02-17-2005, 07:50 AM | #41 (permalink) |
Frontal Lobe
Location: California
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It's interesting, I think we are interpreting these points a little differently. It's turning into an interesting exercise.
From my perspective, Charlatan, if you don't take care of your self first then your family would lose the benefit of your support. Maybe I just look at things in those life and death terms because I've lost so many family members. For example, if my father had taken better care of his self by not drinking and driving, he might not have died in that car crash when I was 13 and might still be around today. That said, I'm sure my list might look different if I had ever had children. |
02-17-2005, 07:54 AM | #42 (permalink) | |
Frontal Lobe
Location: California
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I am saying putting self first in terms of basics, yes. Like if I don't make sure I have the means to feed myself I will die. If I don't make sure I can house myself I will be homeless. So if my friend or my sister or anyone else wants a loan and that's my rent money, sorry but self comes first. And I do have to make those choices all the time, because my sister is constantly after my rent money, or asking me for favors that would require me to leave work early (thus potentially losing my job) or would otherwise seriously compromise my quality of life. It's up to me to say no when I need to. Last edited by Squishor; 02-17-2005 at 07:58 AM.. |
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02-17-2005, 08:01 AM | #43 (permalink) | ||
Junkie
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About your rent money scenario, I would give one of my sisters a loan but only if their need were more important than my paying rent. I know that none of my family or friends would ask me to do something like that unless it were very important, so if they did ask and I felt the need was dire enough, then I would give them the money. I know they would do the same for me if I really needed it. |
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02-17-2005, 08:20 AM | #45 (permalink) | |
Getting it.
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
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Basic self preservation aside, just about everything I do, including taking care of myself, I do for the benefit of my family (again I am drawing a distinction between my wife and kids and my birth family). For example, I stay healthy so my wife continues to find me attractive and so I can be a good role model for my son. Does that make sense?
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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke |
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02-17-2005, 08:28 AM | #46 (permalink) | |
I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
Location: Upper Michigan
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I know a man who loves to take time off for himself - he lost his job because he called in "sick" on too many Mondays. He put self before money and career too many times. I also know a man who works nearly 24/7. His Son has a lot of anger issues and has gotten into violent fights with his father - why? Because the dad always put work/career before family. A BALANCE is what's important.
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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma. |
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02-17-2005, 08:28 AM | #47 (permalink) |
follower of the child's crusade?
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Spirituality - It is either the most or the least important, depending on the state of things
Self - No one else is on my side, so I guess yeah, I do put myself first, I dont have anyone especially close to me, so there's no one else to put first really. Money - Mty debts are about twice by annual net salary Career - So far its not been going that well, but I did get promoted last year Friends - I dont really have that many friends Lover - I dont have a lover Family - It's a touchy subject However, I think you should have included social or political change/issues - from my point of view this means the Revolution and destruction of capitalistic society.
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"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate, for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain without being uncovered." The Gospel of Thomas |
02-17-2005, 09:09 AM | #48 (permalink) | |
Frontal Lobe
Location: California
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For whatever reasons, I'm kind of a lone ranger in my life. I have myself, a boyfriend, a sister, one good friend locally and one good friend who moved out of state. There is nobody else to back me up or catch me if I fall except for those people. The choice of putting myself first has been spelled out to me very clearly. That also goes for my mental health and enjoyment of life. Nobody is going to drag me off to go do something fun, or make me be personally fulfilled and find meaning in my existence, if I don't get my own butt out of the house and do it for myself. When my mother was alive, she spent the last 18 or 19 years of her life disabled, and I was the one who generally was there to help her. Not all the time, of course. I still had to balance that with "self" though. I guess I've had to deal with that issue a lot because of the family I've had. |
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02-17-2005, 09:21 AM | #49 (permalink) | |
Getting it.
Super Moderator
Location: Lion City
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Like I said above, if I had to fill this out in my teens or 20s, I would have put self first as well. Once my kids are out of the house, I fully anticipate that self will be right back up on the top of the list...
__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke |
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02-17-2005, 09:34 AM | #50 (permalink) | |
Lost!!
Location: Kingston, Ontario
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Self Family Lover Friends Money Career Spirituality(doesn't count because I don't beleive in any of that stuff)
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A.K.A. PainTrain |
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02-17-2005, 09:53 AM | #51 (permalink) |
<Insert wise statement here>
Location: Hell if I know
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Lover - she is more important to me than anything else, including myself.
Family - I would not let harm come to my family in order to save myself. Money - I need it to keep the previous listed happy. Career - got to have a job to make make money Self - I have to take care of myself sometime Friends - I don't have any life long friends, but I do have some that I would be willing to help out if they needed it. Spirituality - If I take care of the previous in the correct way, then according to most of the major religions, and quite a few of the less popular ones, I'll be just fine.
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Apathy: The best outlook this side of I don't give a damn. |
02-17-2005, 01:50 PM | #52 (permalink) | |
Psycho
Location: OMFG BRB
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Yes, I would die for most of my family in the right situation, but this kind of example seems more in the vein of "oh yeah I'm WAY more selfless than you," which is an epenis battle I'd rather not be involved in. |
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02-17-2005, 06:02 PM | #53 (permalink) | |
Junkie
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We just have different definitions of Self, that's all. |
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02-18-2005, 04:09 PM | #54 (permalink) |
Upright
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Self
Money Self Friends Family Did I mention self? Lover Spirituality Career To be honest, self and money are the only things on that list that REALLY matter to me. Maybe that'd change if I wasn't in such a cushy position right now and really needed the support of others. |
02-18-2005, 09:19 PM | #55 (permalink) |
Addict
Location: Land of the puny, wimpy states
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What an interesting question and many interesting answers. I think I've been interpreting it differently. At first I saw "self" on the list and thought of it in terms of being selfish, i.e. spoiling yourself (which I don't often do). I saw the other people on the list in terms of their needs, so I needed to readjust my thinking and consider it from the point of view of my basic needs as well. That changed things a bit, but I still think this list can fluctuate quite often in one's life.
Spirituality career (these two are very closely linked) self family lover (it's new, he may move up the list...) money friends (I'm not lucky enough to have super-loyal friends)
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Believe nothing, even if I tell it to you, unless it meets with your own good common sense and experience. - Siddhartha Gautama (The Buddha) |
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