George Carlin - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

slimshaydee · 10-13-2005, 06:14 AM

man1: do you believe in GOD?
man2: no
(bang!, dead!)
man1: NEXT!
man1: do you believe in GOD?
man3: yes!
man1

pauses)
man1: do you believe in MY GOD?
man3: no
(bang!, dead!)
man1: NEXT!

Redlemon · 10-13-2005, 11:21 AM

Emo Phillips said it better.

Quote:

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

uncle phil · 10-13-2005, 03:00 PM

fuck, shit, cunt, piss, cocksucker, motherfucker, and TITS!!!

thesupermikey · 10-13-2005, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uncle phil

fuck, shit, cunt, piss, cocksucker, motherfucker, and TITS!!!

and tites doesn't even belong on the list!!

Psycho Dad · 10-13-2005, 06:34 PM

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.

uncle phil · 10-14-2005, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesupermikey

and tites doesn't even belong on the list!!

tites.....?

10-13-2005, 06:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
slimshaydee If you've read this, PM me and say so Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?	George Carlin man1: do you believe in GOD? man2: no (bang!, dead!) man1: NEXT! man1: do you believe in GOD? man3: yes! man1pauses) man1: do you believe in MY GOD? man3: no (bang!, dead!) man1: NEXT!

10-13-2005, 03:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	fuck, shit, cunt, piss, cocksucker, motherfucker, and TITS!!! __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

10-13-2005, 06:34 PM	#5 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.