He had no arms - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

SirLance · 03-19-2006, 10:51 AM

An armless man walked into a bar which is empty, except for the bartender.

He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms.

The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips.

The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips.

The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him.

The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is your restroom?"

"Well," the bartender replies, "the closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street."

Brewmaniac · 03-19-2006, 02:20 PM

You bet it is! Thanks Sirlance

Daniel_ · 03-20-2006, 12:35 PM

Tee Hee!

Daniel_ · 03-21-2006, 12:02 PM

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again.

She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT
RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE
APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened
the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had
no arms or legs.

"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow said.
"Just look at you ... you have no legs!"

The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed??"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the door
bell, didn't I?"

SirLance · 03-21-2006, 03:34 PM

Funny! Good one Daniel!

rlbond86 · 03-26-2006, 05:59 PM

haha nice!

03-19-2006, 10:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	He had no arms An armless man walked into a bar which is empty, except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip the glass to his lips. The bartender did this until the man finished his drink. He then asked if the bartender would get a hanky from his pocket and wipe the foam from his lips. The bartender did it and commented it must be very difficult not to have arms and have to ask someone to do nearly everything for him. The man said, "Yes, it is a bit embarrassing at times. By the way, where is your restroom?" "Well," the bartender replies, "the closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street." __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

03-19-2006, 02:20 PM	#2 (permalink)
Brewmaniac Searching for the perfect brew!	You bet it is! Thanks Sirlance __________________ "That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

03-20-2006, 12:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
Daniel_ Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It! Location: Southern England	Tee Hee! __________________ ╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗ Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air, And deep beneath the rolling waves, In labyrinths of Coral Caves, The Echo of a distant time Comes willowing across the sand; And everthing is Green and Submarine ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

03-21-2006, 12:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
Daniel_ Evil Priest: The Devil Made Me Do It! Location: Southern England	A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs. "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow said. "Just look at you ... you have no legs!" The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!" "You don't have any arms either!" she snorted. Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!" She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed??" The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the door bell, didn't I?" __________________ ╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗ Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air, And deep beneath the rolling waves, In labyrinths of Coral Caves, The Echo of a distant time Comes willowing across the sand; And everthing is Green and Submarine ╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

03-21-2006, 03:34 PM	#5 (permalink)
SirLance Junkie Location: In the middle of the desert.	Funny! Good one Daniel! __________________ DEMOCRACY is where your vote counts, FEUDALISM is where your count votes.

03-26-2006, 05:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
rlbond86 Insane	haha nice!