Strange Famous

If the chef is screaming at a male member of staff I wouldnt consider it my business, and it would make the guy feel imasculated if someone cut in to defend him

If he spoke in an unacceptable manner to a female member of staff I might have to take issue with it - but I'd try and do it in a way that it didnt make the member of staff feel it was about them - because it might make them feel uncomfortable. But like if my gf was there I could pull the chef up and be like "listen you cunt, how dare you swear in front of my girlfriend in this way" or whatever...

So thats my view. I would consider stepping in if the chef was bullying a woman in an aggressive way....I wouldnt necessary offer him to come oustide, but I'd give him a bit of language to see how he liked being talked to like that certainly. Otherwise I might not like it, but I probably wouldnt do anything. Probably most people wouldnt, which is why bullies mostly get away with being bullies.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Cynthetiq

I always find it interesting how you're willing to defend a woman but not a man.

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Strange Famous

Like I said, I dont think a man would want someone to defend them in any case, it would make them feel imasculated.

There is also clearly a social and actual difference between one man shouting and being aggressive to another man - compared to a potentially violent hooligan behaving in an aggressive, abusive and threatening way to a woman.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

Baraka_Guru

As well, there are many women who don't want a man budding in to solve all their problems, especially when it's based simply on their being a woman.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Strange Famous

Yeah, thats why I said I'd try to make it seem about something else, rather than "defending" the employee....

Like I'd object to his language in the presence of the girl I was dining with for example.

_

But in the situation, if some lout is verbally tearing apart a young female employee, she's clearly deeply upset, etc... what kind of man wouldnt feel in his heart that he wanted to step in? Im aware I'd try to do it in a way that didnt make the girl feel umcomfortable.

Anyway, maybe I am wrong - but the thread asked what any of us would do in this case, I can only answer what I honestly feel I WOULD do.

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

MoonDog

I'm just not really interested in hearing a disciplinary episode between employer and employee - regardless of whether it is a kitchen, WalMart, my attorney's office, etc. If I am doing something recreationally, and that kind of event hits my eyes and/or ears, then my enjoyment of said recreation is diminished.

I may be different from other folks, but I tend to avoid places ruin my enjoyment

World's King

Wow... you people are still talking about this?


Even as a chef... I lost interested.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown