A stockbroker dies and goes to heaven... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Glad-I-Ate-Her · 06-16-2003, 05:54 PM

A stockbroker dies and goes to heaven and is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter says to him, "In today's world, we give you a choice of where you would like your soul to spend eternity -- in heaven up here with us or down in hell. And, we offer you a chance to sample each for a couple of days before making your decision."

The stockbroker decides to spend a few days in heaven first. Everything is very peaceful, bucolic. The people are very friendly and polite. But frankly, he is a little bit bored.

After a couple of days in heaven, he goes to hell and knocks on the door. The devil himself answers the door and greets him. The stockbroker looks around and sees nubile naked teenage girls, gambling, sports, drugs and liquor. So he spends three days in hell having the time of his life.

After the 3rd day, he goes back to the Pearly Gates and is met by St. Peter. He tells St. Peter that,after giving it careful thought, he decides he wants to spend eternity in hell. He tells St. Peter that although heaven was beautiful, it was just too quiet and serene for him. St. Peter says good bye to him and the stockbroker goes down to hell. He knocks on the door and again, the devil himself answers it. He tells the devil he wants to spend eternity in hell. The devil pulls him through the door, locks and barricades the door quickly behind him. The stockbroker looks around. He sees no girls, sports, gambling, drugs, etc. Instead he sees filth, dirt, rats, ugliness, chain gangs, prisons, fire and brimstone and other horrible conditions.

He turns to the devil and asks him, "What is going on? How could you deceive me so?"

The devil says to the stockbroker "You're someone to talk. If anyone should know this, it's a stockbroker. Yesterday you were a prospect. Today, you are a client!"

Glad

snowace56 · 06-17-2003, 11:12 AM

Stockbrokers are evil...he got what he deserved. They are kinda like lawyers and car dealers, they make money off lying to people.

DEI37 · 06-17-2003, 02:32 PM

That is excellent! And true!

Flesh · 06-17-2003, 06:44 PM

lol.. good stuff

SirLance · 06-17-2003, 10:29 PM

Indeed!

I heard it told a similar way, except instead of a stockbroker it's Bill Gates, and instead of prospect vs. client, it's Hell 3.1 vs Hell 2000...

06-16-2003, 05:54 PM	#1 (permalink)
Glad-I-Ate-Her Junkie Location: 1 mile from Ground Zero	A stockbroker dies and goes to heaven... A stockbroker dies and goes to heaven and is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says to him, "In today's world, we give you a choice of where you would like your soul to spend eternity -- in heaven up here with us or down in hell. And, we offer you a chance to sample each for a couple of days before making your decision." The stockbroker decides to spend a few days in heaven first. Everything is very peaceful, bucolic. The people are very friendly and polite. But frankly, he is a little bit bored. After a couple of days in heaven, he goes to hell and knocks on the door. The devil himself answers the door and greets him. The stockbroker looks around and sees nubile naked teenage girls, gambling, sports, drugs and liquor. So he spends three days in hell having the time of his life. After the 3rd day, he goes back to the Pearly Gates and is met by St. Peter. He tells St. Peter that,after giving it careful thought, he decides he wants to spend eternity in hell. He tells St. Peter that although heaven was beautiful, it was just too quiet and serene for him. St. Peter says good bye to him and the stockbroker goes down to hell. He knocks on the door and again, the devil himself answers it. He tells the devil he wants to spend eternity in hell. The devil pulls him through the door, locks and barricades the door quickly behind him. The stockbroker looks around. He sees no girls, sports, gambling, drugs, etc. Instead he sees filth, dirt, rats, ugliness, chain gangs, prisons, fire and brimstone and other horrible conditions. He turns to the devil and asks him, "What is going on? How could you deceive me so?" The devil says to the stockbroker "You're someone to talk. If anyone should know this, it's a stockbroker. Yesterday you were a prospect. Today, you are a client!" Glad __________________ I'm "Glad I Ate Her" because the payback was worth it!!

06-17-2003, 02:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
DEI37 Go faster! Location: Wisconsin	That is excellent! And true! __________________ Generally speaking, if you were to get what you really deserve, you might be unpleasantly surprised.

06-17-2003, 10:29 PM	#5 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Indeed! I heard it told a similar way, except instead of a stockbroker it's Bill Gates, and instead of prospect vs. client, it's Hell 3.1 vs Hell 2000... __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

06-17-2003, 11:12 AM	#2 (permalink)
snowace56 Loser Location: Bakersfield...The rest stop town	Stockbrokers are evil...he got what he deserved. They are kinda like lawyers and car dealers, they make money off lying to people.

06-17-2003, 06:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
Flesh Psycho	lol.. good stuff