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Old 05-27-2005, 12:12 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Word Jokes

1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
2. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
3. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
4. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
6. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
8. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
9. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
10. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
11. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
12. When two egoists meet, it's an I for an I.
13. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
14. Definition of a will: A dead give away.
15. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
16. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
17. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
18. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?
20. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
21. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
22. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
23. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
24. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
25. Every calendar's days are numbered.
26. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
28. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at
large.
29. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
30. Once you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
31. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
32. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
33. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
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Emo Philips
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Old 05-28-2005, 04:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Some of those are classic, thanks.
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Old 05-28-2005, 11:46 AM   #3 (permalink)
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That's quality stuff!
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Old 05-28-2005, 04:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
If a parsley farmer loses a lawsuit, they garnish his wages.
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Old 06-03-2005, 05:27 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: USS George Washington
Great stuff. Consider it forwarded.

-Mikey
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Old 06-06-2005, 05:21 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: Central Coast CA
oh god those are bad...


great job!
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