What do women really want? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Brewer · 03-30-2005, 11:53 AM

(Hoping it hasn't been posted already...)

What Do Women Want?

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals.

So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question. . . What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered a more repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life
and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's
question thusly: What a woman really wants, she answered. . . is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened to his wife.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.

Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day...or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends at court, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below BUT. . . make YOUR choice before you scroll down below.

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Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now. . . what is the moral to this story?

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The moral is. . .

If you don't let a woman have her own way. . .

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Things are going to get real ugly!

SirLance · 03-30-2005, 12:19 PM

Being an Arthurphile, I must say I really liked this. If I recall correctly, in the original, Gawain and Arthur were accosted by a giant while riding, who, being unarmed, challenged them to a battle of wits. Arthur has to run the kingdom, so he sends Gawain to find the answer. Gawain searches far and wide, and finally goes to the forest of ingelwood, rumored to contain a magic well with an all-knowing femine guardian. He meets the ugly hag, and the rest is substantially the same.

The moral, I think, is a recent addition...

and a funny one!

Thanks!

Gatorade Frost · 03-30-2005, 02:07 PM

Interesting. I thought this was a Canterbury Tale.

Funny, though, interesting 'moral' too.

saut · 03-30-2005, 03:22 PM

That was a pretty good. I felt like a pretty big dumbass though when I decided I wanted her to be hot 1/2 the time.

HLP · 03-30-2005, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by saut

That was a pretty good. I felt like a pretty big dumbass though when I decided I wanted her to be hot 1/2 the time.

Good! I thought I was the only one.

lindseylatch · 03-30-2005, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HLP

Good! I thought I was the only one.

I'm a chick, and I was trying to decide which I thought would be better...I mean, she did ask which he would prefer...

joeshoe · 03-31-2005, 12:54 AM

I heard something like this before.

I thought the moral was... underneath all the beauty, a woman is still a witch!

03-30-2005, 11:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
Brewer Upright	What do women really want? (Hoping it hasn't been posted already...) What Do Women Want? Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question. . . What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered a more repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thusly: What a woman really wants, she answered. . . is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened to his wife. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day...or night? Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends at court, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments? What would YOU do? What Lancelot chose is below BUT. . . make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. > > > > > > > Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now. . . what is the moral to this story? > > > > > > > > The moral is. . . If you don't let a woman have her own way. . . > > > > > Things are going to get real ugly!

03-30-2005, 12:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Being an Arthurphile, I must say I really liked this. If I recall correctly, in the original, Gawain and Arthur were accosted by a giant while riding, who, being unarmed, challenged them to a battle of wits. Arthur has to run the kingdom, so he sends Gawain to find the answer. Gawain searches far and wide, and finally goes to the forest of ingelwood, rumored to contain a magic well with an all-knowing femine guardian. He meets the ugly hag, and the rest is substantially the same. The moral, I think, is a recent addition... and a funny one! Thanks! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

03-30-2005, 02:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
Gatorade Frost Rookie	Interesting. I thought this was a Canterbury Tale. Funny, though, interesting 'moral' too.

03-30-2005, 03:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
saut Registered User Location: Pittsburgh	That was a pretty good. I felt like a pretty big dumbass though when I decided I wanted her to be hot 1/2 the time.

03-31-2005, 12:54 AM	#7 (permalink)
joeshoe Crazy Location: California	I heard something like this before. I thought the moral was... underneath all the beauty, a woman is still a witch!