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#1 (permalink) |
Upright
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Pretty predictable, but oh well.
Three young men were on vacation, and got lost while hiking. Expecting it only to be a short excursion, they brought no food and little water. Starving and dehydrated after the first few days, they finally stumble upon a house in the middle of the wilderness. A gray old woman lives there, and hobbles out with the help of a crutch. They instantly begin begging her for food.
"Indeed, I have food--some of the best you will ever taste, but only for the strapping young lads that have sex with me," she replies to their pleas. The friends, nearly dead from starvation, agree. The first one enters and finds the table already set--corn on the cob, glazed ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes--everything he could want. The old woman lies on the table and hikes up her skirt. The young man nearly vomits, and decides to trick the old hag. He grabs a cob of corn and begins thrusting it into her crotch. She doesn't seem to notice the difference, so he continues. Eventually she orgasms, with so much power that the corn is shot out of his hand. She complains and begins to sit up, so he grabs another cob and does the same. Once again she orgasms and shoots the cob out of his hand. This time, he makes as if he's pulling up his pants, and demands food. She obeys, and he walks outside to find his friends laughing. "What's so damn funny?" he says to them angrily. "Hahaha, nothing, just that you had to screw that old hag to get some food, and meanwhile we got to eat two cobs of buttered corn that came flying out the window." |
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#10 (permalink) |
Junkie
Location: Louisiana
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wipes a tear from his eye.. son of a bitch.. god my day was low as hell till i read this.. thanks
__________________
It means only one thing, and everything: Cut. Once committed to fight, Cut. Everything else is secondary. Cut. That is your duty, your purpose, your hunger. There is no rule more important, no commitment that overrides that one. Cut. The lines are a portrayal of the dance. Cut from the void, not from bewilderment. Cut the enemy as quickly and directly as possible. Cut with certainty. Cut decisively, resoultely. Cut into his strength. Flow through the gaps in his guard. Cut him. Cut him down utterly. Don't allow him a breath. Crush him. Cut him without mercy to the depth of his spirit. It is the balance to life: death. It is the dance with death. It is the law a war wizard lives by, or he dies. |
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Tags |
predictable, pretty |
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