To whom do you lie more? Yourself, or others?

[Exscinded]

Do you lie more to yourself, or to others?

It occurred to me today that there's really a personal balance between how much we lie to ourselves and how much we lie to others. This can be other people we encounter in general, or people with whom we have friendships, love interests, etc.

Also, is there any real difference between the two, or is one worse than the other?

Lots of people would assure you that they've never told a lie, or don't believe in lying- but how often do you think they lie to themselves? I think everyone lies to themselves about something.

As for me, the answer is both- and my perspective is that lying to yourself is worse. How about you?

[Dilbert1234567]

i don't lie, at least about anything important...

ei my mother is not fat, she will never be fat, she can knock lamps off the table when she turns, she is not fat.

besides that i don't lie.

[warrrreagl]

Hello. My name is warrrreagl, and I'm a liar.

As mentioned in another thread, Grancey and I are involved in our local police department's Public Safety Academy, and last Thursday night we were given a demonstration of the standard polygraph test.

The police expert had a bunch of statistics concerning lies that were fascinating (I don't have them with me here at work, but I'll dig them out later). He told us how many lies an average person tells a day, and it varies from face-to-face conversation, phone conversation, or e-mail.

There were two highly interesting factoids that continue to grab my attention. First, every species on the planet is deceptive is some way - it's a basic part of survival. Therefore, lying is a basic part of our fundamental nature as a successful species. And since we seem to be much better at being deceptive than recognizing the deception of others, human society continues to develop laws that help to "even up" the score and try to force people to restrict their deception.

Second, the polygraph only works if the subject has something to lose. If a person is caught in a situation where they could lose something significant to themselves, then lies can be detected from the body's natural reaction to fear. In other words, if I ask you if this is the year 2007 and you say "No," then nothing would register on a polygraph because it is a meaningless lie. However, if I ask you if you've ever lied to your spouse and you say "No," then the polygraph will register your innate fear of losing your relationship and status with your spouse.

We watched a demonstration of that exact question and how the subject's reaction differed from meaningless lies to significant ones.

[ngdawg]

My standard (smartass) answer to anyone who challenges a story as the truth is, "I wouldn't lie to you-you're not my husband".
My friend Rooster has the perfect line, "I never lie. I rearrange the truth to suit my needs".
I've been 'accused' of being too open and honest, especially with my opinions(it's gotten me in deep trouble more than once in my jobs); I probably lie more to myself about things in general. A purchase won't hurt us, I don't smoke that much, etc. And I always lie to anyone asking for me on the phone:"She's not here right now" or, to those fake cops looking for donations:" My husband is a police officer".

[Cynthetiq]

I've lied to myself for so long that I actually believed it was true. what a mess that has been to unravel.

[Glory's Sun]

Originally Posted by warrrreagl

Hello. My name is warrrreagl, and I'm a liar.

As mentioned in another thread, Grancey and I are involved in our local police department's Public Safety Academy, and last Thursday night we were given a demonstration of the standard polygraph test.

The police expert had a bunch of statistics concerning lies that were fascinating (I don't have them with me here at work, but I'll dig them out later). He told us how many lies an average person tells a day, and it varies from face-to-face conversation, phone conversation, or e-mail.

There were two highly interesting factoids that continue to grab my attention. First, every species on the planet is deceptive is some way - it's a basic part of survival. Therefore, lying is a basic part of our fundamental nature as a successful species. And since we seem to be much better at being deceptive than recognizing the deception of others, human society continues to develop laws that help to "even up" the score and try to force people to restrict their deception.

Second, the polygraph only works if the subject has something to lose. If a person is caught in a situation where they could lose something significant to themselves, then lies can be detected from the body's natural reaction to fear. In other words, if I ask you if this is the year 2007 and you say "No," then nothing would register on a polygraph because it is a meaningless lie. However, if I ask you if you've ever lied to your spouse and you say "No," then the polygraph will register your innate fear of losing your relationship and status with your spouse.

We watched a demonstration of that exact question and how the subject's reaction differed from meaningless lies to significant ones.

Some of these factors and others are why I think polygraph's are a waste of time and really don't prove or disprove anything. It's so easy to fool one. Thankfully they aren't admissible in court.

I think everyone lies to themselves.. they just replace the word lie with the word justify. It's only a problem if it's detremental to the well being of the person or others.

[BadNick]

I feel like I do more of the "avoiding the truth" than lying, both to myself and others. I don't do any major lying to others ...maybe an occasional little white lie... so I rarely have guilt associated with that. Eventually, after it sinks in, I feel a lot worse when I've not been honest with myself.

[Ourcrazymodern?]

I've lied to myself, but remembering what the "truth" was, that doesn't work very well.
I've lied to others, but I must be very bad at because they always seem to know right away.
If I feel any need to tell a lie, I think about it very hard for long enough for the feeling to go away. It usually does.
Who was it who said something to the effect that it's easier to tell the truth because you might lose track of the lies you've told?

[LazyBoy]

I can actually say that I don't lie much at all....not gonna say that I *never* lie, because sometimes it just seems best lol...But I actually had a friend get aggravated with me yesterday saying "You don't have to tell the truth ALL the time"....I just find it easier to get it out in the open than to hide things...

-Will

[ratbastid]

I've discovered that every human being has the potential for limitless self-deception.

[Willravel]

I like to tell myself that I'm the fucking man...but it's really not true.

[warrrreagl]

Originally Posted by guccilvr

Some of these factors and others are why I think polygraph's are a waste of time and really don't prove or disprove anything. It's so easy to fool one. Thankfully they aren't admissible in court.

Actually, they are admissable in federal court.