Is that?! OH MY GOD!
 

I'm a little bit stunned right now. I just came across a nude photo of a female coworker. She is a few years younger in the picture, but it is certainly her. I find myself faced with two problems.

1) I have a very strong urge to show this picture to some of my closer friends at work. I know they would get a huge kick out of it. HUGE. (This woman is cute, really cute.) Yet, it seems a little wrong to me. So I ask you, is it? I didn't take the photo, I didn't steal it from her house, I just came across it online.

2) The woman in question is also a friend, although not a close one. She has a pretty laid back attitude and it might be fun to "bust her balls" a little bit about this. Would you personally be really upset if a coworker found a picture of you in the buff?

Now I know I'm on some really shakey moral ground. I know the right thing to do would be to erase the photo and never speak of it again. However, my moral compass doesn't always point me in the right direction (or rather the direction I want to head in). So, I ask you people...what do you think?

I would definately vote toward not telling _anyone_ and acting normal. Odds are, you will make her, and other coworkers uncomfortable. If she wanted everyone to know that she posed nude on the internet, she would put it in a corporate email.

Moral compass aside though, I see no point in having to erase the photo... Just keep it for your own... personal... pleasure. :p

I don't think it was supposed to end up on the internet. It's a photo of her in her living room...all...nekkid. She's divorced and not on the best terms with her ex, so that's probably where it came from.

I know, that's another strike against the sharing it plan. Nuts.

I think you should share the picture with us.

agree, and not show it to your co-workers.

imagine yourself in that situation, what if a co-worker gets a hold of a nude pic of you?? you would not want the rest of the office to see you naked.

OK, I'll skip the moral advice and go right to the practical:

If you work with her, showing the picture around the office and/or using it to raz her could be considered sexual harrassment. You could end up in a heap of trouble buster.

OK, so let's suppose that your moral compas is out of order and you don't care about getting your butt sued...

Do you want to be friends with her after this is all over? If so, I would suggest talking to her and finding out what she thinks.

Consider the following: Is it the kind of professional photo that might have been published somewhere or is it a raw naked photo that might have been put on the internet by an angry ex-husband?

If it's the former, maybe she already knows it's out there and is OK with it. If it's the latter, you don't want to be viewed as no better than that rat-bastard who put it on the net in the first place.

Either way, talk to her and find out how she feels.

So, let's review:

If your moral compass is out the window *and* your employment isn't an issue *and* you don't care if you remain friends, you *still* might want to keep it to yourself for one basic reason: You can admire her naked body without having to share the pleasure with anyone *and* without her knowing about it.

It's kind of a voyeur thing.

So, maybe doing the right thing is more fun after all?:thumbsup:

No, but I could see the humor in the situation if they did. Sure, I'd be red faced and pissed off for a few days, but it'd be a good laugh after that.

Let me up it someplace. It may take a few minutes, so sit tight.

All good points and pretty much what I was thinking. I was just hoping I was wrong and everyone else would set me straight. Nuts.

No upping after all. Sorrry. :(

Even if the picture was professional, AND posted to a website AND she knows about it, you could still be sued for sexual harrassment.

Even someone else in the firm could sue you. Some other female staff member could get offended with you showing naked pics of ANYONE around. And that includes via email.

Very VERY VERY shaky ground mate.

Share it if you want to get sacked. If you like your job, do nothing.


Mr Mephisto

You may consider informing her and no one else at the workplace that the picture is on the Internet and where to find it. Or you could keep your silence about it.

If it were a picture of a woman you loved (wife/sister/mother/daughter over 18), what would you do?

It sounds to me like you know what the right thing to do is, you just need confirmation.

So here you go: No, don't show, don't tell.

hmmmmmmmm
you say she's cute, the pic in question could be a real ice breaker.
"well, ive seen you naked, you want to see me naked"
he he he ;) :cool:

If it were me, I'd show her, then I'd masterbate on the picture in front of her while she stands there stunned on so many levels.

Yup, I'd walk into her office/cubicle and say, "hey, I found your naked pic on the web!" Then I'd shake hands with my man right there in front of her. I think I'd get a friend to take a picture of that (the whole scene) and then I'd post that up on the web. I'd have a nice laugh from that one I think.

/sarcasm

Seriously: I think it would be best to keep your mouth shut ... unless... unless she's getting a promotion over you, then blackmail is a bitch :cool:

No seriously though, if you're concerned for the hot biatch, she'd be better off if you didn't tell anyone.

I smell 'sexual harassment'

bad karma...this will come back to bite you in the ass.

Either ignore it,
or discretely talk to her about it,
letting her know as a gentleman, that there are pics of her out there.
At least you know you tried.

but do NOT let anyone else know about it.
es no bueno.

Don't bring it up at work, but post the link to it here. If it's already on the internet, then it's ok :)

I would say something to her outside of work just to let her know it's out there.

I say show it to her and tell her where you got it from so she can take the apropriate actions.. Be verry carefull so that it won't seem like you're trying to blackmail her or anything..

Whatever you do don't show your co-workers, that is not just sexual harassment it is really bad coworking ethics.. Not good for the harmony of the emplyees in the long run.

Anyway.. that's what I think you should do. Hope your decition will give the best outcome in the long run.

I'd like to join in on the advice above.

Bring up the subject with her in a helpful way. Chances are she doesn't know about it, and might want to take action. Then again... she could also be embarassed and 'freak out'. That, needless to say could turn out wrong.

By all means keep a copy of the photo if it interests you, but be careful about her feelings and make sure no-one gets the photo from you!

Yup, inform the woman. She could freak out ofcourse, but if you got it by accident, I don't really see what she can blame you of.
And it does sound like great ice-breaker :)

This happened to someone my sister worked with. Some secretary and her husband decided to post pics on one of those "Hey look at us in the nude" websites, and somebody at work found it.

He then decided to show other people at work "Hey wanna see pics of the the cute secretary and her husband getting it on?" Well, it then got around the office and she tried to find out who originally spread it to press harrassment charges.

I'm not sure how it all ended, but it can turn into a real ugly mess by spreading it around.

/my $.02

No man, don't say a word about it to her or anyone. As good as it sounds, she'll probably be more embarrassed than anything, and the chance of sexual harassment is pretty good, and I'm sure you don't want to lose your job over it.

She probably doesn't know it is out on the net, and if something were said, will probably hate you for finding it, and be pissed beyond beleif at the ex (if that is who put it on the net).

My brother put some pix up of his ex (not worth looking at) at voyeur web, you couldn't tell it was her, and the pix were kind of funny. I could only guess what would have happened if she found out, for she carries a gun for work!

Not wanting to be picky... but didn't they post it themselves? What did they think? The internet is their private picture storage?
I agree that posting them on the wall without consent is a little tasteless, but she can't blame anyone for seeing them...

No she can't, but the point I was trying to make was that Rival (The originator of this thread) should not show other people at work, it could lead to trouble.

1. Step one: post the picture for us to see....for reference purposes.

2. I agree with the shaky gound thing. You bring this up at ALL at work and it is sexual harrassment. Since many times I see women as reactionary and arbitrary in their responses based on whatever random synapse last fired in their brain - you don't know what she will do.

Leave it alone, or at most you could inform her via a disposable email address

Don't do it, man...nothing good could come out of it, except a few chuckles. She may have done it during a moment of weakness or desperation, and never thaought anyone would recognize her, or like a previous poster said, maybe someone was trying to get even with her. At any rate, she will be upset.

Wouldn't do it. And "busting her balls" could very well be interpreted as sexual harassment. Isn't worth your job, is it?

Man, everyone is against it, but I, as someone you dont know and have no real connection to, will have to advise you to show her, possable through renting the large billboard outside your office. Failing that, i say you use one of those singing birthday group people and get them to tell her at work loudly singing. Air drop phamlets(sp?), phone in and request a song for her on the radio station she listens too and leave the message "i have a naked picture of you" Go to a print shop and spend tons on printing up buttons that you can pass out outside walmart like those charity people, use half at walmart and half at the front door of the office.....um what else....oh! Give it to the homeless dude outside the office and get him to give it to her, he'll take the blame, she'll wonder where the homeless person got it, and you can all have a good laugh!
see! so many good ideas!

I ahve read most of the posts in this thread, I appologize I didn't read them all before this.....and the first thing that came to my mind was...to be even a bit more annonomous and make a fake hotmail acct. and e-mail her about it...if you want to tell her you will share your identity with her..then she can e-mail you back and step up to the plate later...but at least let her know abuot it as privatly as possible. I am sure it might make her feel a bit weird because then she has to guess who saw it...so don't tell her its someone from work...just that if she really wants to know you will share it with her...but you didn't want to make her umcomfy...

who knows..that might not be a good idea either...good luck whatever you do ;)

I see now that someone else already said it...I was just alittle more long winded!!

Definitely do not mention the picture to others...you are just asking for a lot of time in HR if you do.... but posting it on TFP, that would be entirely acceptible !

you are about to eat some sexual harassment pie...

Okay, you've gotten tons of advice here pretty much saying the same thing. Most of it, I'd agree with.

Let's assume however that your moral compass is totally askew and you decide to do the absolute worst thing and show your coworkers. *sigh* The very least you could do for yourself and her is crop her head and neck out.

WAITING FOR THE LINK

Me too!

LINKK!!

uhmm I would say no as well.. because.. I know of some youthful indesigressions (sp?) of my own taht I would rather not have shared... sometimes at the time, it seems like a fun idea, till someone you know finds it, and shares it, and you have to go to a different college :)

Don't show it to or tell her or anybody in your workplace, both of those spell trouble for you. But you should email it to me right away before you loose it.

I don't think it's right to show her picture here without her permission and it's not appropriate to show any of the coworkers either. Confronting her is your choice, but that might lead to embarassment and an uncomfortable working environment.

The private nude pictures I took once were meant for just that. I worry endlessly at times that they may end up on the net. I hope they don't but if they do, I know exactly the person to go after ;)

I'd say your best bet is to heed the advice that has been given and stray away from showing anyone that you work with, simply becuase of the legal problems that you could encounter.

as far as her reaction, my instinct was to say that she really *shouldnt* mind you or anyone else seeing the picture (afterall, if she didnt want people to see it, she shouldnt have posted it anywhere on the net). But if you think about it a little more, so many people use the internet as an alternate lifestyle, if you know what i mean (not in the crazy perverted online pedophilic ways). so, if she's using the internet as a bit of an online outlet, let her do it without the possible embarassment of it becoming part of her regular life.

so, just enjoy what you've found (put that K.Y. down! at least log off TFP first :P), and who knows...maybe some day the two of you will be in a position where it is appropriate to mention that you had found these pictures.

Get ahold of some pics from the office holiday party and photochop her into them, and then show it around the office. I'm sure the whatever judge you end up meeting because of it will have a sense of humor.

(kidding, of course)

We gonna get the link or what??

And ya, not a word to any of your co-workers or anyone even indirectly involved with your job. They don't mess around with sexual harassment and even the smallest scandal may get you fired.

Hey all,

Thanks for the advice. I pretty much knew I'd have to keep it to myself, but when I found it last night I was still in a bit of shock.

No...it wouldn't really be right to help spread the picture to the far corners of the internet, either. Sorry. Besides, you probably don't know her so it would just be another naked chick to you. There are plenty of others out there.

my vote is tell her and only her, because she may not know that maybe her ex-husband put those up.

blackmail could be an option..........


but seriously, i'd just let it be, dont show anyone, let sum other coworker find it show the guys at work and then watch as he gets his ass fired.

She also might think of u as a porno addict looking for her specifically on the web.

But if u need to get it off your chest, best bet if random email as one of us already said

After some thought, like HiThereDear said, it may be an ex that posted them...get a fake e-mail account from hotmail and send an annonymous e-mail to her mentioning the pics.

Keep it for yourself. Don't show it to anyone or she might be very uncomfortable.

I don't know what state you are in, Rival, because your profile is empty. But here in California, even thinking naked thoughts of a coworker can get you sued. :)

Highly recommend not even mentioning you ever saw it.

Anonymously tell her about it with an email from hotmail or yahoo through a proxy. Tell her that you don't want to cause embarassment by revealing who you are, but that you know she is divorced and you want to be sure that her ex isn't trying ot get revenge by spreading around personal pictures.

My vote is with MrSelfDestruct. I think that is the best of both worlds. You are letting her know that its there, but she doesnt know its you and wont get embarassed when she speak to you. If you make a joke of it, and tell your friends at work, it just may back fire and she may try to get revenge on you......

I think you're missing an excellent opportunity here.

Tell her you ran across the picture accidentally, and be very sympathetic. Then inform her of certain legal steps she can take against that asshole of an ex who posted the picture, and offer to help in any way.

She'll be so grateful to you for your concern and discretion that I'm sure you'll be dating in no time. A few weeks after that, you can take your <i>own</i> pictures and post a whole series in the <i>Tilted Exhibition</i> Forum (with her permission - of course).

A win-win scenario for everyone!

I see big red warning lights on this one! This could get you in very hot water and in the end, what would you have accomplished? This is a picture that someone took of her during what she thought would be a very private moment, and she probably didn't mean it for anyone else to see, let alone someone she works with everyday, especially if she regrets taking the pic in the first place. Even telling her that you know about it could embarass her to the point of traumatization. I think that it would be best to just leave this rattlesnake right where it lay.

Print out a copy of the picture and discretely leave in the office photocopier.
Ah, the intrigue!
sk

I've got a friend who makes a living doing in-house tech-support for a select group of wealthy clients. He found a series of pictures on one of his client's computers that their (allegedly very hot) teenage daughter had taken of herself nude. He is a very honest and professional guy and of course he did not mention the pictures, delete them, or post them anywhere.

Given how much pestering we all gave him at the bar the night he found these things, a lesser man may very well have decided "well, it wouldn't hurt to show my buddies", and then some buddy with a lower standard of honesty or no professional obligation might forward it on to one of his friends, who posts it, etc.

Really, who knows where the picture came from or how it got online. I think your best bet is to delete it and forget you ever saw it.

My friends and I throw some truly outrageous parties during the summer months - not to mention a "Mardi Gras" bash which lives in infamy where we're from - and as a result we have accumulated hundreds of photos which depict all sorts of drunken behavior....usually sans tops, bottoms or both.

However, at no point have we EVER thought of posting any of these; we've gone through them, and occasionally will bring them out to the amusement and/or embarrasment of our friends....it just depends on if they're the ones in the photos completely pissed and acting like morons.

We don't share the photos with people who weren't at the party in question, and we certainly don't punish/harrass/blackmail those caught on film. So far, this has paid off in that people who have partied with us continue to do so (including those who've been on the receiving end of the recap teasing we occasionally do). Hey, some even tell their friends to come along.

Do yourself a favor and remember: "Discretion is the better part of valor."

Don't say anything, even discretely, to her. If another coworker ever found the pic and passed it around, geuss who would be in a heap of shit?

If she fuckin took a pic nekkid she was askin for it. Especially if she put it on the net herself. She had to know it would turn up later on it's inevittable. Thats why she shoulda never taken a picture nekkid. Unless someone tells her it was you who showed em the pic it will never get back to you and even if it does it's on the fuckin internet for Christ sakes you could just say someone else linked it to you. You could even say it was someone you don't like he could never prove it false it would be ur word against his don't be a moron dawg. That typa shit happens once in a million years man and something every guy wishes he could find. If she's cute no doubt you and ever other guy there (unless they're fuckin gay) was more than likely undressing her with their eyes now they don't have to.

Asta!!

Erm...

OK

Thanks for that contribution K-Wise...

Mr Mephisto

wow, that took a heck of a lot of integrity. I'm impressed.

Here's an old saying that I'm sure you have heard, but it's always a good one to remember: "If a four year old would be proud to do it, it's probably ok to do." I realize that's probably not the exact wording, and there are many topics that a four year old would not understand, but hopefully you get the point.

"You and me together, we'll find the rat-bastid who posted that photo of you on the net!" and she'll be your next gf.

dude. it is a great thing to find such things sometimes, but sharing it is a bad bad bad idea.

it is just morally wrong to post something personal that someone else did - especial since they don't know that YOU know.

Don't breathe a word of it, but let her know using the disposable email address. You'd want to know if your wife's pic of her in the backyard with her ankles behind her head was on the net, wouldn't you? Well then. It's easy. Stick with what you know: If nothing's said of it, you KNOW you've still got a job and a friend.

You know, even letting her know through use of a 'disposable' email could be a problem. I'm sure that she would try to think of everyone who knows her email address and will suspect each one knows of the pictures. Worse yet, she may begin to think that everyone at work has seen them and begin to feel that she is being treated differently. In the end, she may file suit or just quit and I'm sure that isn't going to be very good for anyone.

I work in a place that develops pictures in one hour and I know of at least one situation where a female customer has accused me of staring at her and treating her differently because I've seen her naked. Thankfully, my coworkers have all backed me up by stating that I'm genuinely a nice fella and treat all customers with a smile and "hello".


I say to keep quiet and delete the picture. You never know when it will show up again!!