Bear Hunting - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Jackebear · 04-06-2005, 04:06 AM

My buddy just mailed me this joke...it's not bad.

BEAR HUNTING

Jon was excited about his new rifle and wanted to try it out, so he went
bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a
tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear.
The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or
we have sex." Jon decided to bend over.

Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge
He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it.
Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown
bear stood right next to him.

The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices.
Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Jon thought it
was better to comply.

Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered.
Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear
and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder
He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there.

The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting,
do you?"

streak_56 · 04-06-2005, 06:52 AM

Thats a good one. Poor Jon... I guess that goes to show... revenge=rough sex with bears.

SirLance · 04-06-2005, 02:52 PM

Funny one! Jon should take up fishing!

Brewmaniac · 04-13-2005, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SirLance

Funny one! Jon should take up fishing!

Easy for you to say, you have never been fucked by a shark!

Brewmaniac · 04-13-2005, 01:48 PM

Must have hit submit twice, sorry.

SirLance · 04-13-2005, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brewmaniac

Easy for you to say, you have never been fucked by a shark!

I am an avid scuba diver. I have come close...

By the way, you know why scuba divers carry knives? It's for the sharks. You see a shark, you stab your buddy, you swim away...

loganmule · 04-17-2005, 09:59 AM

this is slightly different than the version I heard, where the hunter kept shooting and missing the same bear...both are good though

ranger · 04-19-2005, 07:57 AM

logan, there is that version as well as one where jon keeps getting progresively bigger weapons to kill this bear.

cellophanedeity · 04-19-2005, 07:45 PM

My mother had sent me this joke the other day. She thought it was hilarious, and read it to all of us, grandparents included, at the last family gathering.

Even gramma liked it!

04-06-2005, 04:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
Jackebear Insane	Bear Hunting My buddy just mailed me this joke...it's not bad. BEAR HUNTING Jon was excited about his new rifle and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have sex." Jon decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him. The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough sex." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there. The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?" __________________ Life's jounney is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn-out shouting, "Holy sh*t! What a ride!" - unknown

04-06-2005, 02:52 PM	#3 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Funny one! Jon should take up fishing! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

04-13-2005, 01:48 PM	#5 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	Must have hit submit twice, sorry. __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" Last edited by Brewmaniac; 04-13-2005 at 01:50 PM..

04-19-2005, 07:57 AM	#8 (permalink)
ranger Crazy Location: antioch IL	logan, there is that version as well as one where jon keeps getting progresively bigger weapons to kill this bear. __________________ there are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and my way, which is the wrong way faster.

04-19-2005, 07:45 PM	#9 (permalink)
cellophanedeity Heliotrope Location: A warm room	My mother had sent me this joke the other day. She thought it was hilarious, and read it to all of us, grandparents included, at the last family gathering. Even gramma liked it! __________________ who am I to refuse the universe? -Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers

04-06-2005, 06:52 AM	#2 (permalink)
streak_56 who ever said streaking was a bad thing? Location: Calgary	Thats a good one. Poor Jon... I guess that goes to show... revenge=rough sex with bears.

04-17-2005, 09:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
loganmule Junkie Location: midwest	this is slightly different than the version I heard, where the hunter kept shooting and missing the same bear...both are good though