tossing babies on fire
 

in reference to thread http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=79397

BoCo sorta said:

Is there anything I can put on firewood that's still green (only a few months old) that will force it to burn thoroughly instead of going out after only being halfway burned?

Please, no suggestions like gasoline or babies. I want serious suggestions.

the Marq said:

First make sure there is plenty of airflow around the wood. Use some kind of a frame so the wood isn't sitting right on the floor of the Fireplace.
Also make sure that the wood is chopped up quite small, nothing should be bigger around than your wrist; especially if it is wet.

If none of that works, try tossing in a few gasoline-soaked babies.

So I'm thinking:

It's morally repugnant to waste gasoline. Try throwing the babies dry first.

No, but not seriously, folks:

If God wanted us to toss babies on fires to keep them burning, he'd have...

what?

...equipped them with an Easy-Light® strip.

guess they have one, but you can't control when the gas will come out.

... made them wake you up in the middle of the night to feed them.
... given them no control over their bowels.
... assured that they would otherwise grow up to become teenagers.
... convinced people that they needed to be protected from nude pictures.
... furnished them with a very limited and highly annoying mode of communication, such as "waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa", means, well, anything at all.

(Father of two, as yet unbarbequed, young heathen here.)

closed the thread in the name of good taste.