.

When I am in France I find that most of the hotels and apartments I have stayed in are set up with two singles to make a double and I've always thought it was because of the tight stairwells and tiny elevators.

North Americans are generally spoiled for square footage.


Though speaking as someone who has a wife that hogs the covers, I can certainly see the logic of having separate comforters. That said, I am a pillow hog, she is a blanket hog. It balances out because I generally kick off all the covers anyway.

[ShaniFaye]

One queen bed, One king comforter. I couldnt imagine not sleeping under the same covers as Dave....I have to feel skin on skin when we sleep....how does one experience all that snuggling and spooning has to give with different covers?

[Lady Sage]

2 beds, 2 bedrooms. Pan snores like a demon posessed banshee... I love him with all my heart but we cant sleep in the same room. Coupled with the fact that we work totally conflicting shifts at our jobs and neither of us would get any sleep if we continued to try to sleep in the same bed.

Therefore, I have my bed which is huge and the one that we cuddle and "stuff". He has his bed in his room that he sleeps on.

[abaya]

Originally Posted by ShaniFaye

how does one experience all that snuggling and spooning has to give with different covers?

Exactly my question for the Icelanders and other Europeans with similar set-ups. Nighttime cuddling is a primary bonding time for me and ktspktsp... I can't imagine our lives without that! Then again, Icelanders I have talked with say the same thing... they can't imagine having to share the covers with their partners, since their parents did it this way, and their parents, etc etc. Culture, eh?

EDIT: Oops, Lady Sage, I guess I should have put another poll option for two separate bedrooms! Hadn't even considered that.

[ShaniFaye]

We have some of our best conversations at night while we are snuggling lol

[Lady Sage]

I doubt many people have two seperate bedrooms. Then again, neither Pan nor I could ever be considered normal!

[little_tippler]

Well here in Portugal people have one double bed and one duvet and sheets and stuff - only thing there has to be two of is pillows. I never thought of having two duvets for one bed...strange. But it's not a bad idea I guess if your partner hogs the covers. Two beds is just weird.

[abaya]

Originally Posted by little_tippler

Well here in Portugal people have one double bed and one duvet and sheets and stuff

Hmm, maybe it's only a Northern European thing... I wouldn't be surprised, culturally!

[Commander]

if My slut acts up or I'm just in the mood to be a complete bastard,I restrain her to the foot of the bed,leave her their all night,in the morning,bitch is horny as hell and begging to be spanked and fucked!!

[snowy]

Originally Posted by Lady Sage

I doubt many people have two seperate bedrooms. Then again, neither Pan nor I could ever be considered normal!

Actually, I read an article in the NYTimes a couple of weeks ago that suggested that two master suites is becoming increasingly popular in custom-built homes here in the United States.

As for us, we share a bed but have separate comforters. I, like WK's lady, require lots of warmth to be able to sleep. He has a thinner one, I have a thicker one, with an extra comforter folded up at the foot in case I need it in winter. Some nights in winter we use all three together, but that is rare, and we usually wake up having wrested our comforters apart from one another anyways. I also sometimes throw other blankets into the mix, as well.

[Psycho Dad]

We've got the one bed, one comforter typical setup. That twin beds thing though would have its positives. Not only is my wife a blanket hog, she tosses, turns, pushes, shoves, knees, elbows and kicks me all night. Word is my snoring and flatulence aren't that swuft either.

All the TV moms and dads in the 50s had twin beds. Not that I'm that old. But I remember watching reruns thinking "damn that has to be better than Bob Newhart's and Mike and Carol Brady's arrangements".

[Willravel]

It's really hard to have sex on two beds.

[Psycho Dad]

That's why I would just pick one of the beds at a time.

[spindles]

queen size bed - two queen size doonas - otherwise I'd never get any covering at all. Still within easy reach, but also both warm...

[abaya]

Originally Posted by spindles

queen size bed - two queen size doonas

I guess this is an Aussie thing... but what are "doonas?" Duvets?

[Bill O'Rights]

Originally Posted by willravel

It's really hard to have sex on two beds.

Then you're not doing it right.

Where is the choice for two seperate beds, in two seperate bedrooms, in two seperate wings of the villa?

[mixedmedia]

one king-size bed, one king-size comforter...we're pretty good about sharing

as for two beds pushed together...the crack can be quite uncomfortable and in effect keep you apart

I'm not for that at all.

[abaya]

Originally Posted by Bill O'Rights

Where is the choice for two seperate beds, in two seperate bedrooms, in two seperate wings of the villa?

Well, since you're not the first to say this... can you add a poll option for "Two beds, two bedrooms"? I tried adding it myself, but no deal. Thanks, BOR!

/tries to imagine sleeping in two separate bedrooms... just can't.

Maybe there is a corollary between years of marriage and distance between the two people (blankets, then beds, then bedrooms)? Or maybe it is all just personal preference, with a hint of cultural influence.

[absorbentishe]

We've got a queen size, and since last summer, we've been sleeping under different blankets, on top of our comforter. I like to be covered up a lot, she doesn't and likes the fan on. Plus, we both hate making the bed.

[pocon1]

nothing to say

[Impetuous1]

We have one bed and one comforter. Though this thread sort of gives me an idea since my boyfriend's a total blanket hog. If I did do the two blankets on one bed, I would miss reaching over with my foot to touch him. We have a queen and queen comforter. Although I now realize I should have gone for a king comforter.

[alicat]

We have a king size frame with two twins in it. They're both still in good shape so we've never bothered to buy a king mattress set (that and the expense). I feel bad for his 6' 2" frame sleeping on the short mattress but he doesn't seem to mind. The crack doesn't bother us unless we're being, um, rambunctous.

Oh, we use one set of sheets and one blanket/comforter. I'd like to know who decides the sizes on coverings. The two king comforters we have barely hang 6" over each side which can lead to a cold moment when one of us turns over WITH it instead of under it.

Ali

[shesus]

We have one queen sized bed and one cover.

As for the 2 twins pushed together, we had to do that once on vacation. I had a horrible dream of being paralyzed. I woke up screaming realizing I really couldn't move. I had fallen between the beds and got stuck.

[Prince]

One bed, one comforter. Not interested in any other way.

[MexicanOnABike]

If my gf agreed to me having a sex slave, then i would get 2 beds. haha. 1 queen for sleeping and 1 king size for the other things.

[abaya]

Originally Posted by alicat

We have a king size frame with two twins in it. They're both still in good shape so we've never bothered to buy a king mattress set (that and the expense). I feel bad for his 6' 2" frame sleeping on the short mattress but he doesn't seem to mind. The crack doesn't bother us unless we're being, um, rambunctous.

Oh, we use one set of sheets and one blanket/comforter. I'd like to know who decides the sizes on coverings. The two king comforters we have barely hang 6" over each side which can lead to a cold moment when one of us turns over WITH it instead of under it.

Ali

Did you vote in the poll? I didn't see any votes under "2 mattresses, one comforter" yet... get up there and represent!!

Seriously though, I think this is very much a cultural thing. If more TFP members were Icelandic, we'd see a huge majority on the two beds, two comforters thing. But I think that with a few exceptions, most TFP'ers are American.

[SiN]

when i was in germany, it was 1 bed frame, 2 matresses and all bedcoverings.

makes sense to a point ... but that mattress-crack was quite annoying at times!

so yeah... it's a european-ish thing?

I can't answer to the poll since i'm currently sharing a bed with just my 2 cats ...

but, i do live in the US, and have/would likely do the one big bed thing ...

granted, i've been accused of being a 'burrito-er' ... (as in, me + blankets = burrito) ... and, i do think 2 separate beds would be interesting, if only for even more variety in places to have sex

[blade02]

I'm more of a loner when it comes to sleeping. When I get ready to sleep, I only have one mission, and that is to sleep. I always sleep best by myself. I only sleep well on my stomach, so things like spooning, and other forms of cudding just put me in uncomfortable positions. I have also found that in most cases girls' hair will make my nose stuffy and iritate my eyes all night (if a girl has too much perfume on for a date, my eyes are usually watery before the movie is over). When I spend the night at a girls place, I always find that the next night I'm at my place is what I most enjoy. Therefore I voted for two beds, two houses.

[highthief]

King Size bed, King Size duvet.

My grandparents had two singles in the same room. I remember my grandmother's bed being incredibly squishy and my grandfather's being hard as a park bench. Their house was in England but big beds I don't think were that common for some of the reasons already stated.

[mirevolver]

This is something I've seen all over Europe. Often in Germany if you ask for a "Doppelzimmer" (double occupancy room) at a hotel, you will find that two beds are together in the same bedframe.

One big annoyance I had was in Madrid. My fiancée and I were in two beds that were pushed together, the bed frames had wheels and in typical Spanish style, the floor was hardwood. One moment, there was a crack between two matresses and the next, it was a massive chasm. Spooning was done just to keep the beds together.

Having experienced both single bed and single set of covers, as well as bed/covers per person, my fiancée and I prefer one bed and one set of covers for both of us.