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05-05-2003, 09:01 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: Up yonder
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Giggles for the ladies of the lounge
A 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her,"Boy is she gonna get in big trouble!" The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye." Mrs. Parks said, "Very good Billy," then turned to Mary and continued,"As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: (1) you have a dirty mind, (2) you didn't read your homework, and (3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed
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You've been a naughty boy....go to my room! |
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05-05-2003, 12:54 PM
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#5 (permalink) |
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Cosmically Curious
Location: Chicago, IL
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lol, thanks for the laugh Minx
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"The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides" -Carl Sagan Last edited by onodrim; 09-17-2003 at 06:43 PM.. |
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05-05-2003, 01:29 PM
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#7 (permalink) |
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Upright
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HOLY SHIT!!! 10 times it's size. Yeah my beau's starts a little over 2.5 inches and 10x would be what... over 2 feet! That's like those anime Penises. I'm glad his only triples in size to about 8 inches. Geeze 2 feet.... I think it should read more to the effect that when she grows up she'll be into HORSES! Either that or elephantitus.
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05-05-2003, 04:08 PM
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#9 (permalink) |
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Crazy
Location: O-H-I-O
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That's funny. I'll have to remeber that one to tell my Grandpa next time I see him. He always tries to make the family uncomfortable by telling dirty jokes...now I have some ammo to fight back.
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It's best not to be too moral...you cheat yourself out of too much life. - Maude, Harold and Maude. |
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09-17-2003, 04:20 PM
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#12 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: Somewhere between the Havens and the Earth
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lol thank you so much for making my day. me and Eoywn_Vala had a good laugh, thanx again
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from the Havens I have fallen. . . to the earth as a mangled form. . . writhing in pain, my wings torn and bloodied. . . I have one purpose, only one goal. . . to find you and love you, for I am your. . . fallen angel |
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09-19-2003, 11:34 AM
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#17 (permalink) |
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Crazy
Location: Long Island, NY
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hahaha that was a good one!!
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"Can't help it if I space in a daze, my eyes tune out the other way... I may switch off and go in a daydream... in this head my thoughts are deep, Sometimes I can't even speak, would someone be and not pretend, I'm off again in my world" |
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10-17-2003, 06:24 PM
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#20 (permalink) |
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Upright
Location: triangle area, nc
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Newly weds returned home after a week's honeymoon. As the husband was getting ready for work, the wife asked "what would you like for breakfast?". He said "You know...what we did on our honeymoon". So they ran upstairs to the bedroom and had a grand roll in the bed.
The husband comes home for lunch, the wife asked "What would you like for lunch?". The husband smiled and said "Same as what I had for breakfast". Up they went to the bedroom and another hay roll in the bed. As the husband came home for dinner, he saw the wife sliding down the banister. He asked "Honey, what are you doing?" She replied "I'm warming up dinner"
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"Without meditation, where is peace? Without peace, where is happiness?" -- the Bhagavad Gita |
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10-17-2003, 06:28 PM
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#21 (permalink) |
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Upright
Location: triangle area, nc
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TOP TEN REJECTION LINES GIVEN BY WOMEN (to other women, but just switch it if yer into the men folk)(and what they actually mean):
10. I think of you as a sister. (You remind me of that inbred violin geek in my music class.) 9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (I don't want to do my MOM.) 8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You ugly dork.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other girls I'm seeing.) 6. I've got a girlfriend. (I prefer my cat and 1/2 gallon Ben & Jerry's ice cream.) 5. I don't date women where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you're in the same *solar system*, much less the same building.) 4. It's not you, it's me. (It's you.) 3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.) 2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off the likes of you or I'd rather drink turpentine and piss on a brush fire or when bats fly out of my butt.) 1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other women I meet and have sex with.)
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"Without meditation, where is peace? Without peace, where is happiness?" -- the Bhagavad Gita |
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10-28-2003, 02:23 PM
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#25 (permalink) |
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Psycho
Location: The capital of the free world??
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oh god I feel bad for the little dissapointed girl
 . Altough when I was that young I probably wouldn't have though fo THAT body part.
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Go Kool Aid. OH YEAAHH http://www.retrocrush.com/archive2003/koolaid/ |
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