25 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU'RE WHITE TRASH
 

1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.

5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."

6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch
this."

8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are,"Gentlemen
start your engines."

12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
wheels.

13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how
much gas is in it.

14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.

17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against

it.

18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

21. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on

the side.

22. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

23. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working R.V.

24. Your neighbours think you're a detective because a cop always brings
you home.

25. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

Some good stuff there, thanks!

Ha! Thanks.

Jeff Foxworthy wrote most of those, possibly all. "You might be a redneck..." His autobiography "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem" is a fairly entertaining read - it's currently in my bathroom.

My favorites are the blue book and the cool whip. Great stuff! ;)

Cool I passed.

LOL... I remember when I was a kid, we had one of those Foxworthy "You might be a redneck if..." page-a-day calendars. By about February, we had to throw it out because it just kept hitting too close to home :D

Hey I got an A . . . Awe shit . . . .

S

hahaha priceless

Whoa. I've actually seem some of those in practical application.
Very nice!