Meridae'n

I hope you give him the appropriate amount of grief...

d*d

Yeah but friendships are generally longer more stable relationships, if your girlfriend leaves you before you die you'll be left alone, spend a healthy amount of time between friends and girlfriend and you'll have people around no matter what.

c172g

I'll take my whipping on this one. I was in a frat house in college. I had a steady girlfriend of about three years. I was whipped. I'd go do stuff with her, rarely with my friends. Yep, I enjoyed hanging out with her, but really enjoyed the sex. Anyway, finally found out that she was cheating on me & ditched her. Spent my last year & a half in college without a girlfriend. Had the best year & a half of my life.

During that year & a half, I watched several of the guys from the house vanish when they got a girlfriend, then come back into circulation when they broke up. I still see freshmen joining our frat (I've been out for 12 year but am on the board) and they spend four years of college doing nothing but commuting to their girlfriends place, wherever that may be, on weekends, or if local, doing nothing with the guys in the frat. After college is over, several of the guys got married. Those that were whipped in college twelve years later that are still married: 1 out of ten.

I will now accept my beatings...

Tying yourself down with a girlfriend when you should be out enjoying the best years of your life is cheating yourself in my opinion. I spent my time on both sides of the fence. I am now married & have two great kids. There's not another girl in the world I desire like my wife & I couldn't be happier. The guys I know who were whipped/tied down in college all say the same thing: how much they missed out on during that time to chase tail. Sorry if that sounds rude/chauvanistic/macho-whatever, but that's what I've found.

There's nothing wrong with a girlfriend, but when things go south (and during your life, most will) who are you going to turn to? Your old pals. Have a girlfriend, but just like everything else, take it in moderation. The best time of my life was being free of anybody telling me where to go, what to do, and when to be there. I drank like a fish (yep, other stuff too) & had a great time doing it. Give yourself the chance, because once you're out of college, join the working world & THEN settle down, those footloose & fancy free days are all over, except on rare occasions.

Strange Famous

I think you do need to keep connected to people outside the relationsip, and spending all your time with one person is claustrophic and unhealthy. But it doesnt make the man "whipped", either party is just as likely to be the one to blame... but men and women do fall into these stereotypes, the mock childishmess, the "Big boys dont cry stuff", women acting like girls and men acting like boys... both sexes seem to gravitate the other towards these stereotypes, and everyone does it to a degree. What you keep that it is outside and what you keep that is different is the main...

But personally, while I dont really act that way, for a long time I did, and I understand what it is like growing up as a male, and feeling like showing any emotion or any excitement or joy is somehow childish, silly, and demeaning.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas