Futurama: Delicious Quotables

[Jetée]

Contribute, cotton to, and converse amongst yourself, in this: The World of Tomorrow!



Choose to be as concise or as complete as you want to be, but do choose to add a quote that is
both HI-larious, as well as accurate. Let us begin with introductions:

"I am the man with no name: Zapp Brannigan, at your service."

-- (Zapp Brannigan, #4.6: Where the Buggalo Roam)

previously: Simpsons' Quotes

[levite]

I know I should really post a main-cast only quote, and not a guest star, but this is my all time favorite:

"I'm living in a gefilte fish jar."

-Leonard Nimoy's head, Where No Fan Has Gone Before, 4.11

[Jetée]

Farnsworth: "Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?"
Glurmo: "Why those are the Grunka Lunkas. They work here in the Slurm factory."
Farnsworth: "Tell them I hate them!"

-- (excerpt dialogue from the first season finale {1ACV13} - "Fry & the Slurm Factory")

* -
- - -

Honestly, this episode is on my short-list of the top 5 (or 10, if you like it like that) Futurama episodes ever produced.
It's great through-and-through (and I could perhaps dedicate an entire page's worth of fine humorous recapitaluations, but like me, I'm sure you admire variety, so I'll spread 'em out).

[Punk.of.Ages]

"It's a [rolls dice] pleasure to meet you."
-Gary Gygax, Season 2 Episode 16

[fresnelly]

"Death by Snoo-Snoo!" and then the guys alternating between "Whoo hoo!" and shuddering is classic.

My favourite episode by far.

[raging moderate]

CHEESE IT!! -Bender whenever they need to make a speedy getaway

[Jetée]

Fry: Okay, I gotta break down that gate, beat up those three guards, steal that chopper, and rescue Bender.
[Leela, as Lee Lemon, busts open the gate and knocks out the guards]
Fry: Hey, I did it! Wait, that's not me.

-- (excerpt aside from Broacast season #3.2: War Is the H-Word)

- - -

It's a whole thing trying to remember things as they once happened, but getting it wrong because of the way they were (and reality does seem to get in the way).
To wrap your head around.

[Amaras]

"Bite my shiny metal ass."
-Bender, in any given episode

[FoolThemAll]

Leela: Hey, you know what would be a hoot?
Professor Farnsworth: NO, why would I know THAT?

Kif: Sir, it's an emergency!
Zapp: Call me when it's a catastrophe.

Neutral Leader: If I don't make it, tell my wife 'hello'.

[leon2345]

Zapp Brannigan has most of my favorites.

"If we hit that bull's eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."

"Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love: hard and fast"

[Jetée]

Hermes: Requisition me a beat.

Singing Montage   click to show 

[Number 1.0 turns on some music and Hermes slides down a tube into the 'incoming mail' pile.]

(singing) When I was born there was a hurricane in Kingston Town

With a foot and a half of water.

Everyone was alright but I cried all night

It blew my alphabet blocks out of order.

And they said "This boy's born to be a bureaucrat,

Born to be all obsessive and snotty."

I made my friends and relations file long applications

To get into my 10th birthday party.


[He scoops up some red tubes, slides down a tube and drops them
into some filing cabinets. LaBarbara pop up from one of them.]



LABARBARA (SINGING)
But something changed when my man turn
pro.


HERMES (SINGING)
I was sortin' but I wasn't smilin'.



[He throws a tube to LaBarbara and she catches it.]


LABARBARA (SINGING)
He forgot that it's not about badges
and ranks.


HERMES (SINGING)
It's supposed to be about the filing!
People!


[He jumps onto Number 1.0's desk and starts juggling the tubes.]



We didn't choose to be bureaucrats,

No that's what almighty Jah made us!

We treat people like swine,

And make 'em stand in line,

Even if nobody paid us!


[He dives off the desk into the pile of red tubes.]


They say the world looks down on the bureaucrats,

They say we're anal, compulsive and weird.

But when push comes to shove,

You gotta do what you love,

Even if it's not a good idea! [He slides down the pile and throws
the red tubes around the crew like a knife thrower.] Zoidberg!



ZOIDBERG (SINGING)
They said I probably shouldn't be a
surgeon.


FARNSWORTH (SINGING)
They poo-pooed my electric frankfurter.



LEELA (SINGING)
They said I probably shouldn't fly with
just one eye.


[A tube hits her in the eye.]

BENDER (monotone)
Please insert girder.

[Hermes inserts a message tube and Bender bends it sending the
red tubes flying off in a different direction. Hermes rips off
his shirt revealing a grooby Jamaican shirt underneath.]


HERMES (SINGING)
Everybody sing Jamaica!


[He limbos under the flying tubes.]


EVERYBODY (SINGING)
Jamaica!


HERMES
Just the bureaucrats, Jamaica!


BUREACRATS (SINGING)
Jamaica!


HERMES (SINGING)
The grade 19s!


[Morgan looks around and reluctantly joins in.]


MORGAN
Jamaica.


[Hermes starts a conga line with the bureaucrats.]


HERMES (SINGING)
Sing me home!

When push comes to shove,

You gotta do what you love,

Even if it's not a good idea!


[He picks up a red tube, takes Bender's disk out of it and throws
it into Bender's head. Bender's personality reactivates.]


BENDER
I'm Bender baby, please insert liquor!



[The crew cheer Hermes.]


FRY
Yeah!

ZOIDBERG
Congratulations!

- - - - -

+ bonus

Zoidberg: Now It's Time For My Song!

[m0rpheus]

My favorite of the new season so far.

Spoiler: Professor: Behold, a time traveling machine.
Bender: Time? I can't go back there!
Professor: Ah, but this machine only goes forward in time. That way you can't accidentally change history or do something disgusting like sleep with your own grandmother.
Fry: I wouldn't want to do that again.

From Season 6, Ep. 7: The Late Phillip J Fry

Edit: Threw on spoiler tags since it's from the current season.

[Jetée]

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Good news, everyone.
Bender: Uh-oh. I don't like the sound of that.
Professor: You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisol.
Bender: Here it comes.
Professor: A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.
Bender: Thank you, and good night.
Leela: Professor, are we even allowed in the Forbidden Zone?
Professor: Why of course. It's just a name, like the Death Zone, or the Zone of No Return. All the zones have names like that in the Galaxy of Terror.
Leela: Uh, Professor...
Professor: Off you go! Pleasant trip!

-- (select dialogue from Production season #1.7 : "My Three Suns")

[Jetée]

Doctor John A. Zoidberg: (seductively) I'm so into you.
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth: (aghast) Oh my!

-- (select scene from Broadcast season #2.16 : "The Deep South")

[Jetée]

Farnsworth: Dear Lord! They're back!
Amy: We're doomed.
Hermes: Doooooomed!
Bender: [Breathes in.] Doooooooooooooooooooo...


-- (select dialogue from Production season #2.15: The Problem with Popplers)

[Jetée]

{Bender walks into the apartment, where he discovers Fry and Morgan Proctor in bed together}

Bender: Hey, Fry, I made you a candle with-- What the--? Oh, now I see!
Now I get it. Now the pieces are falling into place: The office, the promotion,
that dwarf in my book club who steals my opinions. It's all coming together now!

Bender: I must say, this opens my eyes. Another case closed, my dear Watson.

Fry: Morgan, come back! He's stuck in a loop.

Bender: ... For I was blind but now I see!

Bender: The cat's out of the bag now!

Morgan: Mr. Bender, about last night: That was just a ... a misunderstanding.

Bender: Oh, you didn't understand? Well let me explain. You ...... were having sex with you.

-- (select dialogue from Broadcast season #2.14: How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back)

[Jetée]

{The scene wherin everyone is Fighting to the Death, especially Leela}

Melllvar's Mother: Melllvar! Dinner time!
Melllvar: Aw, but Mom, I'm playing with my collectibles!
Melllvar's Mother: Now!
(Melllvar groans and disappears)
Fry: All this time we thought he was a powerful super-being, yet he was just a child.
Melllvar's Mother: He's not a child, he's 34!

-- (select dialogue from Broadcast season #4.12 {season finale}: Where No Fan Has Gone Before)