Who's on First (slightly updated....) - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

SirLance · 08-05-2005, 07:22 AM

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The main man in China!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars.

Redlemon · 08-05-2005, 07:29 AM

Nice. I've also heard a good version with a concert promoter trying to take out an ad for The Who, Guess Who, and Yes.

SirLance · 08-05-2005, 07:32 AM

Oh, please post it, I bet it's funny!

Charlatan · 08-05-2005, 07:39 AM

That was clever... I just introduced my son to the genius that is "Who's on First" the other day...

Redlemon · 08-05-2005, 07:45 AM

Who's On First, by The Credibility Gap. I couldn't find a text version, but here it is in streaming RealAudio. (4:14)

SirLance · 08-05-2005, 08:01 AM

Awesome! That is hysterical!

MexicanOnABike · 08-05-2005, 03:41 PM

ABBOT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou
ABBOT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou
ABBOT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOT: Do you want a computer with windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
ABBOT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOT: Software for windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOT: Yes
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, let's just say,
I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOT: Word.
COSTELLO: what word?
ABBOT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOT: The word you get when you click the blue W.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
business. Just tell me what I need!
ABBOT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2,3&4. Can I watch
them?
ABBOT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOT: you click the blue 1.
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOT: The blue 1 is RealOne and the blue W is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for windows!
ABBOT: No, just one. but it's the most popular Word in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty
much wiped out all the other Words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOT: RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne isn't even part of
Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping?
You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOT: Why not? They own it.

sadistikdreams · 08-21-2005, 09:51 PM

Haha, one spoofing Bush and one spoofing Windows.

Classic.

Especially the last line on the latter.

Inquiring Mind · 08-25-2005, 08:13 PM

Now that's really very funny. Love it. You've clearly earned your knighthood for services to humour.

08-05-2005, 07:22 AM	#1 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Who's on First (slightly updated....) George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The main man in China! Condi: Hu is leading China. George: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China. George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi: That's the man's name. George: That's who's name? Condi: Yes. George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in the Middle East. Condi: That's correct. George: Then who is in China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir is in China? Condi: No, sir. George: Then who is? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Condi: No, sir. George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condi: Kofi? George: No, thanks. Condi: You want Kofi? George: No. Condi: You don't want Kofi. George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condi: Yes, sir. George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi? George: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condi: And call who? George: Who is the guy at the U.N? Condi: Hu is the guy in China. George: Will you stay out of China?! Condi: Yes, sir. George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi. George: All right! With cream and two sugars. __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

08-05-2005, 07:29 AM	#2 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Nice. I've also heard a good version with a concert promoter trying to take out an ad for The Who, Guess Who, and Yes. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

08-05-2005, 07:32 AM	#3 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Oh, please post it, I bet it's funny! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

08-05-2005, 07:39 AM	#4 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	That was clever... I just introduced my son to the genius that is "Who's on First" the other day... __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

08-05-2005, 07:45 AM	#5 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Who's On First, by The Credibility Gap. I couldn't find a text version, but here it is in streaming RealAudio. (4:14) __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

08-05-2005, 08:01 AM	#6 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Awesome! That is hysterical! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

08-05-2005, 03:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
MexicanOnABike Location: up north	ABBOT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou ABBOT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou ABBOT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOT: Do you want a computer with windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows? ABBOT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOT: Software for windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got? ABBOT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOT: Yes COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, let's just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOT: Word. COSTELLO: what word? ABBOT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOT: The word you get when you click the blue W. COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet? ABBOT: Yes, you want Real One. COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me what I need! ABBOT: RealOne. COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2,3&4. Can I watch them? ABBOT: Of course. COSTELLO: Great, with what? ABBOT: RealOne. COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do? ABBOT: you click the blue 1. COSTELLO: I click the blue one what? ABBOT: The blue 1. COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w? ABBOT: The blue 1 is RealOne and the blue W is Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for windows! ABBOT: No, just one. but it's the most popular Word in the world. COSTELLO: It is? ABBOT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there. COSTELLO: And that word is real one? ABBOT: RealOne has nothing to do with Word. RealOne isn't even part of Office. COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer? ABBOT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOT: Why not? They own it. __________________ - Movie Reviews - Ratings-

08-21-2005, 09:51 PM	#8 (permalink)
sadistikdreams lonely rolling star Location: Seattle.	Haha, one spoofing Bush and one spoofing Windows. Classic. Especially the last line on the latter. __________________ "Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials." -Lin Yutang hearts, by d.a.

08-25-2005, 08:13 PM	#9 (permalink)
Inquiring Mind Upright Location: The Land Of Manna-AKA Australia!	Now that's really very funny. Love it. You've clearly earned your knighthood for services to humour. __________________ But why??