Goals - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Zeraph · 04-13-2006, 10:12 AM

Have you ever run into someone who says "Oh no...I don't have any goals, I don't like them"? I've had some intelligent people say that to me, and it boggles my mind. Unless you are completely apathetic you have goals. The most recent example was an intelligent woman talking to me about english-somethingelse double majoring, and getting published, and she tells me she has no goals!

I just don't get it, do people not understand what goals are? If this is the case goals must have gotten a bad rap in grade school or something for me to keep running into these people. It's like there's some negative stereotype associated with them and people are afraid to have them, even though its nearly impossible to escape them.

Or is this just a coincidence and I just happen to be running into some wierd people? Does anyone else encounter people like this and just wonder...?

Sultana · 04-13-2006, 10:35 AM

Maybe what goals means to them is different from what it means to you? Dunno, can't imagine not having goals.
Maybe they do have goals, they just haven't articulated them to themselves. Like, sometime ago a friend asked me where I saw myself being in 5 years. Kinda caught by surprise, I muttered something uninspiring I'm sure. But although I hadn't set a time frame for myself, I certainly live my life looking towards and planning for the future. I just didn't have a "script" prepared with an answer for a "five year" specific question right then.

But now I think it's more exciting to be specific like that. Just hadn't thought of it that way before.

Cynthetiq · 04-13-2006, 10:53 AM

some people don't like the idea of the word goals, most people are afraid of success or failure and goals mean one or the other.

Ustwo · 04-13-2006, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cynthetiq

some people don't like the idea of the word goals, most people are afraid of success or failure and goals mean one or the other.

Yep.

Last question you want to hear in life when you are coasting is 'What are your goals?'

Its also the most important question to ask someone who is coasting

Zeraph · 04-13-2006, 11:28 AM

Ah it all makes sense now. I should have figured it out. Thanks.

snowy · 04-13-2006, 11:41 AM

The worst thing you can ask a recently graduated college student is "What are your goals?" I think it's hard for people in those kinds of positions to think about What To Do Next. College students, even those who haven't graduated, often have a hard time thinking about this, because The Real World is 1) something they try not to think about, and 2) something they have no idea about (no realistic idea anyways).

It's much easier to have goals, especially realistic ones, when you DO have some sense of what life beyond college is like. Furthermore, some people are down and out SCARED of what the future holds for them, and having goals means having to think about the future.

While I try to have goals, I find it better to have some broad targets than specifics. Otherwise I get too anxious, and anxiety has been a huge problem for me. I enjoy looking at the big picture but trying to do so without beating myself up is hard. I imagine there are other people in the same position as I am.

shesus · 04-13-2006, 01:30 PM

I've made goals...some of them I've reached, some I've tossed. I'm living right now to survive. I don't have a 5 year plan and looking back to where I was 5 years ago...wow, I couldn't have planned this as a goal at all.

I think asking for a goal does put a person on the spot. Sometimes I like to just be and go where the tide takes me. If asked for a goal right now I would say to transition careers, but I don't know to what or to where. So, no goal for me...or at least not one I can put into words for someone.

Heh, maybe my goal is to have a goal-free life..

stevie667 · 04-13-2006, 01:34 PM

I have two goals, mine and the other guys.

Impetuous1 · 04-14-2006, 05:13 AM

If you don't have any goals then you can never really be disappointed. Also, when good things do happen the surprise and resulting happiness is that much greater.

Sultana · 04-14-2006, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impetuous1

If you don't have any goals then you can never really be disappointed. Also, when good things do happen the surprise and resulting happiness is that much greater.

But as my financial planner friend says, "If you aim at nothing, you'll certainly hit it." or something to that effect.

And that can be disappointing.

The_Jazz · 04-14-2006, 06:54 AM

Hasn't anyone here seen "Dodgeball" and heard the inspirational talk? I've been to the Great Wall of China, I've seen the Pyramida, I've even seen a grown man satifisfy a camel, but I've never seen anything like this!

Quote:

Lance Armstrong: Hey, aren't you Peter La Fleur?
Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!
Lance Armstrong: Yeah, that's me. But I'm a big fan of yours.
Peter La Fleur: Really?
Lance Armstrong: Yeah, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN 8. I just can't get enough of it. Good luck in the tournament. I'm really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I think you better hurry up or you're gonna be late.
Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance.
Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking of quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer all at the same time. But with the love and support of my friends and family, I got back on the bike and won the Tour de France five times in a row. But I'm sure you have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying of that's keeping you from the finals?
Peter La Fleur: Right now it feels a little bit like... shame.
Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well good luck to you Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.

I'm going to go dodge some wrenches now...

Invalid Comfort · 04-15-2006, 06:39 PM

Goals are something that pertains to individual. As it's been stated, to some they don't acctualy attribute them as "goals" because they don't believe in the meaning of the word.

I for one, set very very difficult goals for myself. I want to own a house by the time I'm 21 so I can start investing in real estate, then by the time I'm 35 I want to be able to build my dream house. These are un-realistic goals, I am sure, but they are the only things that let me wake up every morning.

If I didn't have them, I wouldn't be alive.

But coastings always fun. The hard part for myself is getting lost on the way to completing the goals I have set for myself. It has happened frequently, and often without warning. I'm having trouble finding the way to complete my goals, but its a journey that I am enjoying along with the rollercoaster.

04-13-2006, 10:12 AM	#1 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	Goals Have you ever run into someone who says "Oh no...I don't have any goals, I don't like them"? I've had some intelligent people say that to me, and it boggles my mind. Unless you are completely apathetic you have goals. The most recent example was an intelligent woman talking to me about english-somethingelse double majoring, and getting published, and she tells me she has no goals! I just don't get it, do people not understand what goals are? If this is the case goals must have gotten a bad rap in grade school or something for me to keep running into these people. It's like there's some negative stereotype associated with them and people are afraid to have them, even though its nearly impossible to escape them. Or is this just a coincidence and I just happen to be running into some wierd people? Does anyone else encounter people like this and just wonder...?

04-13-2006, 10:35 AM	#2 (permalink)
Sultana Falling Angel Location: L.A. L.A. land	Maybe what goals means to them is different from what it means to you? Dunno, can't imagine not having goals. Maybe they do have goals, they just haven't articulated them to themselves. Like, sometime ago a friend asked me where I saw myself being in 5 years. Kinda caught by surprise, I muttered something uninspiring I'm sure. But although I hadn't set a time frame for myself, I certainly live my life looking towards and planning for the future. I just didn't have a "script" prepared with an answer for a "five year" specific question right then. But now I think it's more exciting to be specific like that. Just hadn't thought of it that way before. __________________ "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential.

04-13-2006, 10:53 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	some people don't like the idea of the word goals, most people are afraid of success or failure and goals mean one or the other. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

04-13-2006, 11:41 AM	#6 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	The worst thing you can ask a recently graduated college student is "What are your goals?" I think it's hard for people in those kinds of positions to think about What To Do Next. College students, even those who haven't graduated, often have a hard time thinking about this, because The Real World is 1) something they try not to think about, and 2) something they have no idea about (no realistic idea anyways). It's much easier to have goals, especially realistic ones, when you DO have some sense of what life beyond college is like. Furthermore, some people are down and out SCARED of what the future holds for them, and having goals means having to think about the future. While I try to have goals, I find it better to have some broad targets than specifics. Otherwise I get too anxious, and anxiety has been a huge problem for me. I enjoy looking at the big picture but trying to do so without beating myself up is hard. I imagine there are other people in the same position as I am. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

04-13-2006, 01:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
shesus Fancy Location: Chicago	I've made goals...some of them I've reached, some I've tossed. I'm living right now to survive. I don't have a 5 year plan and looking back to where I was 5 years ago...wow, I couldn't have planned this as a goal at all. I think asking for a goal does put a person on the spot. Sometimes I like to just be and go where the tide takes me. If asked for a goal right now I would say to transition careers, but I don't know to what or to where. So, no goal for me...or at least not one I can put into words for someone. Heh, maybe my goal is to have a goal-free life.. __________________ Whatever did happen to your soul? I heard you sold it Choose Heaven for the weather and Hell for the company

04-13-2006, 11:28 AM	#5 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	Ah it all makes sense now. I should have figured it out. Thanks.

04-13-2006, 01:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
stevie667 Too Awesome for Aardvarks Location: Angloland	I have two goals, mine and the other guys. __________________ Office hours have changed. Please call during office hours for more information.

04-14-2006, 05:13 AM	#9 (permalink)
Impetuous1 Insane Location: Arizona	If you don't have any goals then you can never really be disappointed. Also, when good things do happen the surprise and resulting happiness is that much greater.

04-15-2006, 06:39 PM	#12 (permalink)
Invalid Comfort Upright	Goals are something that pertains to individual. As it's been stated, to some they don't acctualy attribute them as "goals" because they don't believe in the meaning of the word. I for one, set very very difficult goals for myself. I want to own a house by the time I'm 21 so I can start investing in real estate, then by the time I'm 35 I want to be able to build my dream house. These are un-realistic goals, I am sure, but they are the only things that let me wake up every morning. If I didn't have them, I wouldn't be alive. But coastings always fun. The hard part for myself is getting lost on the way to completing the goals I have set for myself. It has happened frequently, and often without warning. I'm having trouble finding the way to complete my goals, but its a journey that I am enjoying along with the rollercoaster.