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Old 06-10-2009, 02:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
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How to know if your exercise machine prototype is marketable.

How to know if your exercise machine prototype is marketable.

So you've built what you think is a cool new exercise machine made from PVC and duct tape and you're wondering if anyone would actually buy it. Well, If you can answer "yes" to the following questions then you should contact your local patent shop and start looking for a manufacturer because you've got a best seller on your hands.


Do sexy people look even sexier while using your machine?


One is the biggest selling points of an exercise machine isn't the machine itself. When people call to order your machine, they don't want the machine, they want the chick in the blue tights, or the 1% body fat guy in the black shorts. If you can make a product that enhances the sexiness of those that use it you're golden.


Can it be folded to fit under A bed or in A closet?


The first thing that passes though a potential buyer's mind is, "Where the hell am I going to put this piece of shit?" Well, If your machine folds up, you've solved that problem. Now, don't get upset that even when folded up your machine can't fit under the average bed. As long as your machine can fit under this bed or in this closet, you're legally covered!


Can the machine double as a sex bench... or anything else?


It's inevitable that the consumer's going to get tired of using your machine for it's intended purpose. They know this and it goes into their decision to buy your product. Doubling as a sex bench is one of the easiest for the consumer to imagine. Your infomercial already has sexy people in few clothes using the machine, It's not hard to see your old lady setting naked on the machine in nice position waiting for you. It doesn't have to be used as a sex bench though. It can also be used as a clothes hanger or an ironing board.

Do you get bored if you use the machine for more than 3 minutes at a time?

No worries, You only need to use the machine for 3 minutes a day to look like the fitness model selling the product.

Does it work?
Ha, Just kidding. It doesn't matter if your machine works or not. As long as you can burn more calories using the machine than you would walking to the refrigerator it's still technically a workout.

To summerize:
  • Make sexy people look sexy.
  • Folds to be smaller and fit under at least 1 bed.
  • Doubles as sex bench.. or ironing board.
  • Can give a "workout" in 3 minutes
  • Does it look like it works?

That's it. All you need to know about getting your crappy product into millions of homes!

(forgive me, It's my first time doing a thread like this. It's not as well written or formatted as I'd like.)
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Old 06-10-2009, 05:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: On the road...
I think that you have had experience marketing some of those "usless pieces of shit" that are out there! Keep up the good work!

ps. who is that girl in the second last pic?!? Look at that ass and legs!
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Old 06-10-2009, 05:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Makes me think of that show Pitch men on discovery...

its got billy mays and some other guy who do the infomercials for a living.
relatively entertaining...
dont think I would buy any exercise equipment on tv...
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Old 06-10-2009, 06:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hilarious! And so true. Especially that bit about folding up for easy stowage.
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