A Week in Hell - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

uncle phil · 03-13-2009, 02:19 AM

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

Satan: 'Why so glum?'

Guy: 'What do you think? I'm in hell!'

Satan: 'Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?'

Guy: 'Sure, I love to drink.'

Satan: 'Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers. We drink 'til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway.'

Guy: 'Gee that sounds great!'

Satan: 'You a smoker?'

Guy: 'You better believe it'

Satan: 'All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?'

Guy: 'Wow ... that's awesome!'

Satan: 'I bet you like to gamble.'

Guy: 'Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.'

Satan: 'Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow.'

Guy: 'Cool!'

Satan: 'What about drugs?'

Guy: 'Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean ....?'

Satan: 'That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of drugs. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares.'

Guy: 'Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!'

Satan: 'You gay?'

Guy: 'No...'

Satan: 'Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough...'

Tully Mars · 03-13-2009, 05:41 AM

You mean gay as in homo, not happy, right?

Leto · 03-13-2009, 06:10 AM

homo as in gay, not the 3.5% milk right?

03-13-2009, 02:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	A Week in Hell One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil... Satan: 'Why so glum?' Guy: 'What do you think? I'm in hell!' Satan: 'Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?' Guy: 'Sure, I love to drink.' Satan: 'Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers. We drink 'til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway.' Guy: 'Gee that sounds great!' Satan: 'You a smoker?' Guy: 'You better believe it' Satan: 'All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?' Guy: 'Wow ... that's awesome!' Satan: 'I bet you like to gamble.' Guy: 'Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.' Satan: 'Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow.' Guy: 'Cool!' Satan: 'What about drugs?' Guy: 'Are you kidding? I love drugs! You don't mean ....?' Satan: 'That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of drugs. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares.' Guy: 'Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!' Satan: 'You gay?' Guy: 'No...' Satan: 'Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough...' __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

03-13-2009, 05:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
Tully Mars Living in a Warmer Insanity Super Moderator Location: Yucatan, Mexico	You mean gay as in homo, not happy, right? __________________ I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

03-13-2009, 06:10 AM	#3 (permalink)
Leto Junkie Location: The Danforth	homo as in gay, not the 3.5% milk right? __________________ You said you didn't give a fuck about hockey And I never saw someone say that before You held my hand and we walked home the long way You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr http://dune.wikia.com/wiki/Leto_Atreides_I