Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Interests > Tilted Humor


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-13-2004, 12:58 AM   #1 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Curtain Rods

CURTAIN RODS


Hell hath no fury........

After 20 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary.

His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's multimillion dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a little better, he prevailed. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.

The Wife spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music,and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning &mopping and airing the place out Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house...

Then the maid and the cook quit...

Finally, they could not take the ste nch any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

.....including the curtain rods.
acostello is offline  
Old 07-13-2004, 09:09 AM   #2 (permalink)
Addict
 
Silverbrain's Avatar
 
Location: Nor Cal
lol, sweet justice
__________________
Over Thinking, Over Analyzing
Seperates the Body from the Mind - MJK
Silverbrain is offline  
Old 07-14-2004, 03:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
DILLIGAF
 
PayUp's Avatar
 
Location: AZ
Shrewd evil woman. I like her thinking.
__________________
Born to Lose.
PayUp is offline  
Old 07-15-2004, 07:37 AM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Kazic's Avatar
 
Location: Fortress of Solitude
good stuff. thanks.
__________________
"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man
affected us as kids,we'd all be running around in
darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening
to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989
Kazic is offline  
Old 07-18-2004, 09:38 PM   #5 (permalink)
Insane
 
The woman always wins in divorce jokes...
braindamage351 is offline  
Old 07-28-2004, 03:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: PA
Lol I will have to remeber that one.....
korngoood is offline  
 

Tags
curtain, rods


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:47 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73