Long stabby thingi
 

ok, so i watched this little segment on australian morning TV which i thought was hilarious (which guy wouldnt?)

Today show host Karl Stefanovic loses it on air over his 'long, stabby thing' | The Daily Telegraph


and it got me thinking, what personal pieces of protection do you keep by your bedside in case you find an intruder in your house at 3am?

personally, i dont keep anything, i used to at times dependant on the places i lived, but in the last few years in the UAE i havent kept anything. Its probably the safest place ive lived or visited for that matter.

knives? guns? bats? long stabby thingi's?

"Long stabby thing that makes a mess...." Wow.

For intruders:

https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/_n...2/DSC_0003.JPG

Ain't America grand?

i keep a 3 1/4 push knife on me at all times. sleep, work, play, whatever

Is this a thread about dicks? Mine is tiny and pathetic.

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Nobody allowed to stay in UAE is poor enough to turn to crime.

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Seeing that I'm the unofficial moderator of Tilted Weaponry:

Can we please consolidate this thread with the Tilted Weaponry thread on "What's on your bedside table?" or whatever from last year? This is one of the few occasions where I'll recommend merging a topic. I put a lot of effort rubbing my two braincells together there and this will fit seamlessly.

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ALSO: Kirstang, you won't make it beyond that jumblefuck of cords to clear your apartment. Clean that unintentional tripwire shit up, Sir.

And if you're going to have both a pistol and rifle by your bed, the pistol needs to be in a holster on a sling. You can't stuff a Glock in your undies and run with a rifle, bro.

I have a katana by my bed, and a metal nunchuku that screw into each other to form a baton, under my pillow.
There's no way I could wake up and unsheath the katana from a dead...uh... sound sleep to stop an intruder, and the metal chain on the nunchucks are too loud for a sneak attack.
Mostly I just use the baton to retrieve my fallen pillow from the floor without having to get up.
I need a gun. Then I could hang my shirt on it.

No gun? You're a shitty Texan.

I know. :)
I sold most of them 15 years ago and traded my last one for an RC car and an SNES + games.
I regret that last one, because it was an unusual (to me, at least) .22 pistol. IIRC, it was an H&K 8 or 9 shot revolver.
I really miss it.

I'd like a shotgun now, at least.

I have a sizable collection of mechanical pencils.

Hmmm... I suppose I could throw a book at an intruder.

I would never have a gun at my bedside.

a) because you can't have guns in Singapore
b) because I'd likely kill someone I know than any imaginary intruder.

I have good locks.

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Olympic torch, lol!

I just need to turn on lights, if anyone gets beside my bed. I have a flashlight in case there's powercut. Noone has ever made it that far yet - husband hung a portrait of me in the vestibule, and the picture stares at the comer, when the door is opened, you can't miss looking at it. In fact, we've also found the door wide open several times in the morning, and judging by the mess at the front door - broken flower pots and fallen down bikes - they were in hurry to leave...


http://www.eroperhe.net/keskustelu/i...%3Btype=avatar

You mean H&R?

kirstand...err, no it aint :P

im actually more interested in what looks like a tub of petroleum jelly on the bottom shelf... care to explain?

but 9er's right..thats a trip hazard waiting to happen. Murphy's Law.

charlatan - good looks? or locks?

so with the guys that keep guns by their bedsides..what about kids coming into the room? thats just asking for trouble.

It's a candle from an ex from a long time ago.

And no, it's not a trip hazard. The wires are actually next to a screen. Meaning I never walk through that direction to get in and out of my bed. In the 900 times I have stumbled in and out of bed half awake and in the dark, I have yet to come even close to tripping on those wires. :rolleyes:

http://x91.xanga.com/eae82b177806820...m157851553.jpg

And I have yet to have a kid come in to my room, much less my apartment.

That's not the goddamn point! The point is that you didn't S-roll those wires and properly secure them with the prescribed retention bands, Sir!

RIGGER!

/green ramp

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Dude, I'm totally just messin' with you. You missed the proper radio dialogue rant a few months back? Man, I worked so hard on that one.

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How big is your bed? Jesus. And to think I spent college sleeping on a twin so short my feet used to hang off. Wow. You livin' like a tru playa.

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As far as the thread:

The old answer used to be cellphone, flashlight and shotgun. The new answer is cellphone, flashlight and M4 rifle. Less penetration with 5.56mm.

Order of Operations: Dial the God Squad (if obvious), put some light on the situation (always), shoot if absolutely necessary (.01%).

You're probably correct. It was over fifteen years ago, and I don't know much about guns.
Have you ever seen an 8 or 9-shot one?

I have a dull katana short sword that probably will do nothing deadly, but I do have a wooden axe I bought ten years ago from a trip to the renaissance festival. I am sure that would do more damage than the sword, especially a hit in the back of the head.

For me, it's a fishing knife in the top drawer of my nightstand.

Mine isn't quite this pretty, but the same basic design.

http://knifeoutlet.net/aom/huntingknife.jpg

If someone is ballsy enough to come in while my 75 pound Lab cross is bellowing and lunging at the door, I have an antique lead weighted English constable billy club to tolchock the bugger with. If said bugger is carrying . . . I guess I'm going to die with my pants off, 'cause that's how this old fellow goes to bed these days.

If I recall correctly, our resident barbarian Walt has posted pictures of his long stabby thing. Really, you can't get any more long or stabby than a spear.

My house is the smallest and least well maintained on the street. Anyone who would break in here is an idiot. That said, I do have a handful of shotgun shells on a shelf by my bed that I haven't tossed in the loose ammo box and I think the shotgun that can fire them is under the bed, but I'm not 100% sure on that.
Nobody who stays there willingly. The people in debtors' prison and the slaves, on the other hand ...

Knitting needles, so yes, long stabby thingies.

My avatar is a light sleeper.

Glock 19.
Loaded.


I'm good.

I once had to ask the upstairs neighbours to quieten down a little - does that count?

(I used my best "serious" voice)

/English
//Middle Class

Is that the 'knock knock' that comes from the long stabby thingy like broom?

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2064/...0cde4609fd.jpg

I have a mace...

Like the medieval metal "I need to wipe your brain off my walls now" kind.

Pens and books?
The attack rabbit will get them first!



(Yeah, I'd be a victim)

This is a non-issue for responsible gun owners. I keep a loaded .45 and a loaded .380 in the closet which is very close to the bed.

I have 3 kids ranging from 5 to 9, all 3 of them have been taught gun safety and that guns are not toys. They know to leave the guns alone. Having guns in the house just means you teach your kids about them when they are young so they are not a big mystery and something they want to play with when you are not looking. Problem solved.

As far as actually on the nightstand....I have the latest Wheel of Time book I could hurl across the room at someone.

I hope you're not joking hardwareguy, Wheel of Time could do some serious damage.
Oh, and that clip in the OP... hilarious!

I have a gun, a knife, a few unique weapons of my own device, and my body.

---------- Post added at 11:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:39 AM ----------

You know those old, cheap brittle pens used to be really deadly. You could stab someone in the neck or wherever and they'd shatter into tons of tinny pieces causing lots of secondary damage and making it very difficult for the doctors to get all the pieces out.

8 hours of work stress unleashed in a fit of rage on the poor sap who wakes me up......

Also an old switchblade in the nightstand and a baseball bat in the closet just in case I've been on vacation and I'm all relaxed.

I just checked and I do, in fact, have the shotgun that can fire those shells under my bed.
Hey, you're back from the dead!

Would i be able to breathe life back into this thread with a vuvuzela picture?

I want a vuvuzela by my bedside. It would definitely scare off an intruder.

I totally forgot that this fellow is by my bed every night. And as you can see, he is quite the forbidding character.

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5258/...c72726c537.jpg

Dan-ger-ous!

You and anyone else who are friends with me on Facebook are welcome to view the video of me drinking a bottle of champagne through a Vuvuzela. Everyopne else can get to know me better and send a friend request.

MM, you could always throw that lamp if the German Shepherd decides to lick & cuddle rather than attack.

actually, he makes a pretty good show of being vicious whenever a strange male comes in the house...or even to the door. He's pretty protective of the homefront. I have no idea if he'd actually attack someone, though.

Same,

Molly is 130#, invisible in the dark, and has a aggressive baritone bark that that says "The neighbor's house is an easier target". Of course, once you get in, this is the Molly that you are likely to see.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...Molly041-1.jpg

She's certainly willing to protect me from the local bear. I've had to dive on her. No idea how she'd see an intruder.

BTW by "body" I meant my hairy manly sexuality that is irresistible to both sexes.

I don't mind the female burglars so much, secretly I usually like it. But since most are male...maybe I could get over men raping me...if it weren't for my wife participating.

Looking at this photo at the first time, I was wondering how did you hide that alpaca in the snow so deep only it's head is visible.

I love that photo, Stan. Simba rolls around like that, too.

I thought it was a dead beaver at first.

Hahahaha! It's true! That's an interesting and unintentional optical illusion.

hmmm... at the moment...

Ruger blackhawk .30
Ruger single six .22
Smith wesson 36
Draco AK pistol
Cobray m-11
Masterpiece arms defender
1895 Nagant revolver
Polish tokarev tt-33
maverick 88 pump action 12 gauge shotgun
cold steel wakizashi trainer
oak baton
buck nighthawk
cold steel kobun
small bearded axe
short sword I made a few years ago
think that's it
but it excludes the wife's side of the bed

and our bedroom currently doubles as the stockroom for our Knife and sword business....

cute puppy!

Before anyone calls you paranoid, I might be thinking of someone else, but haven't you been attacked at home after your wife testified against the KKK or something like that?

We have not yet been attacked, my wife was stalked, and got death threats for testifying against the neo nazi's that killed her mom.... we haven't got the gun safe into place yet in the new house, or we would actually have far fewer lying around.... most of the historical pieces and the spare mac-10 will find a home there at that point.....

fire,
I have a katar and access to alot of material composition instruments/machines. do you know how i would put wootz into my katar? i know that heating a metal up and letting it cool slowly will make it more malleable (as opposed to quenching) and after that i want to mess around with adding nanotubes into the matrix, but i assume you know ALOT more than i do about that kind of stuff. i'm not going to start carrying around my katar, mainly because its too big to put it in my boot or belt, but i'd like to make it as fine a specimen as possible.

Mossberg pump 12 gauge (currently a ridiculous drum fed specimen) trigger locked and under the bed, pistols in a pistol safe in the closet, the key to which is inserted before I go to sleep. It's on my car keys, so it leaves when I do (the wife isn't yet interested in having access) Oh, and a couple miscellaneous daggers for no particular utility or reason.

Eventhorizon- when you get into anything beyond old fashioned metalwork, in iron, copper, steel, or brass, I am pretty lost, and as to nanotubes, I am lost and confused even- not sure even what you are trying for there....

The deputy who investigated the attempted burglary down the street said that the best alarm is a dog. Got a pretty good one.

professional thieves do not fear a dog- luckily the vast majority are amateurs, and fear dogs in a deep and notable way....
Dogs are sort of like the sound of a shotgun being racked- it will definitely have an effect,
but counting on it to do all the work will get you killed- still, a dog is better than no dog, for certain....

i was talking about making damascus the way indian blacksmiths used to, but i did some research and it turns out its really interesting stuff in terms of how certain atomic structures will give different results from the same metal depending on how they are treated. do you know anything about making blades from damascus?

p.s. sorry for the thread hijack

I have a set of golf clubs and my cricket bat at the foot of the bed (with my badminton racquets etc), but if someone broke in you cant just smash them with a five iron or you'd be up on assault charges at best... self defence has to be reasonable and proportional (in the UK at least)

I know a bit about pattern welded steel, dont myself do it at all these days, but am conversant with the methods- adding it to an extant piece basically means completely redoing it- you might use the steel in it as a basis to add to other types of steel in the layer stack, but it would mean building a bar of steel in that fashion and then remaking the weapon from the ground up... so quite an undertaking you are looking at there- doable, if you have the time and dedication, and the proper tools help too...

Whichever Glock was carried that day goes on the nightstand.

I love it. :)

No kids. When I have kids they'll be trained. They'll also know their way around the stove, electrical outlets, all the knives in the kitchen, and how to not get run over crossing the street.

Anyway, water causes more accidental death to children in the home in the US than guns do.

Strange that a country with so many castles doesn't embrace the castle doctrine.

I'm not allowed to post attachments so fuck it.

My fisticuffs. Weapons are for pussies

BlahBlah is back. Righteous.

Punches are for pussies! Its all in the mega pelvic destructive action.

Hee hee hee. Orson is my 98 pound German Shepherd service dog. Since he love learning new things, we have many things that are tied to subtle little twitches of a finger or movements of my hand.

He can growl on command at three different levels. The one with the twitch of the two smallest fingers of my hand will result in a very deep growl that will trigger the USGS earthquake monitors. Another cute trick is to bare his teeth when he growls.

I carry pepper spray primarily because I often set up camp in a National Forest, far from the paved roads, and pepper spray works for bears and mountain lions. When walking through the forest, as we often do, the canister is clipped to the strap on my pack.

I don't want a gun. I couldn't have one anyhow, since I wander back and forth between the US and Canada. Jeepers, at the border crossings into Quebec, they go on red alert for a Swiss army knife...

Jeepers huh? I haven't heard that term used since I was 14. It's like "Swell." Very endearing.

Yeah, +1 for the Let it to Beaver talk. That's gnarly.

Golly gee willakers, y'allins don't ever say "jeepers"? :)

Okay, so I'm new here and trying to be on my best behavior and not say "bad words", although I can do that in quite a few languages.

I'm visiting friends. There is a local discussion about the "open carry" law. I was having coffee with some friends at a local Starbucks this morning and could understand their concern. A group of "open carry" folks came in, all wearing their guns. Want to see a Starbucks empty out quickly?

What I noticed was that they couldn't leave them alone. They were constantly touching their beloved guns. Under local law the guns have to be unloaded, but most displayed their ammo clips predominantly on their belts and fidgeted with those too.

I did not feel safer having these folks around - quite the opposite. What is the old saying? to a carpenter everything looks like a nail? (or something like that) To me, it looked like they were all begging for an excuse to use their precious guns, and I was quite sure that such an even would spoil the interesting conversation over coffee.

On the other hand, a week ago I was visiting a friend in the mountains who needed his 12 gauge just to keep his sheep safe from predators.

A few weeks ago, some yahoo from Texas was trying to explain to the border agents in British Columbia how he had a "god given right" to take his guns into Canada. They were not amused. He was quite loud and adamant about his "god given" rights. <sigh> The good news was that, after him, they took a look at my California plates and just waved me on through.
:)

Open carry has prevented quite a few crimes in the past.