France Elevates its Security Level - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

SirLance · 10-11-2005, 07:16 AM

As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability

It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert:

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides". The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in unform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose".

Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help".

The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.

AngelicVampire · 10-11-2005, 08:01 AM

ROTFLMAO... literally cause I fell off my chair!

Great one, I love it.

edwhit · 10-11-2005, 10:16 AM

LMAO, that's great!

fizzledorf · 10-11-2005, 11:04 AM

great work making that one up!

frogza · 10-11-2005, 11:08 AM

Got a good laugh, thanks

SirLance · 10-11-2005, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fizzledorf

great work making that one up!

Thanks, but I can't take credit for it. It was emailed to me.

biznatch · 10-11-2005, 01:25 PM

Funny jokes. My girlfriend was making fun of me and my french-ness lol.

Lwang9276 · 10-11-2005, 05:25 PM

lol good stuff!!!!! freakin now my day is good but now i ahve a 3 hour class

lol

politicophile · 10-11-2005, 07:28 PM

Not to take the jokes seriously, but when have the Americans ever begged the British for help? It seems like either America is fighting Britain, or Britain is begging America for help...

MichaelFarker · 10-12-2005, 01:40 AM

very, very funny, all of it

yes, we Americans beg the British for help (without any military need for it) because we don't want to look like a bully by attacking someone without anyone going with us (even if they declared war on us)

joemc91 · 10-12-2005, 10:24 AM

The British just cracked me up.

Zeraph · 10-12-2005, 11:47 AM

That had me chuckling for a couple minutes

10-11-2005, 07:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	France Elevates its Security Level As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The normal level is "General Arrogance", and the only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability It's not only the French that are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain, "Ineffective combat operations" and "Change sides". The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdain" to "Dress in unform and sing marching songs". They have two higher levels: "Invade a neighbour" and "Lose". Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "Isolationism" to "Find another oil-rich nation for regime change". Their remaining higher alert states are "Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)" and "Beg the British for help". The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666. __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

10-11-2005, 07:28 PM	#9 (permalink)
politicophile Addict	Not to take the jokes seriously, but when have the Americans ever begged the British for help? It seems like either America is fighting Britain, or Britain is begging America for help... __________________ The peculiar evil of silencing the expression of an opinion is, that it is robbing the human race; posterity as well as the existing generation; those who dissent from the opinion, still more than those who hold it. If the opinion is right, they are deprived of the opportunity of exchanging error for truth: if wrong, they lose, what is almost as great a benefit, the clearer perception and livelier impression of truth, produced by its collision with error. ~John Stuart Mill, On Liberty

10-11-2005, 08:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
AngelicVampire Insane	ROTFLMAO... literally cause I fell off my chair! Great one, I love it.

10-11-2005, 10:16 AM	#3 (permalink)
edwhit Tilted	LMAO, that's great!

10-11-2005, 11:04 AM	#4 (permalink)
fizzledorf Insane	great work making that one up!

10-11-2005, 11:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
frogza Registered User Location: Right Here	Got a good laugh, thanks

10-11-2005, 01:25 PM	#7 (permalink)
biznatch Junkie Location: France	Funny jokes. My girlfriend was making fun of me and my french-ness lol.

10-11-2005, 05:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lwang9276 Crazy	lol good stuff!!!!! freakin now my day is good but now i ahve a 3 hour class lol

10-12-2005, 01:40 AM	#10 (permalink)
MichaelFarker 2+2=5? Not again! Location: Dallas, Texas	very, very funny, all of it yes, we Americans beg the British for help (without any military need for it) because we don't want to look like a bully by attacking someone without anyone going with us (even if they declared war on us)

10-12-2005, 10:24 AM	#11 (permalink)
joemc91 Insane Location: Chicago	The British just cracked me up.

10-12-2005, 11:47 AM	#12 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	That had me chuckling for a couple minutes