The Rules of Life that You Did Not Learn in School

[ARTelevision]

The Rules of Life

RULE 1
Life is not fair - get used to it.

RULE 2
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel
good about yourself.

RULE 3
You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won't be a vice president with
car phone, until you earn both.

RULE 4
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn't have tenure.

RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping
they
called it Opportunity.

RULE 6
If you mess up,it's not your parents' fault, so don't
whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as
they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about
how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest
from the parasites of your parent's generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.


RULE 8
Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life has not. In some schools they have abolished
failing grades and they'll give you as many times as
you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9
Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

RULE 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people
actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

RULE 11
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for
one.
...............................

Contrary to Internet Lore, this list was not part of a speech by Bill Gates.

It's an excerpt from the book "Dumbing Down our Kids" by educator Charles Sykes.

It is a list of eleven things you did not learn in school.

In the light of the currently highly publicized horrid behavior by teens, I'm thinking there is something to the type of self-centered cluelessness it implicitly critiques.

[sierra2774]

RULE 2
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel
good about yourself.

This is a great thread...I love rule 2.

[reconmike]

Thanks for the list Art, they are all pertinent in this very real and mean world.

I think there are a lot of people who should take heed of them.

[Mad_Gecko]

Rule 3 and Rule 8 still apply

Fortunately I fell under rule 3 and am applying for a Rule 8 position .

CoMoFo has its advantages...

.

[gov135]

Every generation is self-centered and clueless. I believe this is not because of lack of guidance or education. I just believe that everyone needs to make mistakes on their own and learn from them. It's called growing. No matter how right your parents are, you will go out, screw up, and come back and tell them how right they were.

This is why lists like this are nice, but only for grown-ups to reflect on. Kids won't believe it till they seen it.

[Glory's Sun]

I know I've made my fair share of mistakes and will probably make many more.. and you're right ART.. I didn't learn anything until after school..what a waste..

[reconmike]

Originally posted by gov135
Every generation is self-centered and clueless. I believe this is not because of lack of guidance or education. I just believe that everyone needs to make mistakes on their own and learn from them. It's called growing. No matter how right your parents are, you will go out, screw up, and come back and tell them how right they were.

This is why lists like this are nice, but only for grown-ups to reflect on. Kids won't believe it till they seen it.

Sorry to say Gov. but the rules have changed, this generation is now a no-fault one, it is now TV, the movies, video games or bad parents who are the reason kids do the things they do.

I think Art's list is more about how todays society sugar coats and babies today children.
How absurd is a game with no winning or losing?
You are right about the having to learn on your own, but I think this list is alittle different.

[gov135]

Originally posted by reconmike
Sorry to say Gov. but the rules have changed, this generation is now a no-fault one, it is now TV, the movies, video games or bad parents who are the reason kids do the things they do.

O.K. But I'd like to think theres still alot of kids in their generation who might accept the list, not act out, and who are waiting to take advantage of the lazy ones who choose to blame others. You just won't hear about them till they are ready to step forward.

[krwlz]

well i think my parents did a god job of teaching my these rules, but i still think life should be fair...unless of course things are going my way...

[Memalvada]

for a little humour, go here: Things I Wish I Learnt In School

[Minx]

The things I've learned is that a) life isn't fair always so take the good and the bad together & suck it up baby....b) it's easier to be happy than sad - you just have to have the right frame of mind and outlook....c) the things that really matter are basic - friends, family, loved ones, happiness, health.

[limited]

That list is plain mean. I understand that one day I'll be saying how true it is, but for now I have never seen a more cynical approach to reality. I'm sure you can find a better way to look at life than through that distorted looking glass

[Cynthetiq]

Originally posted by limited
That list is plain mean. I understand that one day I'll be saying how true it is, but for now I have never seen a more cynical approach to reality. I'm sure you can find a better way to look at life than through that distorted looking glass

Okay... then how about something less cynical...if you don't know who Larry Elder is... check out his website at www.larryelder.com

Personal Pledge 32
by Larry Elder

1. There is no excuse for lack of effort.
2. Although I may be unhappy with my circumstances, and although racism and sexism and other "isms" exist, I know that things are better now than ever, and the future is even brighter.
3. While I may be unhappy with my circumstances, I have the power to change and improve my life. I refuse to be a victim.
4. Others may have been blessed with more money, better connections, a better home environment, and even better looks, but I can succeed through hard work, perseverance, and education.
5. I may be a product of a single- or no-parent household, but I will not hold anyone responsible for my present, or allow anyone to interfere with my future. Others succeed under conditions far worse than mine.
6. Some schools and teachers are better than others, but my level of effort, dedication, curiosity, and willingness to grow determine what I learn.
7. Ambition is the key to growth.
8. I will set apart some time each day to think about where I want to go, and how I intend to get there. A goal without a plan is just a wish.
9. "Luck" is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
10. If suitable role models are not nearby, I will seek them out.
11. A role model is someone who, through hard work and a positive outlook, has achieved.
12. A role model may be a parent, relative, friend, church member, judge, doctor, attorney, businessperson, or someone I’ve read about in the newspaper or seen on the local news.
13. I will contact role models and seek their advice, guidance, and counsel. People remember when they were my age and are eager to help.
14. I will seek out recommended magazines, articles, books, biographies, videos, and motivational and how-to books, and use them for education and motivation.
15. The light is always green. You cannot go full speed with one foot on the brake.
16. I am always "in school," and I will not waste my summer by failing to read about and speak to people who can inspire me.
17. I will avoid friendship with people who do not share my goals and commitments. Nonsupportive relationships waste time and energy.
18. I will not seek immediate results, as I understand life is a journey and not a destination.
19. I will read a newspaper each day.
20. I will entertain myself in ways that challenge and expand my mind. As someone said, a mind once expanded never returns to its original size.
21. I will pay attention to my diet and overall fitness, as they are the keys to a healthy and productive body and an enthusiastic mind.
22. Drugs are stupid. People who believe in drugs don’t believe in themselves.
23. I understand that jobs of the future require more preparation and training than ever, and I am determined to obtain the necessary background.
24. A well-rounded, competent student studies math and science.
25. People are not born "deficient in mathematical ability." Through hard work and dedication, the subject can be mastered.
26. It is essential that I learn to speak and write standard English. This is not "acting white," but acting smart.
27. A strong vocabulary is the key to communication, and I will read books on vocabulary enrichment.
28. I expect sometimes to be teased, even ridiculed. This will not stop me; it will only make me stronger and more determined.
29. I control my body and will not create a child until I am spiritually, psychologically, educationally, and financially capable of assuming this awesome responsibility.
30. Life is difficult. I expect setbacks and will learn from them. Struggle creates strength.
31. Every day is precious, and one without growth is squandered.
32. There is only one me, and I’m it!

Laurence A. Elder December, 1994

or even...the book by Cherie Carter-Scott's If Life is a Game, These are the Rules.

Rules for Being Human


1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it but it will be yours for the entire period this time around.

2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant or stupid.

3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial and error...experimentation. The failed experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately works.

4. A lesson is repeated until learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can then go on to the next lesson.

5. Learning lessons does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6. There is no better than here. When your there has become a here, you will simply attain another there that will, again, look better than here.

7. Others are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. The answers are inside you. The answers to life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is Look, Listen and Trust.

10. You will forget all this. BUT you can take action now on mastering the first nine, thus making them a way of life.

-Cherie Carter-Scott

[bullgoose]

As far as I'm concerned, the one basic rule is "Be prepared to accept the consequences of your own actions."

[limited]

Cynthetiq-
I like those rules better, they make alot more sense to me. Larry Elder seems like an interesting guy, I'll have to try and find a webcast. Thanks for the rules.

[vermin]

Unfortunately, another word for cynical is realistic; that first list paints a rosy picture compared to the realities of human society.

[World's King]

"If you hit a gril because you like her and you're 7 you can get away with it...


At 37 you go to jail."

[rogue49]

How about this one from Mother Teresa. (yes loki, I had this before, but thank you anyway.)

People
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind,
People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, People will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

And these are my own

There is no meaning but what you give yourself

There are no guarantees and no excuses (don’t expect; hope)

Be prepared and act efficiently

Understand the consequences of your own actions and words

Be responsible for your actions and words

You are responsible for your own happiness

Consider the others’ feelings and opinions

We are all one and individual

Have faith in yourself

Live life to its fullest

Thank you for slapping us with some reality,
it's needed sometimes.

[Daval]

grin, good list Art. THanks

[cdwonderful]

rule 2 rules

[radonman]

I'd have to disagree with rule 8, partially. I went to a charter school 7-12, and part of the way the school ran was the opportunity to revise work. Through revised work, you're able to hone your skills, reduce mistakes/inaccuracies, and thus produce better work. Many things about school have no direct application to the real world, but that doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile.

[Cynthetiq]

Originally posted by radonman
I'd have to disagree with rule 8, partially. I went to a charter school 7-12, and part of the way the school ran was the opportunity to revise work. Through revised work, you're able to hone your skills, reduce mistakes/inaccuracies, and thus produce better work. Many things about school have no direct application to the real world, but that doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile.

Sure, but there is a point in time where it has to be done right the first time. Practice is one thing, dress rehearsal is another... and showtime.. there's no time for flubbing lines.

Would you like to drive over a bridge that the engineer gets to adjust and revise? Would you like to fly a plane that the pilot is able to adjust and revise his course?

[Realizm]

If Life Is Not Fair...

Why all the rules?

[denim]

Originally posted by limited
That list is plain mean.

If you think it's "mean", you don't understand either of the word "mean" or that list. But one day you will.

[Loki]

rogue49, imo your list is just as good as mother teresas

[Cynthetiq]

just digging up some good things for people to reconnect with including myself...

[Sultana]

This *is* good, thanks!!

[Ample]

Rule 12

Dont get married till you are at least in your late 20s.

Get all of that "stuff" out of your system before you decided to start a family. How do you can you know someone that well if you dont even know yourself, and any person in their early 20s that thinks that they know themself well, is just arrogant.

[nezmot]

Rule 13. Sometimes, it's good to say "Fuck Off".

[abaya]

Wow, it's funny that someone thought that list was "mean" or "cynical." Or maybe I'M just mean and cynical. I had internalized most of that stuff by the time college was over, so I had a real shock when I went back to teach high school and found all these kids who thought the world was their oyster. At 17, 18 years old, I don't blame them (no offense to those young 'uns on the board; I'm only 26), but come on... do you really think the world is gonna wipe your ass when you graduate?

And Apmle, I definitely agree with you. I was a bridesmaid in four weddings and attended countless weddings with the couple being in their early 20s or younger, and it was like watching a train wreck. It would not surprise me, if at some deep level, each of those people comes to regret that decision (if they are not already) in the near future. Many people warned them against getting married at that age, but hey, sex is a powerful thing (they were all waiting for marriage to have sex!).

[Min]

I like the blunt and brutal statements of the list. It's the short and simple of it.
I, too, am surprised at the next generation. I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, I was not that rude or self-centered nor acted with a sense of entitlement. I knew I was going to have to work very hard for what I wanted and life was never easy. If it was, be flippin' grateful.

[Elphaba]

Originally Posted by gov135

Every generation is self-centered and clueless. ...

This is why lists like this are nice, but only for grown-ups to reflect on. Kids won't believe it till they seen it.

Your age please, and your expertise on "every" generation. I am quite serious about asking for your credentials in making the statements that you have. Or are you simple saying that you are not a grownup?

[raeanna74]

Even though I'm 32 and not fresh out of high school and even though I've SEEN that rule #1 is true it still never ceases to amaze me. How UNFAIR life can be is endless suprise and consternation. One always HOPES that things will be fair but they so rarely aren't.

I recall this truth being made frighteningly real to me when my husband was in an accident and hospitalized. We had learned of another man who was admitted the day after hubby was admitted. He also has a head injury and basal skull fracture in the same places as hubby. There Joe was on day three doing worse then ever, with Pneumonia and Staph infection taking over in his lungs besides the coma and head injury keeping him unconcious. Then we got word that their procedure to suck some of the infection from his lungs had helped, his fever had begun to drop finally, and that he was moving his hand and foot. Only an hour later we learned that our friends in the Neurological ICU waiting room had lost THEIR father and brother. He had much the same injuries and no infection but yet he died and my husband lived. For them, there could be no fairness to life at all. Were we lucky? Destined? Who knows. Life AIN'T fair.

[cellophanedeity]

One thing I've learned is that being kind and nice and friendly will get you much further than being an asshole. Unless that asshole is rich and noisy.

[ngdawg]

A few years ago, I was going through what's commonly called a 'midlife crisis'. During that time, I acquired a 'mentor' who helped me with my developing digital art skills(actually, he DID develop them-I didn't know squat, being an oldtime sketcher, etc), helping me with learning about myself in general in the process. He was quite harsh at times, I thought. I rarely got praise, maybe a 'good, now do this' and would get pushed further along.
When I got whiny about things, I didn't get a 'there, there, now'-I got a 'well, what are you going to DO about it?'
I know it wasn't harshness. It was reality, it was being made to understand that we are responsible for the choices we make. It wasn't that I didn't know that, I didn't understand it fully, even though I had been raising my own kids just that way. Knowing life is unfair and that we alone make our consequences, is not quite the same as understanding it. Once it was clear I understood, he was no longer a mentor, he was a friend.
Just by the responses here, you could almost guess correctly the ages of the posters. The older they are, the more they understand what the list is saying. The younger they are, the more they think it's mean or won't apply to them so much. Interesting....

[Cross-Over]

Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

As a new graduate, this one is tough to stomach. Even though I took classes during two seperate summers, I still at least had a month off before the fall semester. It was quite nice, maybe I shoud have become a teacher.

[Seaver]

Your age please, and your expertise on "every" generation. I am quite serious about asking for your credentials in making the statements that you have. Or are you simple saying that you are not a grownup?

"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers."
-Socrates (470 BC - 399 BC)

Sorry to say Gov. but the rules have changed, this generation is now a no-fault one, it is now TV, the movies, video games or bad parents who are the reason kids do the things they do.

I think Art's list is more about how todays society sugar coats and babies today children.
How absurd is a game with no winning or losing?
You are right about the having to learn on your own, but I think this list is alittle different.

How do you say... pwned? All generations are the same. We are ALL arrogant and self-centered as young adults.

If we were all of the mindset of middle-aged men we would never be driven to explore, invent, or improve society.

[Cynthetiq]

Originally Posted by Seaver

How do you say... pwned? All generations are the same. We are ALL arrogant and self-centered as young adults.

Wow, great example to show how arrogant one can be in your explanation.

[Seaver]

Wow, great example to show how arrogant one can be in your explanation.

Is that any more arrogant than the people who always talk about the [insert generation here]?

Oh we never did [insert insult here], back in my day we had respect for [insert authority figure or positive trait here]. We never had it easy doing [insert mundane task here], we had to [insert mundane task expanded on with time].

Sorry, every older generation is as arrogant as the previous. The younger is simply more introspective and generally optimistic, while the older looks to their past with rose colored glasses to prove to themselves that was not them 20 years earlier.

[rat]

Originally Posted by limited

That list is plain mean. I understand that one day I'll be saying how true it is, but for now I have never seen a more cynical approach to reality. I'm sure you can find a better way to look at life than through that distorted looking glass

it makes me chuckle that you call that looking glass distorted. I'm 23 come july, and graduation is in August. guess what, college is nothing like high school, and the professors care less than high school teachers. tenured professors mean that they don't have to teach you, you don't have to learn, but as long as enough people in their class pass to make it appear that someone taught and someone learned, they get payed. and let's face it, their mortgage means a hell of a lot more to them than your education. just like their car note, their wife's birthday and their children. college also has very little to do with intelligence, and very much more to do with effort.

and try a fulltime job sometime. especially in a college town with 40000 other equally qualified candidates in the same age bracket that would be happy to take your occupation. you want tough bosses, try college town bar owners and managers. they have the most highly sought-after jobs and the largest pool of willing people to choose from. i've worked in three in the last year and a half; one got shutdown, one i got fired from for missing one minor's ID, and the other was working me 45 hours a week in the fall while i had 13 hours of class. life does not care about you, nor does the general public, and they will crush you if you don't know how to square your shoulders and take one on the chin.