I'm forming a horde
 

No, not an army. This is a horde! We're gonna roam the countryside, piliging and stealing and basically giving villagers a hard time. We'll wear helmets with horns on 'em and bathe infrequently. Personally, I'm gonna grow a kick ass fu-manchu mustache.

So, anyone want to join the Troublebot Horde? I'll supply the horses and simitars, you supply the attitude. Come up with a good horde name and a place you want to invade and we'll kick this horde off right.

Troublebot
Poorly Washed Horde Leader.

Finally, a club for the rest of us. I'd just love some good pillaging and burning. I will just bring my own battle axe but I really want one of those helmets with horns. I want one with the fur trim.

I say we invade Rodeo Drive, lots of money and wimmen. They won't know what hit em.

I'm gonna be Buttcrust the Berserker during horde hours.

Welcome Buttcrust!

Rodeo Drive is an excellent choice for a horde invasion. I'm going to make sure I leave with a Bentley. It should look good with the horned helmet.

Can I be lazy in this horde of yours, sir?

For I must be lazy. In fact, I am too lazy to be lazy. Lazy is too much work.

Tinfoil,

Well, you'll have to contribute in some way. Buttcrust will be cooking all the small dogs we find on Rodeo Drive and I'll be drawing up battle plans in my Bentley. What can you contribute?

Troublebot the Stinky
Grand Horde Poobah

My charming attitude and clever tongue.

I'll be your Public Relations rep!

Interesting Tinfoil, you are in. I'm waiting to see what kind of "spin" you can put on us demolishing Rodeo Drive.

Since you have not named yourself, I dub you Tinfoil The Unholy!

Troublebot the Unwashed,
Head Horde Cheese

Rodeo Drive?

Why, Rodeo Drive and it's inhabitants will benefit from the horde's pillaging.

Your businesses will be turning great profit as inhabitants purchase goods to replace those the horde has pillaged, only to be pillaged again.

Home Depot will be swimming in loot (until it is pillaged) as home owners come to purchase goods to finish home improvement project that the horde started. I bet you didn't even know you wanted a window in that wall!

Excellent work Tinfoil, remind me not to kill you.

Troublebot the Greasy and Matted
Big Horde Kahuna

Hail Khan Troublebot!

I would join your horde if there be room for one such as I.

Here is my resume:

I have longed to cut a gory swath of red ruin through those that would stand in my rightful way since my dark god began whispering to me. I will split the fearful faces of those that oppose my wrought iron will, spilling their broken teeth upon the bloodstained floor. Their savaged ears will decorate the supple necks of my women, women that were once theirs. I will drink their finest wines from the skulls of their dear, sweet children. My story will be written on their skins. I will weave my blade into a net of steel wreathing myself with dead until my sword is too heavy too lift. My wrath might destroy us all and I care not as long as all is destroyed with me.

For generations, people will not name their children Giant Hamburger.
-GH

i, uncle phil, would like to be the menstrual...er, minstrel of the horde and as a sample of my abilities, i submit the following dinner-hour background music:


"By the light of the Tennessee moon
From the bilious bubbles of a black lagoon
They make a hound dog howl a SWAT team swoon
Hot frogs on the loose

They've multiplied since '53
Slurping nuclear debris
Amphibious fabulous fancy free
Hot frogs on the loose

CHORUS:
Hippity hoppity here they come
Radioactive lookin' for fun
If you kiss 'em look out for the tongue
Hot frogs on the loose

They got little skinny legs and big bug eyes
Fraternizing's not advised
They like you like they like flies
Hot frogs on the loose

They got a chicken nugget body and a whopper leap
In your bedroom while you sleep
They'll make your Geiger counter beep
Hot frogs on the loose

CHORUS

You can put the pedal to the metal till the rubber squeals
Squish 'em with your tires you got hot wheels
How you know how it feels to be a
Hot frog on the loose

Please do not keep them as pets
Sauteing them may bring regrets
Make a citizen's arrest of a
Hot frog on the loose

Frogs for peace frogs for defense
Don't be nervous don't be tense
We've got a sure-fire three-foot fence
To keep the hot frogs from gettin loose"

Hail Giant Hamburger!

You will be my second in command! The four of us will cut a swath across this land not seen since Sherman and Georgia! Soon, others will join us and we will crush all those that would oppose the Troublebot Horde!

Here is your simitar and your horse, her name is Rosemarie.

Who else will join our fearsome horde? Who else wants to enjoy riches and glory beyond their wildest dreams? Join me and my jewel encrusted bentley today!

Troublebot the Difficult to Get Along With,
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

Can I join your army? And like Buttcrust, I will supply my own weapon... I always had a fondness for the flail...

Other then that, I can be one mean bastard...thats always good right?

Hail Uncle Phil the Tunesmith, Minstrel of the Troublebot Horde!

Thank you for your wonderful tune, I will allow you the pleasure of riding in the Bentley, which should ease your tunemaking!

Troublebot the Possibly Unloved,
Kahn,
Toublebot Horde

Yes! You will be Krwlz the Hard Rocking! Flail away my horde breatheren, flail away!

/me is busy composing our first "after-pillage" melody...

i say we invade ohio, dig it up to make another lake & inhabit michigan, which will then be (almost) an island. we can worry about that little indiana problem later.......

Sorry jimk the damp and deadly, but we cannot invade Ohio. It is the place of my birth and holds strong feelings for me. Could we invade Tennesee or West Virginia instead?

Welcome to the Horde. Here's your simitar and horse. If you can harmonize, go talk to Uncle Phil.

Troublebot the Itchy
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

I long to join your horde! I bring with me hand- and foot-claws such as the assassins in the Diablo II expansion wield. With them, I shall wash the ground in the blood of the innocent as I cut through the cowering masses like a whirlwind of death. After my coming, there shall not be ground visible through the mangled flesh strewn atop it.

Yes, Redmond, WA and its banks, credit unions, and savings & loans will all fear The Thraeryn!

i know not if i can join a horde led by a buckeye.......how can i know your guidance will be pure & untainted by woody hayes dogma??????


damp & deadly? you are a fine snap judge of character - i'll give you that.

I will join your horde! I too can suply my own weapon, the magical double way dildo. It holds a god like smack.

Sir Clitoricus

For immediate release:

The Hord (tm) has announced it's intentions for a hostile takeover of West Virgina.

Troublebot, itchy and unloved bottle washer for The Hord, has declared this to be a fine day for West Virginia. 'For so long have the West Virginians been under the yoke of an opressive government. A government which brought forth horror after unspeakable horror, such as the state slogan 'Wild, Wonderful'. We of The Horde are here to free you of your government. No longer will you be held down by their lackluster marketing skills. Prepare for a new era!'

'Oh, and if you see Sir Clitoricus, tell him to go easy with that magic dildo of his. He almost poked out my eye.'

State leaders were quoted, saying 'Meh.'

West Virginians weer generally pleased with the situation. 'Once you get used to the looting, you hardly know they are there! And hey, I always wanted a door there!'

Robert Kocharian, President of Armenia has spoken with Giant Hamburger, head of valet parking for The Horde, and extended his congratulations. 'Clearly The Horde is a just and fearsome force.'

The Sultan and Prim Minister of Brunei, Sir Bolkiah Hassanal claims Mr. Kocharian's remarks were under made duress, however any attempts to contact the Sultan have resulted in maniacal laughter.

-----

The Horde (TM) is a newly formed organization with aims to revolutionalise the looting industry.

Formed in 2003, The Horde began it's whirlwind tour with the succesful takeover of Rodeo Drive. Pundits have hailed the move as impressive and as a mark of The Horde's mastery.

The Horde is available for private parties and state / country takeovers. Please contact Troublebot for more information.

i will ride with your great horde, troublebot.

i am a great scout... and being Australian i possess an incredible to shout, CRIKEY!!, just like the crocodile hunter. i have also ridden giant kangaroos to school every day, fought and killed thousands of killer crocodiles and fought the barbarous Kiwis with gusto and honour.

However, did you shove your thumb up it's ass Cartman-style?

I think we need a good solid horde slogan....

Re: I'm forming a horde
 

I would join your Horde, but there have been way to many spelling and capitalization errors. First, its scimitar not simitar. Second, any time you refer to the Horde it should be capitalized, unless its just any horde, then its not.

Again with the capitalization problem. Its never 'i' It's 'I' and then Ohio, Michigan, and Indiana are all proper nouns and get capitilized as well.

If we can get all this straightened out then I might think about joining. People do not want to masacre'd by a bunch of heathen unless they are punctually, and gramatically correct heathens. Besides who's not up for some plundering and pillaging and tasting of the local lasses!

I, too, would volunteer for the horde. As an experienced wolf-master I feel your horde could benefit greatly from having savage rabid animals at its beck and call. One unique feature of the wolves I've trained myself, is that they have a special bloodlust for law-school graduates. I think it's the smell of the sheepskin. I won't need to be supplied with a horse, however I could use a good scimitar.

Vermin the Unmentionable,
horde applicant

P.S. I've also got a small wolverine which can be sicced on those overly concerned with grammar and punctuation. Just a thought.

Hail Chieftain!
I, BuddyHawks the Moderately Strong, have long traveled this country in search of a warrior organization focused on looting and destruction. Having been raised in a primarily Horde oriented environment, I have become efficient in the basics of sword flailing and making loud noises. I feel that I, as a warrior, have much to offer Horde Troublebot and will do my best to bring disgrace to our enemies. The only pillaging equipment I already own is a stylish, plaid kilt that I bought off ebay; but just give me a scimitar and a mount, and I will be ready to ride!

yes, this is an ancient tradition among my people.
it really pisses off the beast, and makes if a more honourable, manly victory.

Drink, drink, wherever we may be
We are the drunk and disorderly
And we will drink wherever we may be
For we are the drunk and disorderly...


I was drunk last night
I was drunk the night before
And I'm gonna get drunk like I've never been drunk before
Cos when we're drunk we're as happy as can be ...
For we are the drunk and disorderly

personally i don't think you have enough members to be a horde............ I would join but i think I joined that other guys gang.... we all carry AK-47's..... I think your battle axes and double bladed dildos will lose that fight....DOWN WITH THIS HORDE!!!!!


edit... oh wait I didnt join that gang .. I thought i did.... I guess I have nothing against this horde..... GO HORDE!!!!!!!

Midlandmadman, do you not realize that your puny AK-47's are no match for the oppressive stink of our horde (excuse me Hard8's, Horde)? Your bullets will simply bounce of our disgustingly dirty bodies. I pity you and your so-called "gang."

As for the others, welcome to the Horde. Grab a weapon and a horse. Speak to Hard8s for proper english instruction. We ride on West Virginia at first light.

Troublebot the challenged
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

jimk the damp and deadly,

I leave the buckeye cheering to my hormone-imbalanced relatives. Why watch football when you can pilage and listen to the lamentations of your enemy's women? Woody Hayes is not fit to groom my Fu-Manchu.

As for your name, I call them as I see them.

Being both The Thraeryn and drunk, I demand that we ride on Redmond, Washington next. The banks, credit unions, and savings and loan companies must fear our fearsome weaponry and our more fearsome stench! Plus, bank tellers are usually pretty hot!

Redmond, the heart of all that is truly evil. A truly daunting task indeed. However, with The Thraeryn's powers of hatology, we shall prevail!

Also, I notice the lack of lusty wenches in our horde (voluntarily). This should be a priority.

Major Hangage reporting for doody sir!

Welcome to the Horde Baaa. Grab a horse and ride my Horde brother!

I noticed that too Tinfoil the Unholy. Anyone know of any battle-scarred female warriors that might want to join up? We're heading to Washington state soon, perhaps their lusty bank tellers would dare to ride with us!

Troublebot the Lonely
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

perhaps a bit of levity is in order for the minions.........

how does vlad the impaler's favorite joke begin?

this bar goes into a guy.......




-jimk the damp & deadly (& don rickles-like)

/berserk

Slash
Burn
smash
crush
drink
laugh
slash
burn
smash
crush
IF CRUSH >= 12 STOP ELSE GOTO 1

/end berserk

REDMOND! We come for you, know fear!

I would be honored to join your filthy horde. I currently go by Scorcex The Slightly Maligned, and quite enjoy pillaging and looting. I consider myself quite skilled at smithing, and as such I can produce large numbers of crudely made but deadly scimitars for the horde's use. Also, if I may be so bold, I suggest Hard8s as the next target of our horde. Grammar and spelling and the like have no place in a horde!

tl;dr but man I'm in

Well said Scorcex!

I was about to feed Hard8s his still-beating supercilious black heart for insulting our Khan. Alas, I was at work and didn't have time. Such is the way of the e-barbarian.
-GH

I see my comments are working already! I think that any person would not mind being pillaged by someone who can use supercilious correctly in a sentance. Also, the grammer is already showing much improvement. We do need to think about the future you know. Whom is going to lead after all the pillaging has finished? There will need to be a government, with many taxes to keep the people downtrodden. Without the correct language and grammer there will be many a loophole. From loophole come uprisings!!!




Ah,screw it bring on da' ho's!!!!

*grunt* I am Sion the Flatulent and I am big pillager. I will Horde with you. *grunt*

I bash skulls with morning star, dont want no sissy scimitar.

give me horse and I will crush many mild-mannered villagers in drunken frenzy. MEAD! I must have more MEAD!

grunt

Fremen the Frenetic here, applying for membership with the Horde, Khan.
I have my longbow, but I could use a good scimitar too, as long as it is big and long. I don't want a scimitar that won't reach. ;)
(I wouldn't mind getting my hands on Mjolnir if possible.)
I will settle for this Mjolnir, though.
http://www.owzat-cricket.co.uk/acatalog/Mjolnir.jpg
I also have a wheelbarrow I can bring along.
http://www.linexpc.com/images/wheelbarrow.jpg
You never can tell when a good 'barrow will come in handy.
Btw, I need a Percheron to ride if at all feasible. I can't have my mount breaking down on me in the heat of battle.
A donkey will do, as well.

If you want, I can cook, too. I usually cook for myself when I go a-pillaging just so I know what I'm eating.
I don't take chances on being poisoned by slaves.
Oh, we will be taking slaves won't we?
I need someone to push my 'barrow.

In closing, Khan, I just want to say I will make a good member of the Horrific Horde of Horridness...er..Troublebot Horde, due to the fact that I haven't properly bathed in a decade.
I only get wet in unexpected rainshowers or when my refridgerator freezer breaks down and I grab the icetray with too much strength.
Which reminds me. I can beat most schoolgirls furiously upon their fine supple buttoc.....uh..I mean, I can beat most of them at the hundred-yard dash, so if you need one caught, I'm your man.

Thank you for your time.

Yours in bad smell,
Fremen the Frenetic.
http://justus.pair.com/GalleryPhotos...oggleFront.jpg

and let's remember guys, it's "pillage," then "burn..."

I can't wait to hear the lamentations of the women.

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/oakgro...ary/2HDAXE.GIF

Count me out. Last time I saw a HORDE Tour, it was being headlined by the likes of Natalie Merchant and Paula Cole, although Blues Traveler was kinda cool.

-Mikey

I hereby move that our Horde slogan be:

We will kill everything, including ourselves!

It is strong, forceful, and to the point. Succinct. I should also like to point out that I will be using my hand and foot claws on anyone who votes against this slogan.

So, how is this horde thing working out for you?

Such a foolish question scansinboy!

Do you not see the mighty Troublebot Horde? Tremble before their collected might! Bow down to their superior warrior cunning and proper english! Foul thyself at the mere wiff of their unmanning odor!

Run at tell all that the Troublebot Horde is coming! Prepare yourselves for the pain and aggravation that your puny lives will become when the Horde gallops into your village. Know that the last thing you see will be our might force taking all that was once yours and burning what will not move!

In short, things are going well. You?

Troublebot the Unruffled
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

how are we doing with the move on redmond, wa?

Uncle Phil the Tunesmith,

If the Horde is well rested and the horses are ready, we'll ride on Redmond a first light tomorrow. Send Threaryn ahead to scout the best places to pilage and tell GH to get a memo out to the men: Don't drink to much tonight, for there is much to do tomorrow!

Troublebot the Mildly Achey
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

ok, guys, you heard the man...threaryn, GH, what he said...i'll be in the studio mixing a battle song and a victory song (ooh, ooh, already have a victory song in mind...)

Valhalla i am coming!!! (so the answer's yes. Btw, heres a good song for it - Led Zeppelin, the immigrant song)


We come from the land of the ice and snow,
from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.

The hammer of the gods
Will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying:
Valhalla, I am coming!

On we sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
from the midnight sun where the hot springs blow.
How soft your fields so green,
Can whisper tales of gore,
Of how we calmed the tides of war.
We are your overlords.

On we sweep with threshing oar,
Our only goal will be the western shore.

So now you’d better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
For peace and trust can win the day
Despite of all your losing.

you go, loki...i may be in need of an apprentice...

I would love to join the Horde, but I am not into the whole 'No Bathing' thing. I will promise to have a daunting yet calming presence, ready for battle at all times with my body and mind my only weapons. And seeing how I will be the only clean member of the Horde, perhaps I could be a negotiator and ambassador for the Horde before/during/after an invasion.

I pledge my service and loyalty to the Horde and the one who leads it. (Until he or I die in battle.)

Pheatius, I do not speak for the Khan, but I can easily see the strength of having an ambassador-type whose stench does not turn the stomachs of those who stand near.

As for the scouting of Redmond, I find that the bank coffers are full, the bank tellers are all shapely and of child-bearing age, and the bank resistances are all dependent upon some form of witchcraft called "micro soft". I have spoken with uncle phil, and he tells me that the two words together mean their defenses are puny and weak, like a mouse.

Victory is already ours!

The Thraeryn,
Whirling Death-Dealer and Chief "Look At Stuff That's Ahead of Everybody Else" Man of The Horde.

alert...watch out for the students of the northwest graduate school of ministry...they may say prayers against us, or do raindances, or whatever they do...be strong, Hundering Thorde...

I am Pim the Pork Squealer, and I will gladly lend my services to pillage, burn, and have sex only in a caring, monogamous matrimonially-bonded relationship for the sole purpose of procreation.

I too have heard of this "micro soft" I have heard they are like "Windows". Easy to smash like glass (watch out for the edges!) One quick throw of a flail and the "Windows" will shatter. We can run roughshod through the "Gates" and then "Bill" them for the damages to our fighting equipment after. Yes after we have taken the women folk and used them to make coffee, meals and babies. Just be sure we do not pick up any "Virus's" as I hear they run rampant in the "Windows". So we may have to bathe after we pillage and burn after all! Besides the womenfolk tend to stick around if we smell clean!

The pillaging is NEVER finished. SLASH!! BURN!! HACK!!

So, the morning shall be red. This tribe of micro soft shall know fear at the rise of the sun.

My axe is sharp and moans for the taste of blood.

I have girded my loins with the skin of a linux and sing the battle song of my people.

Uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, uga chaka, wooooo, ah, wooooo, ah, woooweee!

I shall taste the still beating heart of a programming drone before the sun rises to midday.

Even now the beserker fever flows through my veins wanting only blood and slaughter.

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

The Anger Management class was all full up. I think your cause would fulfill the same purpose though.

If thou shalst haveth me I will be known unto thee as
Krazykemist the Emulsifier.

With the alchemical secrets of many an ancient culture may no structure stand in my way!


(You have punch and cookies too right?)

Before we begin our attack, I'd like to welcome our newest members to the Horde. I'm sure your skills and bloodlust will be very useful in the pilaging ahead.

You, the clean guy over there, I name you Pheatius the Anal Retentive. You shall be our bearer of goodwill to those we leave alive. Stay towards the back of the horde please, I don't want people thinking this horde has gone all soft.

Tinfoil the Unholy, prepare a press release on our upcoming raid.

Now Horde, if you are ready, let's make this a day the citizens of Redmond will never forget.

Charge!!

Redmond shall rue the day that Buttcrust the Berserker came to call.

Ahhhh, the smell of smoke, blood, and secretaries. Worker drones fall like wheat before the sickle as my axe sings a song of death about me.

My axe verily smokes as it tastes the blood of its first redundant middle manager.

Ah, to see my enemies flee before me, life is good. (That secretary in the vinyl mini isn't too bad either).

What's this? Server farm drones attempt to hold the door! Do they not know that their time of fatal error is at hand? Their bodies will but serve as a carpet for our feet and their reams of data just a magnetic memory amidst the debris. The door is like a paper to a razor as my axe bites again and again.

Come to me drones, your death is at hand!

Their eyes will fill with the tears of defeat
and fall like the blood drips from the lips of their dying men.

Do not forget men, first pick of the buxom tellers is mine.

It's good to be the Kahn.

http://www.barbariankeep.com/berserk3.jpg

My apologies Kahn, in the excitement some of the women were despoiled but they were probably not of the caliber you require anyhow.

Not a problem, my faithful Buttcrust. I understand how the battle can sweep a blood red cloud over a warrior's judgement.

Your picture reminds me of a t-shirt I had when I was young. Or, perhaps it was a Molly Hatchet album.

So, are there still pockets of resistence, or had we taken the town? Is anyone wounded? I need an report on our progress!

*tries to scream back a report, but simply roars in bloodlust as he kills dogs, cats, and great metal beasts (all the people being gone)*

Someone want to get Thraeryn some thorazine? He's destroying pilagable stuff.

i come to the Horde as Eweser the Short-Tempered, the death dealing companion of Buttcrust the Berserker. i bring my spear, as i feel it is not proper for a female to carry a scimitar, and the conniving and wily ways of a woman. i will infiltrate enemy camps and capture it's leaders and hold them for the Khan to do with them what he will. I will spread word to their harems of the Horde's mighty and brave warriors.

O Greatly Stench-o-fied One. I have received a request for cease and desist from a group Redmond residents that claim to have been Mac users. They say they made it out alive because our weapons were not compatible with them. They offer their computers, money, houses and yet to be despoiled women folk (and men for those of you of that flavor) to us in exchange for their lives and safe passage out the carnage.

What say thee O Unbathed Leader of the Stinking Horde?

Well, I heard some people talking just the other day
and they said you were gonna put me on a shelf.
But let me tell you I got some news for you and you'll soon find out it's true
and then you'll have to eat your lunch all by yourself.
Cause I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong,
I will sing this victory song, woo, hoo, hoo, woo, hoo, hoo.

The letter that you wrote me made me stop and wonder why
but I guess you felt like you had to set things right.
Just remember this, my girl, when you look up in the sky,
you can see the stars and still not see the light (that's right).
And I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong. I will sing this victory song.

Well, I know it wasn't you who held me down.
Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free.
So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
and we never even know we have the key.
But me, I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong.
I will sing this victory song cause I'm already gone.
Yes, I'm already gone and I'm feeling strong.
I will sing this victory song cause I'm already gone.
Yes, I'm already gone, already gone, all right, nighty-night…

Are they willing to fly the Penguin Flag of the nation of Linux? It SHALL fly over the ruins of the castle of Gates. Their tribe sounds too weak to even pillage, BAH!

What say you Kahn?

To show that I am a great and honorable Kahn, I will agree to the terms the mac users set forth. Remind them to leave quickly, for if we see them on the 'morrow, fate will not be so kind.

As the Kahn says, so it shall be.

Finally! A warrior queen equal to the rage of her berserker mate!

Glad to have you in the Horde, Eweser the Short-Tempered!

Oh great Kahn, Eweser has sworn on my orbs of manhood that she will be avenged for your slight on her warrior status. She is not my mate and has made mention of ripping your head off and spitting down your neck.

She is most terrifying in her wrath and I fear for even your safety.

I trust that you will handle this in a most diplomatic fashion as my orbs of manhood are sacred to me and I would miss them much.

She is truly named for her temper is shorter than the moment between thoughts.

If it all goes bad I will miss you.

For immediate release:

The Horde ™ is pleased to announce the impending downfall of Redmond, home of the Micro softies.

Troublebot the Mildly Unruffled, President and CEO (Chief Executions Officer) of The Horde had the following to say of the latest crusade: “While reveling in the bounty pillaged from our more recent West Virginia takeover, it was quickly decided that we act against one of the most vile of the vile, the Micro soft clan before they can unleash any more horrors on the citizens of Redmond.”

Joel Clien, assistant attorney general has applauded the move saying that The Horde will do in a day what we were unable to do in years.

Micro soft officials first responded by attempting to purchase The Horde. Pheatius the Anal Retentive, while meeting with the officials, declined the offer. Sources inside Micro soft say that the clan is now attempting to create their own horde, but is having trouble licensing some technology from rival clan, SCO.

Troublebot the Painfully Flatulant has also issued a statement granting immunity for small bands of revolutionaries currently stationed in Redmond. The bands fall under the Macintosh and Penguin banners. "Let this be a lesson to those who have not chosen sides. Side with our enemies and you shall be ground beneath our unlaced boots. Side with us and you shall be given 4% of the bounty"*

* only if the battle takes place on the second wednsesday of any given week.

----


The Horde (TM) is a newly formed organization with aims to revolutionalise the looting industry.

Formed in 2003, The Horde began it's whirlwind tour with the succesful takeover of Rodeo Drive. Pundits have hailed the move as impressive and as a mark of The Horde's mastery.

The Horde is available for private parties and state / country takeovers. Please contact Troublebot for more information.

All orbs of manhood are in danger if i don't get restitution.

yoink!

A thousand pardons to Eweser the Short-Tempered! When you said "companion" to Buttcrust, my tiny mind only led me in one direction. You probably can't see through all the dirt, but I've turn many shades of red.

It is my hope that you'll feel no need to take further action against my neck or Buttcrust's orbs of manhood.

I may be mighty, but I'm no fool. My apologies.

I'll let it go this time, but watch yourself in the future. And that goes for all in this great and mighty Horde

I see that the great Kahn is both merciful and diplomatic.

My orbs were sweating there for a while what with being within a moments reach of Eweser the short tempered.

It is unfortunate that I did not recognize the flag of Mac as I trampled it under my heel. Possibly their defiled women will recover soon. Maybe there could be a little more information before the next raid so that I could avoid further embarassment.

It's hard to keep up while being berserk without study beforehand.

The existence of the small tribe of Mac had completly escaped my notice. I thought that they were extinct, wiped out during the great Wintel wars. Pretty scrappy bunch. I think one of them scratched me.

Does this look infected?

*screams and starts charing at Eweser, then calms down a bit, looking around him*

. . . oh. How long has the battle been over? Did I . . . um.
Did I try to sleep with any of the cars?
*cough*

Impressive work my horde. Need to work on some fundementals though.

Buttcrust, next time I make a treaty with someone, could you at least try not to kill them all? Get yourself to the aid tent, that scratch looks like it needs some iodine.

And I won't mention any names, but someone seems to have had a intimate moment with that Ford Taurus over there... let's try and be a little less lusty in the future, shall we?

Tinfoil the Unholy and Pheatius the Anal Retentive, excellent work. You may both have your pick of the lusty bank tellers... once I'm through. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

What? I need some help with my IRA.

I'll be in my tent. Start figuring out where this horde should go next.

Hey, she said she was 20! You should've seen the headlight bra she was wearing! Look at her spoiler! She was askin' for it!

I think we should o'ertake Mexico next. They have tequila.

Hail, good sirs.

I am willing to join this mighty horde of stench and evil myself and herefore apply for a position of the janitor. Armed with a masterpiece broomstick that i carved myself out of a bigger broomstick, i'm ready to whipe up any competition and/or feeble resistance.
Your welcome into this fine disorganization will not be unnoticed.


Sir Stinkynutz, The Brave

O smelliest of the stench-ridden ones. I went to give response to the Mac tribe, but alas, Thraeryn must have showed up after Buttcrust and killed the women left behind except for one woman left barely breathing underneath the pile of bleeding corpses. She was beautiful, even in her injury, so I cleaned hear up and brought her to camp for your inspection. She is very spirited and a sight to behold, says her name is Jolene.

PS - Buttcrust, I had made arrangement for a glorious Viking funeral had the negotiations for your orbs not gone well.

I think I'm starting to get a bad reputation around this Horde. Just to clear things up:

*waves hand and foot claws around*
I'm not going to be havin' no bad reputation in this Horde.

Now gimme that bottle of tequila. :D

It's another tequila sunrise staring slowly 'cross the sky, said goodbye.
He was just a hired hand working on the dreams he planned to try, the days go by.
Every night when the sun goes down, just another lonely boy in town,
and she's out running 'round.

She wasn't just another woman and I couldn't keep from coming on, it's been so long.
Oh, and it's a hollow feeling when it comes down to dealing friends, it never ends.

Take another shot of courage, wonder why the right words never come, you just get numb.
It's another tequila sunrise, this old world still looks the same, another frame.

wherever you my go,whatever you shall steal,whomever you shall slay.......

i will be there to kick and yell and spit on the dying enemy.

i can be the psycho freak that is needed in this horde.......


*BURN IN THE ETERNAL DEPTHS OF HELL.......MOTHERFUCKERS.....*

Hail, I am Condom, the Trojan, and I have come to rape the women and pillage the cattle. Do not let me drink, for then I rape the cattle and pillage the women.

Mighty Horde,

I'll be gone for a few days. Sometimes a Kahn must be alone.

While I am gone, break camp and prepare to move on to the Mexican border. I have an urge for burritos.

Play nice while I'm gone.

Troublebot the Busy
Kahn,
Troublebot Horde

I will gladly join your Horde, for I have much spare time and am in need of excercise. I can supply my own weaponry, and lend someone else if they get short, um....handed. All I need is a horse, a name, and a horse with no name. On that note, I vote we pillage wherever there are stupid country singers. Just a thought.

And you know that I'm tough AND smelly for I dwell in that most horrible of places....NEW JERSEY!!! (and in Trenton, nonetheless.)

I agree...Mexico. Not only tequilla and burritos...But we all know that latin wenches live in squallor there. They will be oh so happy to see us savagly pillage and burn their semi evil husbands...

Yes to mexico!

Oh and Eweser, You can suck my big floppy orbs:crazy:

Do we have any antiseptic to use when we get sliced?
I'm not wasting good alcohol on wounds!
If I have to, I'll cauterize 'em, but we really should have a trained warrior-healer traveling with us.
What say you to that, Horde?

Antiseptic. Hell, I ain't got time to bleed! Tequilla will work from the inside out.

Next thing we know you will be wanting a band-aid.