the_wanderer

When you have an "I hate my job" day try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer
section.

You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by "Johnson and Johnson."
Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the
phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.
Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on
your bed.

Open the package and remove the thermometer.
Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped
or broken.

Take out the material that comes with the thermometer and read it.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested."

Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times:
"I am so glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson."

Irishsean

An oldie but a goody!

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There are no absolute rules of conduct, either in peace or war. Everything depends on circumstances.
Leon Trotsky

WarriorBuddha

That one's new on me. I love it. Thanks.

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Thockmorton knew if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.

CinnamonGirl

I'll keep that in mind.

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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Delvid

Never heard that one before. Funny stuff.

Ishmal

hahahahaha. i'll try that 2day afta work.

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"Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular."

kerry512

AHHAHAHAHAHHA funny