"Typical Responses"

[REDL|NE]

I've been lurking on the TFP for quite some time now, and it's about time I bring up something that's been on my mind for some time now.

It seems that the majority of the TFP's members respond to threads with the "typical" respose". By Typical, I mean the answer that everyone wants to hear. Do you guys agree, or are you going to respond with a typical respose?

I think we need to re-consider the advice we give on (it seems 90% of TFP posts are advice waranting) posts.

[Jason762]

Ermmm allow me to be the first to say, "huh?"

The "answers" are the oftentimes the same because it's true, and it is what has worked for most of us.

I know that's true of the weight lifting/fitness advice I try to give.

[maleficent]

i think there's some ego stroking going on and people are told what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear... but that's life onthe internet.. you get what you pay for

I think when people ask for advice-- the asker is generally now well known or we only know a little bit about them... we also are not aware fo the entire story... we're only told one side of it - and we all know there are three sides to every story (his hers and the truth)

Some people, fancy themselves experts in certain topics, but in reality, they are only experts in their world... and can only give advice on what they would do ina given situation... which is how I hope people are answering... it's up to the asker then -- to weigh the options and decide what they should do.

Should people be more tough love like in their answers? nope - because unless youk now the person or the situation.. you cannot tell them what to do -- you can only respond to what they would do ina given situation

[Jason762]

Originally Posted by maleficent

i think there's some ego stroking going on and people are told what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear... but that's life onthe internet.. you get what you pay for

I think when people ask for advice-- the asker is generally now well known or we only know a little bit about them... we also are not aware fo the entire story... we're only told one side of it - and we all know there are three sides to every story (his hers and the truth)

Some people, fancy themselves experts in certain topics, but in reality, they are only experts in their world... and can only give advice on what they would do ina given situation... which is how I hope people are answering... it's up to the asker then -- to weigh the options and decide what they should do.

Should people be more tough love like in their answers? nope - because unless youk now the person or the situation.. you cannot tell them what to do -- you can only respond to what they would do ina given situation

Ah ha! Thanks for your response. Now I get what was being asked.

I guess I forgot to flip the "blonde mode" swtich off. "I'm sorry, Jason is in blonde mode right now, please come back another time".

Ha ha anyway, I have to say I haven't been posting long enough to be qualified to answer.

[REDL|NE]

Good responses guys. I think all of us fall into a trap sometimes of offering advice that may solve the problem in the short run, but overall may not be the solution to the problem. The TFP is in an intersting postion, in that, many people come to it to get advice on personal problems. Personal is the key word. What works for one may not work for another. This is why we need to be careful in giving advice to our fellow TFP'ers.

[ratbastid]

Rather than criticizing others' answers, you might try stepping up yourself to respond to some advice threads.

"I'm a rank noob, but geez, guys, your answers stink." Okay. I got your opinion. And who the hell are you?

I'm all for new people expressing their voices on TFP, but consider having a little respect.

[snowy]

ratbastid, I love you.

Yes, some of our answers may seem stock at times, especially for some of us who have been here a long time--mostly because it feels as if we get asked the same questions over and over again, especially in forum sections like sexuality.

We always appreciate new voices, so please post more before you jump to conclusions about why we answer the way we do.

[Cynthetiq]

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

ratbastid, I love you.

typical...


if you are lurking as much as you claim you'd see that it's really the same stuff over and over again.. discussions are very similar, situations are pretty similar even though we like to think our situations are so unique that there has to be some way the advice will be different.

[Ch'i]

Time for me to go rethink my life.

[analog]

Originally Posted by REDL|NE

*snip*

Well, let's see.... first of all, in most cases, there are only two basic options, right? Someone posts an article, or an opinion piece, or makes a thread in sexuality about fingering their girlfriend who might now be pregnant (you may laugh, but you have no idea how often that comes up... seriously), and they normally say something like either, "i can't decide between x and y choices" or, "my opinion is x. Is yours also x, or is it y?".

Now, there may be more than two options, but you're still somewhat limited to the scope of answers you're going to get.

And if someone makes a thread that's totally open-ended with no clear options, there are still going to be predictable patterns in human behavior.

This thread right here is a good example of that. It's totally open-ended. It's not even option-driven... you're just voicing a personal opinion. But even with that, you've still created an "agree or disagree" situation.

Given that you identify yourself as an avid lurker, then go about dropping criticism on those who participate actively, It's a fun irony that you'd receive the exact opposite of the "typical response"... people telling you what you don't want to hear, and "tough love".

If there's one thing that will earn you the "posts of harsh truth" badge real quick, it's being cocky in the face of those who love this place and participate.

For the record, I observe plenty of "tough love" and "I know you don't want to hear this, but..." posts. There are people I could name off right now (adding my own name to the list) who will always give it to you straight, who will always give that "the best advice is not what you want to hear" answer. Some of them are damn near infamous for it... and it is the balance of those people and the rest of the caring members of the TFP that makes this place a rich tapestry of attitudes, opinions and ideas.

Note: Lurking does not mean you watch a lot and can make grand impartial observations- it just means you don't participate, and therefore think that if you did, you'd do it better than the people you're watching. That's your tough love from me for the day.

- analog.

[Toaster126]

Originally Posted by REDL|NE

This is why we need to be careful in giving advice to our fellow TFP'ers.

I think the responsiblity lies solely with the person who is taking the advice. THEY need to be careful taking advice from people who are not involved in the situation (most likely) and don't know them in real life (most likely).

[little_tippler]

The answers may be typical if you've been observing for a while because as analog said, some questions get repeated a lot, albeit with different variables. I for one always give an honest answer regarding what I think would be the best course of action for the situation presented. I don't sugar coat it, but I always try to be respectful, considering I don't know the people that well, and that is a big part of what the TFP is about.

[Jinn]

In the case you post something that could offend, however, don't expect to get honest answers. People don't like having their weaknesses pointed out.

[Zeraph]

I think it's more like what was originally posted elicits only certain responses. This is more a failing of the original post than of the responses.

This is also a semi-tight-nit (semi because anyone can join but tightly nit because most don't stick around) community, so of course many people will have very similar opinions; we all think alike. Great minds and all that.

[Suave]

I give whatever response I deem necessary. I post here infrequently enough that I don't even "know" who most of you are, and thus it's easy to stay objective.